Broadswords Thread

[Serendipity]

It's easy to overthink things and feel overwhelmed (curling up in a ball). Then you avoid thinking about them, or conveniently forget, come up with excuses, etc. You develop an avoidance strategy for dealing with it. I know this can go on for years because I've done it myself. But if you just pick out one thing and completely focus on that it can get you going, then the other things start to seem a bit more manageable, or at least not so intimidating.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Originally Posted by Serendipity

It's easy to overthink things and feel overwhelmed (curling up in a ball). Then you avoid thinking about them, or conveniently forget, come up with excuses, etc. You develop an avoidance strategy for dealing with it. I know this can go on for years because I've done it myself. But if you just pick out one thing and completely focus on that it can get you going, then the other things start to seem a bit more manageable, or at least not so intimidating.

Thats what I've been doing.

To be honest, putting woman to one side for a moment, my number 1 priority should be to get a new job. I'd also like to really try & stop smoking. Some of the other stuff I can perhaps try to do in the background or along side it.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Saturday 30th November

Was out for a friends birthday. He (deliberatly) goes round the skankiest bars and does a harbour pub crawl which is a bit rough all in the aid of having a laugh, not my idea of fun but went along anyways.

In 1 bar my leather jacket became the topic of conversation. I often get likened to Tom Cruise (I look nothing like him) although I am short and i had a leather biker jacket on. My friends were asking if I'd left my bike outside, where was my aviators & was goose joining us later, all a bit of fun. Ridiculously "You've lost that Loving Felling" happened to be a song choice on the jukebox, somebody put it on.....my friends alll circled me & started singing it....and eventually the whole bar joined in...

When the song finished, one of my friends got chatting to a girl at the bar asking "Have you ever met Tom before? He flies jets for a living, if you want a guy to sweep you off your feet he's your man." I was feeling a bit overwhelmed after the singing but I got speaking to her with some Top Gun references before she left with her friend. "Lady in Red" was the next song on the jukebox & some guy whisked a girl in red from our group up for a dance. Randomly, a lot of women in the bar were wearing red and my mates were shouting at them saying "There's another one/Lady in Reeedddd!". 2 girls walked in, one of whom I thought was hot, they walked in at the same time as the Lady in Red stuff and also birthday boy spewing into a pint glass. I went over to them & said "Bet you guys are wondering what you've just walked into, whats 2 fine ladies like yourselves doing in a place like this?". They both laughed and we got chatting, I tried to be a bit flirty, put my arm round them and did some small amounts of kino (which felt weird) and gave each one a hug and kiss on the cheek introducing myself. The hot one seemed to be lapping it up...until i noticed the engagement ring on her finger. I just carried on and they eventually escused themselves to go to the toilet.

Another bar we were at, a heap of female students were collecting money for their hockey team. They were younger but i just went inbetween them all and started chatting, I had my arm round 2 of then as we were speaking and they didn't seem to mind. It was clear they were in a hurry to move on so i donated a couple of quid and let them go.

Come the next bar, more (different) students fund raising. One of them came up to me & she was pretty hot to explain she was fund raising etc. I said to her "I see how this works, you come in here with your nice straight blonde hair and your sparkly ear rings looking all hot in that hockey top and I'm supposed to go weak at the knees and empty my wallet into your box, you think thats going to work on me?" She laughed and said not at all & I told her it was kinda working. I got chatting & was trying to be flirty (she was freaking hot), put my arm round her, introduced myself and gave her a kiss on the cheek. We were speaking for quite a while and I found kino-ing with her was fine, she ddn't seem creeped out and was touching me back. I got pretty close and although I've read your not meant to lean in, it was loud in the bar so i used leaning in as an excuse to have an arm round her and also touch her hair as I kept moving it away from her ear to talk to her. I asked her if they were just collecting money all night & she said no they'd be going for drinks afterwards...so i took out my phone and told her she should put my number in her phone so I can catch her later. She did, gave me her number i then (feeling a bit awkward & nervous) gave her a kiss on the lips and she left.

In the same bar saw a blonde girl sitting on a double seat, i went over & sat with her & asked why she was sitting on her own, she told me she was waiting for her bf. I carried on chatting but she wasn't really taking me on, and then told me I should probably leave before her bf came back. I did, and then he came back and was fuckign huge so I'm glad i left.

In another bar, saw a hot brunette at the bar with huge tits, i went over to talk to her but before I got there a group of guys went over and spoke with them and they evnetually left together. By this point it was home time, me and a friend went to a kebab shop for food.

