I'm a Newbie

Recently I've noticed I'd become a bit slow and cumbersome with pulling chicks even though I hadn't realised any of the results I wanted to see from this endeavor. It was quite odd and left me feeling like I shouldn't have to 'try' as much as I should. The past few weeks have led me to feel like being a beginner again but with the confidence and experience of someone who's been at this for a year now. The enthusiasm, the 'lets do it!' attitude, the willingness to experiment with random ideas, behaviours and actions.

Its cool, Im even going to do lame exercises that you'd only expect someone who's started to get into this would do. One I'm doing is; actively approaching through-out the night. I've realised I often get tired and 'out-of-state' towards the end and sometimes do fuck all at the beginning. I wouldn't claim I have approach anxiety, but there's some ego shit going on where I don't approach enough.

And to be new things for the sake of doing them before I find them more natural and become 'unconscious competence' like the action of pulling. I should do it with the first girls I get an 'It's on' with during the night. 9/10 I always think "Ill find her later" and that never happens. RSD are liars about the whole 'meet them early and find them later', if you meet a girl and its on, stick in there no matter how awkward it gets.

One thing I often do is not go with a girl to her friends where I could easily just ask her friends if I can have her in a playful way. Whenever I have done this, it has always gone well.

So far in my head this is my game: Fun/Rapport + Escalating/Close. The more I go out the more I realise you have to FUCKING CLOOOOSE like persistent and dominating, overbearing as fuck. My little cousin, Jaz, was showing and telling me about how hard you have to go for the close last Saturday. Without sounding like a bummer, Jaz's advice is probably the best I've had on pulling in general. Every time he points something out or winging with him, it ups my game y'all. But no he's not my mentor because we are neither medieval knights or Ancient Greek philosophers.

Its also weird I'd rather spend an interaction grabbing and playing with a girls ass than making out with her, which is great because a lot of girls with BFs wont kiss but dont mind you running your index finger between their pillows.

Good post dude.

I'd admit I was and to some degree still am quite lax with closing, a "I'll do it later in the interation" way of thinking. It severely hampered me.

Saw an RSD video were Tyler was saying "just fucking close. Fucking clooooseee". And I was there thinking, 'this is exactly what Shah keeps telling me'. The next interaction I had a mental image come into my head of this fucking close video and Shah telling me to close. Hahahaa alright then. That was the start of me closing properly with intent.

I always say that to you because its my issue too, and I notice it in other people's posts and reports. My aim for this year is to become the best pua on this forum.

I'm approaching, opening and interacting well when I hit state but I'm usually too picky about who and when I approach at the beginning and don't escalate. It's usually quite late on in the night by the time I start approaching and I usually only do a few then stop.

I liked Tyler's concept of "small chunking" your way out of your head, e.g. by starting with lots of very short interactions early on and gradually building momentum. By late on in the night you can be like the red hot coal / bush fire and could pull in the last half hour. By that time though I'm often too pissed to pull anyway.

He also says "approaching should be your only measure of success". We shouldn't get to hung up on closing. And we shouldn't call it closing as it sounds too much like a sale. You've conveyed your personality to her, she's decided she likes you and wants to fuck you. All the rest is pumping her state and getting her out of there when you know it's on. Who cares if it's early on in the night, you just have to go for it.

I didn't know closing was a sales reference until a recently. Its a good term for what you're doing. Its not a PUA term either, lots of people use it in America.

You're measure of success should be looking back on your night and thinking "With what I am now I couldn't have done much better", approaching is easy so its a rather low bar to set for success.

I can see why it's been adopted for pickup. It's snappy. But I'm trying to avoid using terms now that imply you are taking something (closing the sale, i.e. getting someone to part with their cash, or in this case give you sex). You're not taking anything.

A big problem I had at the start was I didn't see that I had any value compared to the girls I wanted to approach. I'm managing to re-wire that to believe that my value is me and it's enough. The pickup is just getting better at putting that across.

The sex is a natural consequence of the interaction and she wants sex as much as you do. It either happens the same night or maybe some time later if you get the number. I don't want the idea that I'm taking anything into my reality. You're not taking value, you're giving it. Conversely you're not selling anything. You should also assume a positive response because you know your value even if she doesn't realise it yet. Your only giving her the opportunity to talk to you and find out.

I think he meant you will learn to get better with women from regular approaching, even if you're not trying to do anything else. If you don't approach nothing will happen. Success could be "I know a bit more about interacting with women than I did before that approach".

But I agree with what you're saying we do also think about where we are in progressing and how to improve. The best way is just to ease up and get in the flow and things progress naturally. Sometimes we think we are stuck when it's just the natural ups and downs you get when learning any new skills. The main thing is to keep going.

In fact when it seems like you're going backwards, that's usually a sign you need to put more effort in because the next jump in learning is just about to happen (that's an old DD tip).

Started Tinder and its great. Dates are piling up. At night my only real thing to focus on is staying in there, not leaving good leads 'to find later' which always never happens or getting the number. Fuck numbers man.

Got a good fuck buddy, coulda had another one but I ex-communicated her on the account of being too much work; feel like saying 'you know I could find a girl to fuck easily you're not my one shot at banging'. Need to get out more at night whilst im at uni. Get my game tight and dick wet.

I'd never had that much success with Tinder, though admittedly I didn't put a great deal of effort in and the openers were pretty weak.

Not sure where I'm going with this...

I've never used tinder, how does it work? Seems like your getting good success on there dude. Well done.