I was actually highlighting the fact that he is forming a bad opinion of himself off a relatively small number of girls. Stein summed it up better.

Why do you have this big thing about "31"?! im 31 just moved to a completely new city to me not knowing anyone at all apart from my parents who I have to live with again. So what your mates are all settled down a lot of my old mates are to but going out you can make new ones!! I go out a lot now am making new friends and meeting new girls. Its not difficult in your 30s, girls in their 20s go for guys in their 30s more than younger guys. Trust me theres loadsa guys in their 30s out also having fun and meeting women.


You seem to have a lot of pre conceived ideas about "game" people in the game and how to meet women.
How do you expect to get good with women with out going out and talking to lots of women?
I think the best thing for you to do is throw out all your ideas that you have and open up to new ones with a open mind

watch this I found it recently it might help you
How Rising From A Prison Of Depression / Social Anxiety / Negativity Is Like Crawling From A Pit - YouTube

Download "rsd foundations" it was such a big help for me at first.

Try small changes, take small actions to start with but take action!

Remember this isn't a guiness advert good things DONT come to those who wait!!!

once u reach a certain age as a virgin u get put in the weird zone.

so u cant mention it. Go get a prozzy... get rid of the stigma.

and start approaching anything with a pulse until u are cool with speaking to women.

then come back for more advice.

Thanks for all the replies, its appreciated. I don't have the patience to neatly copy & paste/edit & quote everyones comments properly so I'm just going to band together all my responses to the individual posters in this post (this will be quite big probably).

dan300

I could write an entire topic about my Mum. To keep it short & simple: She suffers from social anxiety & mild-medium depression intermittantly for at least 15 years. Our house needs some medium term level work done; the idea was when my Dad passed away we'd sell this 5 bedroom house and both get our own places. But truth is she doesn't have the mentality, determination or will power to go through the whole process of fixing up, selling, finding & moving into a new house. It only became apparant to me this year after trying so hard to get things moving the last 7 years. My sister came to this realisation long ago, but i realised this year she;ll never move because its just too much for her to handle. We could have everything done with hard work in a year but the rate sjhe;s going at it would take her about 5 years (or TBH never). Me & my sisrter have given up benging our heads against brick walls to help her - so now we just support her as we can, no point trying to help someone who continually resists. She's lived off my Dads pension fine until November 2011 it got cut by 60%, so right now I pay her the excess she;s missing from that in addition to my own outgoings - hence my slow savnig for a deposit


Stein

My height has honestly never bothered me. I'm 5"4 but I don't really notice it in the mirror, maybe how tiny I am is blatently obvious in photos. The only times it really bothers me is when I'm standing next to folk who are 6" +, or when I'm shopping for clothes! However - it IS a well known fact woman tend to favour tall men & not midgets. Without being superficial tie in my lack of height with my below average looks puts me at a huge disadvantage from the beginning (although when I look in the mirror I actually a lot of times think I look pretty hot - but truthfully thats not the case). I agree to do your own thing and not conmpare to others - but its difficult when I'm the only person I know who has this issue.

In terms of online dating I'm not overly fussed by it; again I really do think looks come into it, but its also a huge numbers game. A female friend of mine on the same site has had 227 guys message her in the last 5 months and she;s only replied to 4 of them.....another girl i know had about 60 messages in a month and she's pretty average looking. Women get more messages then they can deal with & I'm competing with hundreds of other guys...so its cool. In terms of 38 physical no's...well thats just really bad though! I'm so frustrated about the last one, the girl I posted in this forum in the frinedzone post...honestly think i was so close with her. but a combination of factors being she admits she has super high standards (thus she's going to be looking for an extremely hot guy which I'm not), I reclon she's emotionally scarred and afraid to commit to guys as a result of bad history & she's a 60 hour a week workaholic means it would never have worked out regardless of how insanely compatible we are.

Nova

Interests would be general socailisnig with friends, cinema, concerts, poker, general internet, physchology, reading. I@d also like to join a gym but not got there yet. I went speed dating once and absolutely loved it. Not going for the sake of meeting someone but because I knwo it forces me to sit & speak with a girl for at least 3 minutes and I did take confidence from it.

Fair enough if you don't approach just for the sake of it; but 5-10 girls on a Saturday alone, really?? If you said 1-3 that would sound more normal. Diifficult to portray your emotion over text on an internet screen but I'm not trying to have a go or be a dick, guess I just look at it differently. I'd struggle to find 5-10 girls in a year I'm probably inrterested in, so far theres only really been 2 this year I've really liked. There's plenty of girls I've met and thought were really hot that I'd love to get intimate wiith purely on a physical scale, but in terms of actually liking them for more than looks that would be a no. Thinking back there's onyl 3 woman I;ve ever met i could honestly see myself in an LTR with.

You honestly think 38 is a low number?? if your saying it shoudl be higher then thats insane! So if I asked out say 50 women and get 1 response that wouild be good? Thats an insane amoutn of effort to get 1 successful result. May i ask of the high number (say 38 for example) you've interacted with in the last month, how many number/Kisses/sex/dates etc did you get from those? I'm not being arsey questioning this, I'd politely genuinly want to know.

