As the title suggests. 31, never had a girl friend, still a virgin.

My height (5"4) and looks probably go against me but I wouldn't say I'm completely ugly - say below average. If personality/confidence is the most important trait its maybe fair to say I'm lacking in self confidence/self-esteem but I'm not a nervous bumbling idiot. Everyone who knows me says I'm not shy and fairly outgoing. It's difficult to be super confident when you have a past with no success. I signed up for online dating a month and a half ago - got friends to vet my profile etc.......messaged 17 women so far, 0 have replied, 56 have viewed my profile......nothing.

I definitly can't do anything about my height, nor much about my looks if thats the problem so I've always figured its my confidence and personality I need to work on. I'm even seeing a therapist who practises CBT to try and change any negative thinking or limiting beliefs I have. I've read up on trying to be playful/funny/cheeky/flirting etc as well.

By my counting I've asked out/fancied 38 women in my life time......they've all said no. I've only ever successfully initiated a kiss with 3 women ever, the other times its always been the women.

Millions of men meet up/hook up with women every single day - I have a friend whos slept with over 40 women, another whos had about 12 girl friends...but me, 31 and nothing? Why am I so different? I really don't believe I'm that un-desirable.....but I'm beginning to wonder. There are some tings in life people will never do - be a professional sports player, get that job they wanted, have kids......is it also true to say that plenty of people will just live live forever single? Do a google search and you'll find plenty of stuff on men in their 50's & 60's totally single.

Its crazy how uncommon this is to the point its almost laughable. Should I just give up & accept it? Anyone got any ideas or experience with/met anyone similar who's turned this around?

Have to be honest and say I don't believe in 2Pick Up" routines, tricks & manipulation. Don't get me wrong - soe of the stuff is good and helpful, & I quite like the inner game side of it. I'd appreciate if you guys can try and respond to this with your PUA hat switched off - repsonses from guys who have had fair success with woman without really relying on "Game".

There's a lot more I could reply to this with regarding my life and thekind of person I am - I have a theory about this bvut this is already way too long so I'll leave it for now.

Only 38? I've probably asked more girls out in the past couple of months.

May I ask what you are actively doing with regards to progressing things with girls? It's all well and good getting therapy and mulling over the various things that may have held you back in the past, and what might help in the future, but are you going out and talking to girls right now?

Overall answer is no I'm not; its pretty difficult to do once you hit your thirties. People don;t go out and socialise in the same way. Of my 15 friends, 14 of them are attached, only 1 single. Thus as you get older, personal life and other commitments, especially when quite a few of them now have kids take priority. My days of going out on the town clubbing were long gone as far back as around 3-4 years ago, I'm only ever out now if its a specific occasion or social event, nobody goes out anymore just for the sake of it. My last night on the town was in february, we have a lads night out planned for October. Lately I've went to a few concerts, went to a festival, a few nights at the pub and some quiet evenings at a friends house.

Overall, I suppose you could say my opportunities of meeting woman are fairly limited, but thats not uncommon once you get to my age. in fact, I think I've only actually met 2 new woman this year - 1 of them is the girl I liekd in the friendzone thread I posted in this forum earlier which didn't go anywhere.

How the hell you've asked out over 38 woman in the last month is beyond me? Unless your just going out "sarging" and approaching as many woman as you can. I respect someones decesion to do this, but I also hope you can respect my thoguhts in that I don't agree with going out for the specific purpose of robotically running game on any target that walks by you during a day/night. Its just too fake and unreal for me. If i don't fancy them or like the look I simply can't just approach for the pure sake of it.

Stop showing off nova the guy has said he is still a virgin at 31 years old, so lay off (no pun intended)

As for you sir I don't recall in the 2 & a half years of posting on this forum anyone ever appearing to need the help as much as you.

You're not doomed to spend the rest of your life a virgin, because you have decided you're taking action. Richard La Ruina AKA Gambler never got laid until he was 26 when he "took action" so you're not alone.

An old friend of mine (not really a friend anymore so I specify the word old) is the type who probably WILL die a virgin as he is 27 & lives at home in his parents big house & plays the PlayStation all day long. He does work in a dead end job like, but has zero experience or skills with women & most likely won't. If he hadn't fucked me over a few years ago I'd send him a copy of the game but fuck him he deserves a copy of the 40 year old virgin.

And to quote the 40 year old virgin directly to you: "from here on in, your dick is MY dick, I'm getting you some pussy"


I said that on behalf of all the regular posters here on the forum, who I'm confident will guide you to your first taste of said pussy

Thanks for your response. There's a whole lot more I could have added to my initial post.....

