Go Back   PUA Forums - The UK's Leading Pick-up Artist Forum > Pickup Forums > Field Reports


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
(#1)
Old
MASTER PUA
 
Default 16-07-2013, 05:36 PM

Figured I'll start one of these just to post stuff in.

I'll start off with what prompted my main post in the PUA Chat forum: a meetup with a girl I've always liked in January. I know it was months ago, but feedback or thoughts on this would be appreciated.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brief history: I met this girl 9 years ago & always liked her. "Asked her on a date" once only to realise she didn't realise it was a date nor did she realise I fancied her as she met her bf that night and made out with him. She moved away and we saw each other sparingly over the years, exchanging random texts. I tried to get her to meet with me multiple times with no success. There was one night I'm 99% sure she came onto me and offered it to me on a plate in a club and I was so nervous i didn't do anything....

We started texting a lot over last Xmas/New Year & I always try to be flirty with her. She started suggesting we should meet up which is very unlike her.

In January theres a story about a couple emailing each other filthy chat in their work place. The women accidently forwards the email to a co-workers announcing the sandwich van has arrived at lunch time, and the story goes all around the city & facebook (known as the sandwich van story) to much hilarity.

I text her asking "Not sure if your up to mcuh today but do you fancy a sandwich van? I'm starving!" She replies in hysterics saying she couldn't believe that email, and that her friend cancelled on her for drinks today. She's so bored with nothing to do and could "definitly be done with being rescued from boredom!!!" I reply taking it further pretending I wasn't referencing the email & that all I wanted was to go for a sandwich. She replies telling me to stop joking around & says "Well, going for a sandwich van isn't really the rescue i was looking for :P" I assume she's dropping hints, then tell her she should meet me for a drink if her friend cancelled...she agrees to meet me in a few hours.

So we meet & have food, I decide to be spontaneous and have fried Pigeon but I struggle to eat it and she finds this funny, as well as some banter with the waitress which goes down well. I realise when we come to split the bill that I must have went to the ATM, withdrawn money and then probably because i was a bit anxious about meeting her walked off and not picked it up...but I manage to roll with it and laugh it off and she again finds this funny, she pays the whole lot but won't accept my money back when I eventually get to another ATM.

We spend the next 3 hours in a bar REALLY connecting....finding we have so much in common which is quite scary & I begin to realise despite liking this girl for the best part of 8 years I probably never really knew her. We talk about gym, work, sex, relationships. I let her ask any question about me and she asks if 2 of our friends we know were the only ones left on Earth, which would I go for. I think she's talking about sex so choose the more party girl of the 2 only to realise she meant as a soul mate, in that case I choose the other girl, our friend who introduced us who's more a settled down type and she seems pleased. We talk more about the difference between people you would love to just sleep with ona night out & what you really look for long term. She asks me more questions where she gives me a choice between 2 answers and i always seem to pick the right one....and they seem strangely related to her (example, she asks if my preference is short brunettes who are naturally pretty without relying on makeup...which is what she is and I agree...) We also hit it off talking about Top gun & Rocky as they are our favourite films and how neither of us like old films.

I end up telling her some personal stuff, She tells me how she was bullied at School & prefers smal groups to large crowds (I'm the same for both) & she then tells me shes quite shy/introverted and puts up barriers between her & people & it takes her a while to warm up to them. During this i hold her hand & comment on what she said in an understanding way and after this there's quite a few moments where I'm still holding her hand and we're not really talking....just smiling at each other with eye contact. We've also been talking so much we barely touch our drinks, and have given each other 100% attention, no mobile phones or anything in the way. I honestly feel like we totally connected throughout huge parts of that.....never felt that before it was pretty uplifting. She then goes t the toilet.