Shahanshah

Your right, I probably should change my opinion on how to meet girls. Thats fine if approaching, approaching, approaching is what you need to do - but I'm sorry, I really can;t approach a girl just for the sake of it - it has to be someone I'm either curious about or physically attracted to. I've stood and spoke to women before I have no interest in or wasn't keen on before and the whole time in my head I'm just thinking about how quickly can I get out of this convo or make an exit! And theres no way I'll meet 38/10 of them in 1 month or a day. I live in Aberdeen, during the week is difficult for free time because of work so weekends would be best - not really sure where your going with this though?

I'm willing to put in effort yes - but it canlt be the 100% biggest thing I put all my energy into. I'm sure you'll read this and think "Oh well, guess your not serious about this". I am - but work, my Mum, home commitments and chores along with geenral socialsing and my own downtime its pretty difficult to sacrifice all that to devote my life to women, i hope that makes sense? But yes - this is something I'd like ti improve most definitly.

D!ce

I do get what you, Nova & other posters are trying to put across about approaching; hands up in the air I admit I'm probably thinking inward & pretty scewed about it. On the point of "lying to yourself a girl doesn't do anything for yo therefore I won't approach" - I don't lie to myself, if a girl doesn't do anything for me why would I approach?

However, your point about just randomly having convo's with people in order to gain confidence, so that when the tiem comes to talk to someone I'm really interested in when it matters does make a lot of sense.....but it does still seem kind of "fake" to me.

I'm not ashamed or embarrassed. The truth is I'm awful with women; its more frustrating and disapointing then anything else. I honestly refuse to believe I'm that undesirable! This sounds hilarious but theres this part of me that thinks if I put my mind to it i could probably get any girl i want if i really went for it (thats obviously untrue and not really a good way to think about it) but its true. This is going to sound like a broken record, but regardless of my personality/vibe/confidence - i really do think my height and looks have a lot to do with; women won't go for a guy they don't have any hint of sexual attraction for.

Lovefish

Whats the big deal about being 31 & never havign had sex or a relationship? The fact that most people lose their virginity around 16 + and begin dating in their late teens would be the main thing - the fact that 15/16 years later after that should have happened I've never done either of those things!

i do admittedly have pre-conceptions about Game. I'll probably stop talking in this manner; its probably not a good idea dissing it on a forum dedicated to it - thats why in my initial post i wanrted people to approach this from a non PUA angle. I've signed up to and sampled almost every "guru" or a product form them...all PUA literally is is a business to make money, the same stuff over ansd over again: "Buy this now, its something never seen before, it'll blow the PUa world to pieces and guarentee you get laid/never get rejected/always get a number with every single girl you meet. But we;re only making 5 copies of this and you have to buy it by midnight tonight. The whole value of this package actually retails at £10,000, but because we're really generous we'll give it to you for £19 and throw in about a million quids worh of bonuses absolutely free" - come on guys, really?? Do you really believe that Gambler only makes 300 copies of Stealth Attraction and once that 300 are sold, if he gets requests for another 300 he won't sell them? Do you really think if he gets another $40k of orders he's not going to honour it?

I went on a PUA training bootcamp about 4 years ago and can honestly say only 1 of the instructors had any game about him. No disrespect but ig gambler is meant to be a stud with woman, this instructor in my eyes made him look like a novice. Matt Hussey was also there & his motivational sppech was worth the full weekend price on its own - I was blown away by him admittedly. Could expand on what i experienced that weekend if needed, it wasnlt a total waste of money & I'm glad I went.

As i say, sorry for saying all of that...it isn't wise for me to come on a PUA forum and talk like this so I'll stop right now! There are some good things in game......but in my eyes all its really about is manipulating women by being a fake version of yourself so they will sleep with you, and to make money. I do like the inner game aspects of it though. I'll check that link later; you are 100% right I need to look at this differently, I don't deny that.

I could give blueprint decoded a try also. There's a whole lot mroe I could say here regarding my past, history with women, IMO some big reasons why I think nothings ever worked for me, affirmations & inner game work etc but this is probably the biggest post I've ever made on a forum and its already too much to read so I'll finish up for now.

Oh, and |i have given escorts a thought a fewe times.........I've obviously never done it. I'll leave it at that.

Thanks a lot for all yoru replies so far - its appreciated.

Cool man you're in a city. Weekends are fine and enough. Two times a week is a decent amount to learn this shit. You need to find wings to go out with. Scour all the puaforums you can find for wings. Realllllllllllly hammer down on finding and meeting them all.

Approaching in the club should mainly be about being social. So its not so much 'here comes the big approach' but an attitude you have whilst in there.

Find wings, push each other to speak to girls and field report and figure out where to go from there. Rinse repeat. Its as easy as that.

If you're in the city you can easily meet 38 girls you like the look of, I see more hot girls than that whilst Im down in my town of 20,000!!!!!!