There were some girls in the kebab shop laughing and messing about, i turned to my mate kinda loudly and said "We've been out all night....no woman, then we come in here and its full of hotties? Never realised they all hung out in kebab shops" They laughed, we had some banter whilst waiting for food but by this point I was pretty boozy, slurring my words and tired so i kinda was on a slump and couldnt think of much to say, but we got on fine. Then I went back with my friend to his girl friends before going to sleep.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Looking back I can't honestly believe all that happened. All the woman i approached were ones i thought were hot, none of it was for "practise". I (tried to be) fairly direct and none of them seemed to mind and all went ok, apart from the girl witht he boyfriend.

I never really had any AA at all.....I can't explain why, i felt in a pretty relaxed mood the whole night. Kino-ing was weird, putting my arm round their shoulder or waist is fine, but the other touching just doesn't feel right - except with the girl who's number I got.

Ooh - would these be my first "result" since coming on here? I got a number! i could maybe have even made out with her. I only just remmebered I got her number so I've just text her but no reply yet.

That's just weird......none of that was difficult at all. I think what helped was that i was attracted to all of them in some way and I just tried to be direct without fannying around. I feel pretty awesome today!

My mates girlfriend who told me I'm not shy and I'm not bad looking & that I should just go for it, the only thing I'm missing is confidence and that personally when she's out she knows fine when guys are talking to her she knws they are hitting on her/want to sleep with her so she'd much rather prefer if they were just upfront about it, she said when guys try to dance around it it comes across as weird, almost like they are lying to her.

Tjhat was a pretty awesome night and i feel amazing right now, maybe this direct stuff actually works! Still not really comfortable with kino-ing...and i think i was quite lucky I didn't have any bad interactions other than the girl with the bf, I don't know how I'd react or how it would affect me if one of them went really bad.

[SmileyK]

Originally Posted by BroadswordWSJ

Still not really comfortable with kino-ing

You won't be when you refer to it like that! But I guess it's something you will have to practise until it becomes natural

[BroadswordWSJ]

Tuesday 10th of December

Not PUA related at all, but I'm absolutely over the moon today! Just been offered a job I never thought I would get! Hefty pay rise & the most reputable company in the city that are in my line of business!

I had thought the interview had gone pretty well apart from maybe speaking a bit fast & rambling a bit but hadn't heard anything in 2 weeks so assumed the worst. The manager interviewing me had been off on business & the HR manager was sick so that's them just getting back to me now. They said it was pretty much a cert they were going to offer me it & they thought the rambling was a good thing as it showed I had plenty of knowledge about the job.

Just waiting for them to send me the contract/documents to read over before I put my notice in here. I feel amazing, can't remember the last time I was this happy! Felt almost euphoric & pure joy when I got off the phone with them earlier!

I spent all this time too scared to apply for jobs because I thought no one would employ me, and I apply for 2 jobs and get offered both (I turned the other down)! Not bad 2/2 offers for first interviews in 9 years! Looking back that was so stupid to be scared to apply.

In some ways I can relate this to women. It's taken me this long to realise my looks & height aren't the issue; my confidence & esteem is. Both of these have just taken a huge shot through the roof after getting this offer, I wonder if its the same with women. Without being results orientated, maybe all I need is some positive interactions or results of some kind to get me going......which I won't get by doing nothing.

[D!ce]

Congrats mate! And absolutely, the whole game thing isn't just for picking up women the increase in self esteem and body language relate to a whole load of other life interactions.
Be awesome.

[nova]

Originally Posted by BroadswordWSJ

Without being results orientated, maybe all I need is some positive interactions or results of some kind to get me going......which I won't get by doing nothing.

Moving forward, ladieswise, what action do you feel is now necessary in doing something about obtaining these reference experiences?

[Serendipity]

yah great news about the job man. But don't forget the work / life balance. You'll need to divide your energy as appropriate between doing this new job and continuing to build your social muscles and meeting women.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Originally Posted by nova

Moving forward, ladieswise, what action do you feel is now necessary in doing something about obtaining these reference experiences?

I need to start being more direct, honest, forward and showing sexual intent. Doing that sounds pretty straight forward in my head. But its not easy when I have no past experience of it & obviously I'm a sexual novice with the ladies so its fair to say I lack a bit of confidence to do this.

As I put in my FR couple of weeks back I tried this for the first time & I didn't feel nervous at all nor did I have any bad reaction......I even "number closed". (She's not replied to any of my messages but who cares - still a close). I was in a weird mood that night, I felt pretty care free and indifferent which helped. Admittedly normally i'd be nervous or get stuck in my head.

I guess the only way to get better at is to keep doing, learn from any rejections or negatives and store the positives for future confidence/reference? And the only way I'll get positive experiences form it is to keep doing it I guess. The one thing I'm wary of is what happens when I have a negative experience.

Directly going up to a girl in a bar and saying I like her jacket, you look hot in it or whatever and then beginning to touch them within a few mins of talking to them feels pretty weird.