Date: Sophia the teacher

Since our last date she was messaging me all keen to meet up again and she suggested I take her to another tea house. We did just that and I tied it in with an exploration of some of Manchester’s fine back streets. As she loves playing the piano I also took her to a music shop on Deansgate, which proved to be pretty entertaining as we both had a tinkle on the old ivories.

Upon getting the first urge to kiss her properly, after our cream tea, I again had to work at getting her comfortable kissing again, with her resisting several atttempts. As with our last date, patience and persistence paid off, and we ended up with many a fine moment kissing in the empty piano room in the music shop or on the quiet backstreets.

We then ended up at the Brewdog bar for an ale tasting session. Here we found a sofa on the balcony and had the area all to ourselves. Things ended up getting pretty steamy with her hand working its way down into my pants. After an hour in the bar I told her I needed to get back to get set for a New Years Eve party.

Initially she seemed to suggest she would come with me, and a lay was looking good. However she changed her mind upon us getting to the tram station. Fair enough, as she already had plans with friends for New Years Eve. It was interesting though, as it seemed to show her loose control living in the moment, before then having time to rationalise her thoughts and actions. Perhaps i could have been more resilient and told her she was coming with me.

I will certainly be angling to get her back to mine next time.

I don't feel I am being gay or dishonest. I take girls to places I want to them, and do things with them that I enjoy (believe it or not I love the ritual of afternoon tea). I'm having a blast at the moment and learning a lot about different girls and myself.


I don't believe I am conning anyone. I promise nothing to them. It may be painful for you to read this thread, or seen as strange behaviour. But hey, I was struggling to get a kiss until a couple of weeks ago and was nowhere near a lay. Sure I would love to speed up this process, and I will, with time.

I take onboard your sentiment K, and realise I am not getting what I want from these girls yet. I hope to give you all some more exciting and inspiring stories which include more bedroom action, and less tearoom action!

What I was thinking.

I read some of your post last night and had to stop because of that nauseating feeling you sometimes get when your watching a romantic comedy and the guy is making all the classic mr nice guy mistakes but you can't stop him..

We all do it, I'm sure some day you'l read the post back and get the same feeling..


My advice

Easier said than done but man up, MUCH MUCH easier to set the manly tone from the start though, don't just try and turn it around instantly after being like this.

Db

It's cool if you enjoy doing them things so do I but I save it for the cool ones who have already proven to be good in the sack.

It's not a problem with you buying into what she wants to do its just all the cliche shit and what she will ****automatically expect**** from guys who do that stuff BEFORE SEX

You're doing fine, don't worry. Don't fall into the trap of outcome dependence, (easier said than done) The more dates you go on, the more you'll self correct. Remember, you said she got lost in the moment and it felt she would come home with you. You probably realise that changing her mood and not her mind will open her legs for you. The best thing you can do in the interaction is concentrate on pumping up your own state, enjoying her. These aren't techniques but states of mind.

One more thing, 60% of the time you're not getting laid is because of random circumstances beyond your control! I would be proud of that date, well done!!

Just keep plugging away mate you're doing good. In 12 months time you're gonna be sick at this. Sapmi is on the money.

Good mate growth and forward movement are both great things.

Don't make the mistake of thinking its got to be a slow process though, next time you've done a fresh set see it as a fresh start stop thinking about your reference points about yourself and start thinking about her reference points about you, if you fuck up then learn from it.

I guess I'm trying to say its better to learn from fucking up the at the right stuff than slowly building upon bad foundations.

Just my thoughts, I'm often wrong.

I don't see anything particularly bad about the foundations I created with this girl. I think the date went pretty fucking well if you compare the way I used to go about it. I made out with her loads (and was not deterred by her token resistance) had a good feel of her tits, ass and pussy in the bar, and nearly got her back to mine without even suggesting it.

I agree in seeing each girl as a fresh start, and can see the difference in behaviour now between old numbers and new. I had built bad foundations with the old ones, chased them, and hesitated in taking action... thus they have lost interest. The new ones I have been a lot more laid back with and seem keen to see me, even asking me out on dates (something new to me), so I assume I'm heading in a better direction with my new numbers.

As for the reference points. I'm talking about realising the positive impact of taking risks and how it can bring me results a lot faster for me. For example, after recent experiences, physical contact and kissing are not as big a deal as they used to be. They are now more within my reality than ever, and I can see how much more attracted the girls are as a result.

After some more thought, I have to pick you gents up on a few points:

You talk as the girls impressing me with their talents on their musical instruments is somehow negative. When I was sat there, two weeks in a row, the first girl strumming the guitar singing to me, the second playing me Chopin on the piano back at her halls... both times I have to admit I thought to myself, 'this is pretty fucking cool'.

I love getting to know new girls, especially ones who impress me. Do you genuinely believe it is gay or dishonest to go out with a girl and enjoy their company then?


Ok, so one of the girls might end up wanting to have a relationship with me, why do you see this as an potential issue? Have I not 'gamed' her right then if she falls in love with me? I promise nothing I don't intend on delivering.


The girl and I are having fun together. I don't get at what stage she should feel conned by me.


So in the context of me meeting a girl sober in a shop, as I did with this religious teacher girl, how exactly do I run your proposed 'game', i.e. sleep with her first, then take her on dates after deciding she is pretty cool?

I think kowalski is being harsh on you, Nova. Perhaps kowalski can clarify more specifically on what you should be doing differently? I would be interested to read it.

Ultimately, the vast majority of women are hard bloody hard work. The pace of the escalation in your interactions does not surprise me. I'd be more surprised if at the end of your memoirs you say you slept with the woman, and I'd question the truthfulness of it.

I guess the alternative approach would be Phil's (pre GF), something like "Give me your number so we can arrange to meet up and have amazing sex together" and see how that works. I would solute you if you did.

P.S. I hate the phrase 'game her' or 'run game', it's repugnant.