When she comes back things take a nose dive. All the enrgy and connection vanishes & i feel a bit nervous & convo is strained. There's a few long silences, which I later find out doesn't phase her, i suggest we get more drinks or shots to liven it up but she declines shots. We eventually move to another bar, and i put my arm around her waist and hold her hand on the way - she doesnt knock me off. This new bar has booming loud music and its pretty difficult to talk, again there's no energy & I feel awkward, although I try to have my arm round her at times etc trying to take advantage of the fact we have to lean into each others ears to speak because its so loud.

In my awkwardness there's a 15 minutes spell where I just act weird, I can't think of anything to say and she even says I'm acting a "bit odd". I try to explain i feel things took a nose dive & i was worried she wasn't enjoying herself, she looks puzzled and says i worry about things too much. She tells me im acting cryptic and its difficult for her to talk to me if I dont explain what im thinking saying. I eventually pull myself out of the slump and we get into more small talk & laughs, then its time to leave.

Again I take her hand and have my arm around her on the way to the taxi queue, its freezing by this point with rain and battering wind. The taxi queue is pretty long and as we stand in it, i pull her to me and we hug for quite a while as the wind is battering our faces; she rests her head into my shoulders and holds onto me tighter. She then asks me why i was acting so weird earlier.....perhaps stupidly I reply that perhaps we'd been out too long together (8.5 hours) & I was getting tired. She gets snnoyed at this saying she doesn't undersrtand as we'd spent the whole night talkign fine and if the night felt that long was I getting bored of her company! I re-assure her thats definitly not the case. We end up having our heads together, and with the wind smackng her hair into her face I move it away and look down at her, we're almost close enough to kiss which prior to the nose dive point I was pretty confident of doing at some point....she looks at me with a meek smile then sticks her head back into my shoulder. I start chatting to a girl behind us, i have a laugh with her & my girl also laughs at this, but eventually she turns my head away from this girl and buries her head into me again. The taxi comes, we get it to hers and I give her a kiss & hug goodbye and onward to my place and the night is over.

I know I have to let this go; its in the past. But some simple questions from you guys who are more experienced with women:

1. She's not great with strangers yet she was quite keen to come out. The fact she was asking me all those probing questions and it seems like she described herself to me when guessing my ideal women.....was she interested?

2. End of the day I got nervous toward the end......I have this sickening feeling i blew the whole thing by not going for a kiss in the taxi queue and my chances with her died when we got in the taxi. Would the whole thing have fizzed out purely because I didnt make a move?

Thats assuming she even was interested, I dunno. The vibe kinda started dropping at the end of the night so much maybe the kiss was never on...I have a bad feeling i could have had something with her and blew it.

Last edited by BroadswordWSJ; 12-02-2022 at 08:52 AM.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote

Don't like ads? Register a free account to make them go away forever.

(#2)
Old
Shahanshah's Avatar
MASTER PUA
 
Default 16-07-2013, 06:00 PM

Kowalski had a great post about what you need.

Its not about getting advice for specific girls and 'what happeneds' , and still much less so about this situation or technique.

Its more about mindsets, attitudes, lifestyles, the broad strokes of the action you take.

That will get you a lot further, look at Nova's field report thread as to me, it seemed like his growth and success changed as he changed his mindset or took general action rather than working on anything specific.

An example would be by telling every hot girl that you think so. Or to decide to go out and chat up girls instead of "Im going to work on Mindy at the work do" or the absolute worst one which is "ill work on opening/negs/tease/" any other completely tiny, unimportant thing during the night out.

Also theres a great way to find out if she likes you. Go get her now. Ring her up and meet up, somewhere you can be alone quickly e.g. near your house.

You never need to ask people if its still on or does she like me as you can always find out, by having a go!

Good luck on your journey, go out and kill it!


Know Thyself.

Have fun.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
MASTER PUA
 
Default 16-07-2013, 06:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shahanshah View Post
Kowalski had a great post about what you need.

Its not about getting advice for specific girls and 'what happeneds' , and still much less so about this situation or technique.

Its more about mindsets, attitudes, lifestyles, the broad strokes of the action you take.