But I'm 31 and unfortunatly i also stay with my Mum in her big house. I won't go into why as everyones circumstances are different, but the just of it is she's needed looking after since my Dad passed away & she's not worked since I was born; she relies on me for emotional and financial support. I plan to save a deposit & move out and its getting there but I'm looking at least at another year at home - its difficult to save for a house when your effecitvely paying for another one at the same time.

My jobs pretty good, I'm a career professional and pretty ambitious and driven career wise. As for socially? I'm an introvert. But not someone who hides at home and won't speak to anyone, I generally have no problem with conversation & as a result of beingin a large extroverted male group have a few extrovert qualities. But being the centre of attention, totally dominant, loud outgoing guy? Thats not me.

I'll leave this without going off at a tangent so other posters can reply to the main parts above for now. Again, I'll cotinue to be honest about PUA; I dont believe half of what Gambler says (my opinion though). I went on a PUA training boot camp about 4 years ago and met him and don't believe for a minute he's a "master PUA", nor do I believe these weekyl emails & stuff in his autobiography/books about all these woman. I think its all merketing gimmicksd and for show to sell his business - each to their own, and of course I could be wrong, but thats my opinion.

That's a tough situation man, it sounds like you have a lot of pressure on you.

This is gunna sound off topic but bear with me. I've just started watching the Sopranos from the beginning because I never have, I've just finished episode 2 & in it Tony encourages his mother to go to a retirement community (not a nursing home) where she will be looked after & gain new friends etc. Maybe it's something you would consider looking into as it seems you have a lot on your plate, & there is support out there, has your mum got any home help or are you doing all of it yourself?



As for gambler, he is actually my facebook friend, & yes it is definitely him.

He uploads new pics regularly of birds he's pulled, & posts them in an album titled "girls girls girls", & I am talking about absolutely perfect to-die-for ladies. He's in Russia at the minute & appears to be banging lots of smoking hot Russian girls.

I'm short too. I'm 25 but the ages of the girls I've been with over the past year go from 18 to 32. I'm also wouldnt call myself 'the centre of attention, totally dominant, loud outgoing guy' but I do well enough to be pretty content now. My brother was actually a virgin till 27, got laid for the 1st time in march and now he's got himself a nice girlfriend. I know guys who are 33 and go out, they've gotten to a point where they do really well with girls and are happy with it. You're capable of doing it. I get that it must be tough mate. But dont judge yourself relative to where your mates are. Ultimately it's your life, who cares about what other people are doing? Do your own thing, it's all about you man.

A big thing you take from doing this sort of thing is you realise how random it all is. There are hundreds of random factors beyond your control that can determine how this sort of thing can go. 17 messages without a reply on a dating site is no big deal. Neither is getting a no from 38 women. It doesn't say or mean a damn thing about you as a person. I doubt there's anyone experienced on here who hasnt gone up to at least 38 women and not had it work out in their time.

With that in mind you shouldn't see going out, approaching and chatting with girls as a big deal. If there's some chemistry with someone then great. If it doesnt go well, then hey whatever. There's more women out there than you could ever get your head around.

I feel for your situation man, it must be tough. But dont let it get you down, and dont be so hard on yourself. Good luck dude.

I’m 33, so know exactly where you are coming from here. I rarely hit the clubs any more, and if I do, it’s purely for the music.


Think about what other ways there are to meet girls, the clubs are not the be all and end all. I tend to go to art events and music events a lot, and there are always plenty of interesting girls there who I tend to meet. So, what interests do you have?


I don’t approach as many women as I can, or just for the sake of it. If I was out on a Saturday afternoon in town I’d probably approach between 5-10 girls. Generally a couple of these girls I really vibe well with as they dress a certain way or are into something interesting. I don’t see what might be fake about this, but I understand if you find it unreal. It was unreal to me for so long. Now it is quite normal.

BS might be a good idea to change your opinions on meeting girls.

The more you approach, the more chances you have. Nova was right when he said "He's approached more in a month". That's what it comes down to, having balls, going for it and putting the numbers and time in.

Now to the important questions.

Where do you live?

What days/nights are you available?

How much effort are you willing to put into it?

Learning this shit is easy, it just requires time, balls, an honest evaluation of yourself and a boner.

Hi mate, welcome to the forum, you've mentioned that you don't agree with the whole approaching for the sake of it, and whilst to a certain extent I agree but there's a whole different side to it.

Often I remember that I would use the excuse that a girl didn't do anything for me as a reason not to approach, often lying to myself so I was already conning myself out of an opportunity before even trying.

Approaching, and sparking up a conversation with somebody even if you don't want to gets you out of your comfort zone and gets you a little more au fait with speaking to somebody you don't know and over time you grow some balls so that when you see somebody that you really do have an attraction to your not too scared to go up and say hi.

And don't be ashamed or embarrassed about the situation your in, we all start somewhere! Know who you are, and who you want to be, the most important thing is that you put your all into it.