Back dating a load of field reports.

Friday 24th May: Me and my mate were really hungover, dying, sat there drinking before going out, hit town and we ended up going home. Also he properly broke up with his girlfriend too which was good.

May 25th (my birthday): hit town with a few mates, although one most of my best mates were out of town due to work and shit, so I ended up doing mass approaching without even realising it. Half messing about, half being serious.

I tried it on with every girl in the busiest bar in the town, I was fucked though. I had three conversations with foreign girls whose name I couldn't pronounce which led to nowhere. A girl I know from around town was giving me her number and telling me to meet her later whilst her boyfriend stood there waiting which was quite fucked up, especially with me grabbing her ass during the process.

Was chatting to some older gal who said "You're too young" then all of a sudden I was interested. This was a lesson I learnt in being the prize, a challenge and false disqualification. It may be crude but it fucking works! I incorporated it into my game.

Anyway there was loads of shit that went on and it was great for a night with all my good mates missing. I realised I chased too much, something I knew already but didn't know who fix.

Then outside a club whilst it was closing, I made friends with someone I go through cycles of hating and liking: our main interest is partying and girls, in fact, only interest.

We both went home and as I go inside my house he says "Wanna come to a rave tomorrow?"

Me: "How much is it? What time? Where?"
Him: "Dunno"
Me: "Sure"

Lessons learnt: Being a challenge/disqualifying is a great flirting technique and funny.

Sunday 26th May

Went to a rave in some farm in the middle of nowhere, was a mission finding a rave which we didn't know the name of or place that was 20 miles out of town.

At first I thought "Ill just drink", it was like a barn house, farmy rave place. In the camp
site we got speaking to some people in a tee-pee. I was dead silent, nothing to say to them, just listening to them all thinking "Fuck i've come to an ecstasy rave with no one I really like, hungover, and not in the mood to speak"

They were talking about Geese, and using Improv skills I decided to say whatever was on my mind, "Whats the difference between a Goose and a Swan?", turned into a funny debate and we were all well on the way to making friends.

We all went looking for mdma and I went halves on some with a Brazillian guy, got maaaaaaaaaaaaashed, I met some my mates Ex who i used to have a crush on and it was quite possibly the most inexplicable test of will power ever displayed by man:

I was on E
I used to really like her
Now I actually have some game, I could tell all I had to do was pull the trigger.

I then was just calling girls over to sit on my lap whilst I stroked them and weird shit like that but everybody was mashed and loving it.

I didn't. Everybody was on E, like every single person in this entire place. I met some girl and we raved, danced, kissed etc etc.

Took her to my tent, my mates in there with a girl already cunt! I realised he wasn't going to leave. If I was drunk I wouldn't have minded having a dirty orgy (which was on the cards too) but I was loved up and thought that seemed uncool. So we sat in awkward silence until I said lets leave. Her friends start arguing with her and she had to leave. Fucking tents!

Lesson learnt: Have a fucking better plan than one tent between three guys who are out to pulls! (and each of us did). Idiot. As we parted ways I said, in a romantic way "Can I rub my face in your ass?", I did.

Monday 27th May

Went Chy bar, we had these stamps that say "Like" and "Dislike" but I was dead sober as we didn't pre drink enough before going.

So I just started stamping every girl under the sun. Pros and cons my niggas.

One girl I did it too made out with me because she found it so funny but she was a terrible kiss, so I stamped her on the face wondering how long it'd take for her to get pissed off and leave. It was around 11. Another group of girls loved it in that fiesty way as they were 'pissed off' but spent the night coming up like "hahaha you guys are
legends!" One spanish girl went ballistic. . . I suffer for my art.

Then I did a stupid thing which was stamp a girl I actually liked from seeing her around town and instead of being all fun and bring the party I just acted gourmless and walked off whilst they looked indifferent at the stamp.

Stamped some random girl and she said "Oh barney you're so funny!",

Me: "Huh oh uhh"
Her: "Its me from Thursday"
Me: Ohh yeah *luckily remembers name*, lets go outside

Sits on my lap, wont make out with me, get talking, its going good, then we go off to see our friends.

For the rest of the night she completely blanks me, this club is tiny, you cant even blank strangers let alone people you know! This girl is going to be a strange one.

Lost my hoody and got pissed off and went home.

Lots more to come, all this is just act 1!

The next day The girl who blanked me (Ass-girl) starts texting me about my night and they're all enthusiastic, full of adjectives, smileys and kisses. Wtf. We plan to meet up on Thursday.

its Tuesday and Im meant to meet up with another girl in a bar, she's out with her mates but all my friends are fucked from five day benders and working seven days a week. Luckily I manage to persuade a friend to come out sober, I didn't wanna be some lame fuck hanging out with a girl and her friends.