Good luck man, Id be up for coming to Aberdeen and for a night out after the summer.

I have to say K's advice sounds damn harsh, but it is the straight dope.

My opinion-

- Yes your position is tough

My solution-

Talk more to people, all people, talk to strangers.

Be the instigator of conversations in public

"Busy innit?"
"nice day for it"

We encounter thousands of opportunities to interact with other people we don't know every day. Some people like doing this so they do it, some don't so don't, some never realise..



Rise like Lions after Slumber,
In unvanquishable number
Shake your chains to Earth
like Dew
that in Darkness had come upon you
You are many
They
are few

We now have proof that bootcamps might not turn you into Casanova over the course of a weekend. You should have complained, you could have watched a motivational speech on the internet for free.

If gambler was shit four years ago, he appears far from shit now. The girls he posts pictures with on facebook are supermodel material, & no it's not all show he is kissing them & gets shots of them in provocative positions & clothing etc.


Make a decision to change, or you'll still be in this situation in ten years when you're forty one.

Sorry man, but I've got to agree with K here, its a harsh truth but one you've got to come to terms with I'm afraid. We all have our demons and our obstacles in life, but what defines us as individuals is how we can adapt to overcome these. It's survival of the fittest, adapt or die.

I’ve heard this nonsense too many times before, and guess what? It’s always guys who don’t get laid who reel off this ‘I have high standards’ palaver. All you are doing, is protecting your ego. I bet you wouldn’t turn down a one night lay with an ‘average’ girl if she threw herself at you. I know I wouldn’t, especially if I hadn’t been laid in a while!


What you find insane or effort, is only relative to your reality, and where does that leave you? With no girls.

Of the 38 girls I’d met in the past couple of months on the streets? I have maybe kissed 7 of them and laid 3. Go back a year, when I started this process? Of the 38 women I met in the same period, I got absolutely nothing. So, you might ask, why didn’t I just give in then? Well, I guess I just wanted it too much, especially as I had just turned 32 years of age. Now I’ve grown to really enjoy the company of different girls and am learning about myself, as well as starting to get a better picture of what I want from the girls in my life. Read about my journey here for an insight: http://www.puaforums.co.uk/field-rep...game-back.html

If you want high quality girls to be handed to you on a plate, then you’re gonna be sorely let down again and again. I used to be incredibly scared of girls and remained quite shy and nervous when talking to them until not all that long ago (now it seems like a lifetime away). I do however still struggle with the hotter girls, mainly as I still don’t feel worthy, so will have to carry on working at this if I want to change things. It’s not just going to happen overnight though.

The serious question you must now ask yourself is, are you genuinely taking the right course of action in order to change what you don’t like about your life… or are you just drifting along allowing your past to dictate your current self?


Do this. Then, go out.

What I meant was that being 31 isn't a curse!! I understand that not having sex or a relationship is difficult for you.
I strongly suggest you take Phils suggestion get an escort you can pick a super hot one that you like and she will do pretty much what you want. That way you drop these virgin plates you seem to be carry around with you and you do better than most guys and not bang a yuck girl just to get laid haha
Yes I understand and totally agree with you on the whole money making best product bs that is and will always be around. That's not how and what I see "Game" its about me and my improvement internally and externally. I take from pua guys what I feel fits and ditch the rest. I don't buy any products anymore (only ever bought a few books) or would ever bother with a boot camp
.
You know women think like that about pua its about manipulating women into bed, for me its not at all. Its about improving myself to a point where women will happily sleep with me cos they get good feelings from it 2. Ive never ever fucked a women who hasn't enjoyed my company and enjoyed the sex. If they don't like you or feel manipulated they`ll tell you to fuck off!!
As for you comment about numbers yes you got to go and talk to 100 women and you might only get one, but you keep doing that for a prolonged period of time and you`ll get better and better numbers and results!! its time and practice mate. Your gona lose a lot before you get better trust me, don't take it personally!!
I had a similar thing to you unless a girl was perfect for me then I wouldn't bother with them, but what happened was because I didn't much talk to other women in general I sucked at picking them up and felt like shit. Occassionally I did get them (when your really into em your more on and forward) but it was and isn't yet at a consistent level that I want.
If you don't mind just from experience I will give you my opinion on you mum. I have a friend who had agoraphobia and her bf would run round and do everything for her all the time pay bills etc similar to you and your mum. She wouldn't go out at all. One day he had enuff and left her. She didn't know what to do and was distraught for a long while. But because he wasn't there to run round for her go shops for random crap, she started to face her fears and take lil trips out and do lil erands she could manage. She still panics today but is much better.
What im saying is you maybe helping feed you mothers problems by paying all her bills, paying her mortgage etc and its affecting your life. Have you thought of sitting down and having a long chat with your mum saying hey we cant cover the bills here!! I need to get on and do my own thing 2 yah know. I think if you got out she might have to pick herself up and start recovering from the loss of you father properly. Obv I don't mean boycott your mother but let her start standing on her own 2 feet again if you get me. Just my opinion mate I could be well wrong, just a suggestion that's all