That will get you a lot further, look at Nova's field report thread as to me, it seemed like his growth and success changed as he changed his mindset or took general action rather than working on anything specific.

An example would be by telling every hot girl that you think so. Or to decide to go out and chat up girls instead of "Im going to work on Mindy at the work do" or the absolute worst one which is "ill work on opening/negs/tease/" any other completely tiny, unimportant thing during the night out.

Also theres a great way to find out if she likes you. Go get her now. Ring her up and meet up, somewhere you can be alone quickly e.g. near your house.

You never need to ask people if its still on or does she like me as you can always find out, by having a go!

Good luck on your journey, go out and kill it!
Thanks. I know I need to change my mindset - got a link to this post?

No, this is definitly over. I've seen her a few times since, cinema and we've text a lot. She's not stupid, she knows I like her, it was 7 months ago.

I just want to know if I blew it by inaction and from what I've written there was a realistic chance things could have gone further. This whole thing is the driver behinsd me wanting to change - I don't ever want to let that hapen again.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to BroadswordWSJ For This Useful Post:
Shahanshah (16-07-2013)
(#4)
Old
Shahanshah's Avatar
MASTER PUA
 
Default 16-07-2013, 09:07 PM

Here is the post

http://www.puaforums.co.uk/seduction...ishing-xx.html

There was a good collection of great posts from this forum but i cant remember where it is, will find it for you.


Know Thyself.

Have fun.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
dan300's Avatar
MASTER PUA
 
Default 16-07-2013, 11:53 PM

I'm pretty sure you did blow the chance a couple of times that night.

Looking into each others eyes while holding hands etc, none of that needs an analysis. As I read it I was thinking "GO, fucking kiss her"

Along with all the talk about relationships & sex & stuff, guys with experience would own it.

You can't be too hard on yourself though. I've missed out out on dozens of guaranteed lays over the years through being more interested in drugs.

Don't keep thinking about it, it's over, it's done, it's gone.


You can't win if you don't play
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
MASTER PUA
 
Default 21-07-2013, 06:28 PM

Saturday 20th July

I was at a friends BBQ/Housewarming. There was around 30 people there, of which 3 were single woman. One of them a good friend, the other is known as a bit of a "bike" & the other I don't know too well.

I dunno if its because I'm a bit introverted, but I wasn't even in the mood for going along. Maybe it had something to do with staying up far too late the night before. I was there for about 5 hours before gratiously accepting a lift home.

I didn't really have that many meaningful conversations, all I could think about was getting home for most of the day. A few things I've realised from this are:

1. I really need to get out of my own head and try and enjoy myself during the present moment. No wonder I come across as so uptight.

2. There was a point where me and the single girl were sitting along talking for quite a bit, just general chit chat. I should really have put more effort into the conversation....but I just wasn't in the mood. At one point we both realised we were close to being in the same city for somethign next month & she looked slightly disapointed we would miss each other - i should have pushed here for better conversation or even her number but it never even occured to me until i got home.

3. Not PU reletaed, but i missed a good opportunity in general to socially converse with others and expand my conversation skills.

Overall, I think any kind of change with me is going to take quite some time - this is in total contrast when I was out talking to random strangers in town a couple of weeks back - i was a lot more positive and outgoing whereas yesterday i was pretty negative, not in the mood, and missed an opportunity to push my comfort zone with that girl.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
D!ce's Avatar
MASTER PUA
Space Invaders Champion, Typing Test Champion
 
Default 21-07-2013, 07:30 PM

No massive amount of change is going to come overnight and not without a great deal of effort. You're making positive steps though, you've become aware of the journey required and you've begun to step outside your own mindset and observe your attitude. Keep at it mate.


“A problem can not be solved from the same logical level it was created.”
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to D!ce For This Useful Post:
BroadswordWSJ (21-07-2013)
(#8)
Old
MASTER PUA
 
Default 02-08-2013, 04:06 PM

Saturday 27th July

Bit difficult to remember all of this as was almost a week ago (I should really try and update these more quickly).

