Out and about on the streets: Sat 11th Nov

I met up with a couple of dudes to do some day game. These were nice fellas (i.e. not complete oddballs) who I'd be happy to meet up with again. One of them had not done any day game for a couple of years so we all encouraged him to approach. This went well and he approached 4 or 5 girls and a had a couple of decent interactions... bless him.

As we were discussing pickup stuff my head became filled up with it all and it became hard to relax. My confidence in my overall handling of women was also low as none of the ones in my phone book seemed interested any more.

I managed to have a couple of ok interactions, and forced myself to approach a couple of English girls for once. I really prefer the oriental girls though and my best one of the day was a girl from Kazakhstan (and yes I resisted mentioning Borat). I text her later on that day and she seemed surprised and very excited that I'd text her. Looking good.

Out and about on the streets: Wed 14th Nov

Met up with a mate in town for a wander and do a few approaches. I spotted a really well dressed cute girl in the mall. I tell her what I think and we chat. She is from Taiwan, so I chat about that for a bit. I definitely got too excited telling her about my tales in Taiwan and tried to force this as our 'connection'. I was also feeling a little self conscious of my eye contact for some reason, and was fucking boiling and sweaty, so bailed with her Facebook. Later I check her on Facebook, and it turns out she is good friends with a bird i took out a while ago. Don't think I'll be hearing from her again.

Met another cute well turned out chick on Deansgate. She kept saying she had to go, but wasn't exactly convincing about it. I ignored this and carried on the conversation with her. Turns out she was just nervous, and she ended up giggling away to herself and telling me she didn't know what to say.

Today I was making a more concerted effort to come across as the selector. I was asking her what she was into, what she liked to do for fun, etc. I was also making sure I didn't agree with every damn thing she said as if everything was 'cool'. So I got her number, we chatted and joked a bit more and I bailed.

I text her a couple of times with postitive responses and now I am going to leave it a few days. I am now trying to resist contacting these girls too much. I feel I have been over keen with most of them. I also know she has a lot of uni work on so no point in trying to set up a day 2 quite yet.

Out and about on the streets: Thurs 15th Nov

Today I was conscious of trying to find English girls I liked. I need to branch out more and experiment. I approached a few girls, one I had a great interaction with, but she had a boyfriend. They love telling you after 5 mins of conversation, even though they know what you're after!

So I then spot a lovely English girl, right up my street with her dress sense and slim figure. I go over and tell her I love her style, and ask if she's a fashion student. Turned out she was doing politics at uni. Lovely. We chat about that for a bit, I ask her about music and where she likes to hang out, etc. This girl is cool and we get on well. I get her number, chat a bit more then I bail.

Review: interacting with the girl

In the last couple of weeks I have recently been hanging out with another dude, called Riz, who I met through another day game guy on the streets. He not only does day game himself, but also teaches other guys day game. We have been getting on well and kicking about ideas on it all, and he has started to give me opinions on some of the issues I have been having. He therefore suggested I record one of my interactions with a girl on the street.

I did just that and I thought I'd run a pretty smooth interaction with her with me getting her number. Riz then offered to listen to it and over a coffee he ran through what he saw as issues:

Voice projection: When I introduced myself to the girl I sound apologetic, and I even say I'm sorry to her. He suggested I practice projecting my voice more. My Mum used to always tell me to speak up.

Neutralise voice tonality: When responding to pretty much everything the girl says I speak with high pitched upward inflections. By doing this I am trying to force rapport with me telling her everything she says is 'cool' or 'amazing', even if I don't care! I am not a challenge to her, I am not expressing any genuine emotion, I am merely agreeable.

Passion & enthusiasm: When talking about my own interests I almost brush these aside, for fear of coming across as boastful or possibly even fear of boring the girl. I am trying to come across as agreeable in order for her to 'like me', rather than polarizing myself by expressing myself more authentically.

Create a stronger connection: My conversation didn't really going far beyond surface level or what you might read on a profile or cv. If I want to get to know these girls I should dig deeper and find out what interests or motivates the girl to do her job, or her hobbies. She probably felt I wasn't all that interested to find out about her.

Generally the girl seems attracted to me, giggling to break the tension and telling me about herself. But because I was too needy, outcome dependent and probably left her wondering why I'd asked for her number (beyond finding her attractive), the text interaction following this fizzled out fast.
Obviously there are many other variables to why they wouldn't be interested, but I feel that by addressing some of my weak behaviour I can improve how a girl who is attracted to me perceives me.

Put all this together & it looks like you aren't relaxed enough. Your probably putting too much pressure on yourself with the outcome dependency etc. Maybe you still get nervous too.