I see her in the club and she blanks me. . .then doesn't answer phone calls or texts WTF is happening to me! I see her walk out the toilet and stamp her with the dislike, we get off to a great start, sit down alone together but near her friends.

I realise she was just a bit nervous in meeting me, so I make fun of her for it as I'm a nice guy. Her friend comes over and tries to cockblock "Who is this guy?" Me: "I'm her ex-boyfriend who recently broke out jail. Murder, rape.". Then i make fun of the friend for being called Robin in a playful but fuck you way. She fucks off.

Then, for reasons too long to explain, we go our separate ways for two seconds and I got this vibe/doubt she didn't wanna speak to me. So I go to leave as my friend has already left. I tell her Im leaving and she's like "Dont go stay!" Fuck, I can't all of a sudden change my mind.

Bearing in mind I was supposed to leave the next day for manchester, so im walking home like "You mug Barney!" Go home and I cant book a ticket for Manchester. So im here for another week!!

Next day I go cinema, text her "hey lets go for a drink", her: "I dont want to go out", Me: "Ill come over yours then" her: "Okay text me when you're near". And you know the rest.

Go out the next day Thursday to meet Ass-girl at a bar but she fucking blanks me again whilst speaking to some guys! Luckily i met some girl (just a friend) and we chatted, told her to bring out her hot friends on the weekend. She's a fucking bro, she's aiight with me hitting on her mates and shit. In fact she loves it.

I go home deciding to not text or follow up on ass-girl and go find another girl. She texts me the next day, a long ass text full of colloquialisms and excessive exclamation marks about how her boss was speaking to her about work for ages and she couldn't get away.

Set a date for Saturday, thinking okay random shit happens in life, persist, put the work in.

Still more to come (friday night, the worst date in the world, saturday night, Sunday day plus night and Monday night).

My life is becoming so random.

I actually can't be bothered writing all these field reports so I'll sum them up quickly.

Friday night, i went around being complete cocky cunt and for about an hour me and my mate were at this table calling girls over and had these two girls with mega-banter.

It wasn't even gaming, just pure self amusement and after we both realised we could have banged them if for one second we actually tried chatting them up. Made out with some lesbian which ass-girl happened to walk by and see. Spoke to ass-girl and she was being weird.

Wake up the next day with the worst hangover in a long time, couldnt really make proper sentences, didn't feel like reality but I had a date with ass-girl (the fact I was leaving on the wednesday meant I couldnt really put plans off for a later date)

So we hang out and she goes hot/cold for the entire time, went for some food, bit of shopping, a coffee then I gave her a kiss on the lips and went home as I couldnt handle being awake. I was physical - which Ive come to believe is an important thing-, made it clear that this wasn't just friends and made plans to meet up later that night whilst we're both drunk.

Bad points was my hangover, I wasn't as funny, leading, dominant and all that as I could have been.

That night we're in a busy bar and I started stamping girls with the DISLIKE stamp and some smoking hot girl found it amazing "I cant believe you dislike me!", "I strongly dislike you", "Give me the like one!" Blah Blah Blah, tried to make out with some cute dreadlock haired girl she weren't having it.

Later in another club, I'd lost my buzz off the alcohol and felt tired, everybody I knew was on drugs and I felt outsided and a bit of a tag along. Then the smoking hot girl pops up out of nowhere "You stamped me earlier!", "Ahhhh", "You said you strongly dislike me", "Ohhhhh"

We get talking, she says I have perfect teeth, I tell her I don't date white chicks, so she explains to me how she's half mexican or something, we chat for ages, she's probably the friendliest girl I've spoken to in a while but says she has a boyfriend when i go for her number. I tell her to ditch him and some random shit, so she says shes going to add me on FB as we must have mutual friends.

I went home bored a bit later.

Next day I added her on FB and started chatting, got her number over there but after a few messages and texts she stopped. Dammit! A good thing is I didn't think "Oh shit how do I play this right she's so pretty!", I was chilling just saying whatever and I didn't even think "Oh this girls out of my league im going to try my best!".

Anyway If I see her out Im going to go for it again. Just got to put the work in innit.

Sunday I met a friend at a bar but I didnt drink at all (livers fucked) and had a relaxed chilled one. A friend I was with pointed out some girl drinking by herself and said she'd find it funny if one of us went up and said "So what we drinking?". I almost forgot what I'd been doing the past five months and did it.

I left after a while between her boyfriend just being at the bar and her having no idea what I was saying being foreign and all. Two minutes later she's asking if we can get any coke. . . fucking Newquay!

Monday night, was so-so, I was pretty sober in the club, wasn't really with anyone in particular which meant i didn't have a proper base camp of people. Made a decision to leave the stamps at home as now Im just stamping people I've already stamped which isn't funny and a but annoying to both of us.