But it's good that you are acknowledging the issues & doing something about it.

He's Asian... but more tall and thin.

Back on the streets: Sun 25th Nov

A couple of mates were visiting and they wanted to watch yet another game of footy. I decided I would sneak off on my own for an hour to chat to some girls.

After a couple of approaches I see a girl go into Boots. I follow and tell her what I think of her. She's all blushes. I recorded this interaction too, mainly to see if I could implement what Riz had noted.

Reflecting on this I had managed to stop the desperate rapport seeking high pitched voice. I was also more laid back and genuine in my screening of her, and took the conversation beyond the general questions of 'what do you do?... and took it further down the route of 'what inspired you to do that?'

We ended up talking about DJing and how she wanted to learn... she buzzed off the fact I had decks in my basement. The conversation lasted around 12 minutes and ended with me putting my number in her phone. I tried to ring my phone from her's but there was no signal. I was thus left to rely on her to contact me. Two hours later she text me... this made a pleasant change.

motherfucker!!! get in there

Back on the streets: Sat 1st Dec

Met up with some of the fellow day gamers I'd been hanging out with recently and we headed to Market St. It was absolute chaos with Crimbo shoppers. I did a few approaches and managed to get the 3rd girl to stop after getting the brush off. The day before I was very weak and my mind just wasn't up to conversation with girls, today was better. The girl excused herself so I moved on.

I ended up in Poundland and spotted a girl with a great dress sense. Boots, overcoat and nice scarf, i walked up nearby and told her. She liked this and we chatted. I was nice and relaxed, and utilised my natural laid back manner, and the conversation flowed. No need to think too much, just get her to tell me about herself and maintain good eye contact. She ended up telling me she had coursework to hand in on Tues. I asked if that was the end of term and she said yes, so i told her we will meet up on Wed. She agreed and we exchanged numbers.

Two hours later she text me. This is the second girl in a week who has text me first.

Out n about: Mon 4th Dec

Today I met up with my mate Riz, wandered around had a chat, and on our travels I did a handful of approaches. However I found myself making some pretty stupid excuses along the way.

Excuse 1: 'she looked a bit old'... I saw a really nicely dressed girl showing some great leg walk into Aldi. I followed and told her I liked her style. She loved this, but then I made my excuses and departed. On reflection I regreted this. Would I kiss her, yes. Would I fuck her, check. Why not continue the interaction then?

Excuse 2: 'I held her hand, but let go'... To be fair to myself I upon asking this girls name I took her hand and held it for a good 20 seconds before letting go. For me this was pushing my age old personal social boundaries of physical contact. BUT, she seemed perfectly happy for me to do this... so the question is, why let go?

Excuse 3: 'She's only in town for one night'... A girl from California visiting Manchester for one night and about to meet friends go out. I had the best interaction of the day, maybe even the week with this girl, but I decided to leave it at that. Could I not have at least tried to suggest a meet up, even with her mates and drafting in my own mates?

On reflection I can identify with some nonsensical rationalization. I need to broaden my beliefs on what is possible and what I can allow myself to do.

Instant Date: Tues 4th Dec

Met up with Riz, this time nice and early at 11:30am. Today we wanted to give this a good bash. We sat for a coffee to wake up a bit and after an hour I mustered up my first approach. I was choding out quite a bit, but as soon as I'd made my first approach and had my first two sentence interaction followed by a knockback, there was a smile on my face.

After a few more short interactions, mainly with white girls I might add, I saw a cute very cooly dressed Chinese girl. I went over and told her. My proximity was full on as I got right up in her face, and maintained solid eye contact whilst holding her hand... this time I didn't let go until she pulled it away (which took a while). She was from Bristol uni and in town for a few hours. She was about to go and pick up a guitar she has bought from Ebay, and was here til 7pm. It was 3:45pm and I told her we will go for tea at 5pm.

Riz asked me why i didnt go with her then and there... I have no good answer to that... doh! This could have led to nothing, but after reinitiating contact with her I had her in the bar sat next to me.

Inline with the approach I again ensured my sexual intent with close proximity and again getting up in her face. My eye contact was solid and she didn't respond negatively to me holding her hand, or stroking her hair. This time I was conscious of looking out for her eyes to see if she looked at my lips (particularly as I has misread virtually all my kiss closes recently!). Sublty she did this a couple of times. Green light.

I then focused the conversation onto stuff in her life, then said something about her eyes, and then moved in for the kiss. All the while I was conscious of talking about random stuff to make it seem like it wasn't all a big deal... after all why should it be?

I then took her to another bar for a beer, we chatted about music, kissed some more, then I walked her to the station made out again, then she told me I should come stay in Bristol. Why not.