I saw ass-girl out and she was being rude, so i decided time is short and goes by quicker than you think so Im not going to sit around playing games and done with her.

Wednesday went out with a mate and some new girl around town, friend of a friend, anyway it turns out she likes being a wing woman and actually did an approach for us, I would have done it if I knew she was being serious, I was in for a relaxed night out.

So friday when its busier we're going to find each other dick and minge. Or hit on her instead, she's hot and would be easier.

Anyway I dont expect anybody to read any of this nonsense, Im always too tired and hungover to write eloquently and properly. Ill do a sum up of all that I've learnt being here, like a good boy.

Okay went out Friday and Saturday and did the "Put your number in my phone" line whilst out, it works, I got three numbers with each one texting me back but I left them as they weren't attractive. Quality control. I also did a few other approaches too without the line.

To add context these are nights out with my friends rather than sarge nights or even having a wing. Furthermore on Saturday I took an insane amount of MDMA (half a G) and somehow managed to chat up girls like that.

Also on friday I saw Ass-girl and we started speaking, we got on (hot n cold) and I said "Wanna do something tomorrow?", next day her phone doesnt ring but goes "Beeeeeeeeep" so come Sunday, she adds me on Facebook after having no contact with her and likes my next two statuses.

A silly thing to mention but I'm really like "WTF", I message her, chat for a bit and say she can stay at mine on Monday after the night out all the locals go to. She says "I could do".

I see her out and she just walks by like "Hi".

Fuck this, I just got two girls numbers in half hour. When I get home after Monday night I delete all the numbers I don't speak to or have finished and any girls off FB I was trying to 'pick-up' but didn't and just had them on there.

It was inspired by the links Kowalski posted, why the fuck would I want them as FB friends and texts/phone buddies? I wanted carefree fun and sex not "Hey wanna hang out tomorrow?", "Oh maybe" every time I ring them. I don't want friendship. I mean, hey, I'm a friendly guy but I'm not going to make friends with someone I had the intention of fucking, that's second best and I don't do that anymore.

I felt in power doing it, I might do it to a lot of people, just delete their numbers and FB and cut them out of my life.

On Monday night I was pretty sober in the club. Near the beginning, I got two girls numbers with "Put your number in my phone", both were attractive compared to Friday and Saturday when I was drunk/drugged pulling mingers (well not that ugly tbh I just find I don't have much motivation to go for less than attractive girls).

The problem with being sober in this club especially is it fucking sucks, its known for being a club you have to be 100% smashed in, to put in context; two of my friends were so drunk they couldn't properly speak, 3 of the girls were so fucked they were Superman'ing over a balcony where I ended up saving their lives through out the night and the other was back at home trying to get more drunk as he felt he was too sober to even look the club. . .and he was pretty battered already.

After the first two numbers, one which I opened with "Someone jizzed in my eye", from there I lost motivation to do anything, no competition with anyone, a friend did wanna do challenges but I felt they were one-sided and he wasn't setting realistic ones e.g. He only said for me to do approaches and not him with the approaches being the two 9/10 girls in the corner.

Sat down outside by myself for a while and got speaking to this cute blonde who seemed really interested in me; she kept the conversation going, didn't let go of my hand on the handshake, kept reinitiating the interaction. I left and didn't close, silly me, so when I saw her again I said "Ill be back" ran through the club:

Me:"Put your number in my phone"
Her: "Heyyyy, I have a boyfriend"
Me: "Is it serious?"
Her: "Ummm"
Me: "Yeah sounds great, put your number in my phone"
Her: "I can't!"
Me: How long have you been going out, is it proper?
Her: We haven't met yet
Me: What does that even mean, put your (etc)
Her: Ill see you around sorry.

Fucksake, confusing, always the ones who seem interested who never are. I dont care actually. Plenty more sluts in the sea.

Got speaking to an old school friend and we got flirting straight away, I could have taken her home I bet if I was in a more fun, horny mood. Either it was because I was sober or the fact I had three tugs that day on a comedown from the weekend that made me not close her.

I went home soon after.

This is something that has always annoyed me. A girl would be all over me upon meeting her, and after me not doing anything about it, I would go back over to her with ‘taking action’ in mind, and she would then make her excuses. All I can think here is that the moment had passed, and the window of opportunity has slammed shut. It kind of highlights the need to be present and live in the moment. Once you go over with an agenda it fucks things up.

maybe in Barneys case she just wanted company, nothing more.

It could be that, I just saw it as "Later on in the night I'll get her" like if her friends weren't around etc but I bailed on the club early.

One thing I've learnt is to stay to the club till the end, very end.

Jynx, you'd be too scared to do this shit.

You haven't even been in a club since February. I run this town.

Nah, she wanted a hot load all over her tits. Lesson learnt.