I nipped into town during the day for a few things & tried to take the opportunity to talk to more people as I went about my day, however I was in a bit of a hurry so was more focused on getting what I needed and getting home.

I spoke to a girl in John Lewis when looking for a shirt and commented on her pretty bright flowery dress and told her I liked it and that not many women would pull that off but she gets away with it because she is hot. Yeah.......I said that, not like me at all, it just came out during the convo and I had a total cringe moment and felt mega awkward. But she laughed, went a bit red and said "I bet you say that to all the girls you meet". We spoke a bit more and it wasn't till she turned to one side I saw the engagement ring. Never mind. We spoke a bit more which was pretty light hearted, probably for about 5 minutes.

Spoke briefly with the girl serving me in Boots, initially she over charged me then kept putting my card in the reader the wrong way so I joked that she was trying to rip me off then deliberately putting my card in wrong because she didn't want me to leave & wanted me to hang around and she thought it was quite funny.

Saw 2 random folk walking through our main shopping centre dressed as Darth Vader & a Storm Trooper so I shouted "Don't think you'll find the droids your looking for in here". He took his toy light sabre out and came at me, randomly the storm trooper gave me his........and I stood in a shopping centre having a play light sabre fight with a random guy in a costume with loads of folk looking on, before getting a photo with them & leaving.

Was served by a cute Irish girl with awesome glasses at the optician and its probably my worst experience of trying to talk to someone (since I came on this forum) so far - couldn't get a word out of her. just yes/no answers, no smile......nothing. She was just literally focused on her job. Oh well......

In the evening I had a party, can't really remember much as the drinks were pretty cheap, and thuus pretty smashed (woke up at 6am, fully clothed with my shoes, under my covers with the TV & light on and a sandwich stuck to my face...) but what I do remember is socialising without a care in the world. I deliberately made a point of meeting and greeting all the females there (99% of them all friends or partners of friends) with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Wednesday 31st August

Nothing really major here but something interesting to me. Was out for a meal to say farewell to friends who live abroad back briefly for visiting. Again, greeted my female friend with a hug & a kiss on the cheek. At the end of the night I got huge big hugs goodbye and a kiss on the lips (she's married) with her husband joking looks like she wants to go home with me instead of him - she played along and kissed me again; it was all in total fun.

The reason I put that in is I've always had this fear that whenever I greet/close proximity etc with woman I have this fear they will recoil/think I'm ugly/push me away etc - it probably stems from being bullied by girls when I was younger. I've also always been aware whenever I even go in for a friendly hug and kiss on the cheek its ME who gets really nervous in fear of any of the above happening. It never has since School, and that would be around 8 women if not more I greeted in the same way those 2 days with nothing bad happening.

Even more so my married friend... I know its all friends etc but maybe I'm not really that grotesque after all.......and all this stuff is all in my head. I think the big problem I have is all in my head and the only thing holding me back is me. Probably lack of self confidence/self esteem and a poor image of myself, this is something I'll start a topic about later as I think its quite important. I'm also out again tomorrow shopping/socialising so I'll try update quicker.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
MASTER PUA
 
Default 25-08-2013, 06:23 PM

As a general update:

Guess I've kind of "forgotton" about trying to improve myself with woman the last couple of weeks; I've had a few social activites on with friends and within that group all the females are either taken or really good friends where nothing would ever happen. However, i have stumbled upon something:

I'm not sure where this came from, but I've started showing gratitude toward people, being a bit more humble, letting my guard down and genuinly showing an interest in others. The results have been mental.

I've had texts from 14 different people, male & female over the last fortnight. FB comments and notifications etc, its a bit over whelming.

I'm ashamed to admit, beginning to ralise I'm a very selfish inward person. For some reason i have a big ego and I'm a perfectionist. These aren't good qualities. I've always thought I'm a decent, genuine person. Not strictly true. i WANT to be - I've just never showed it. I don't let my full emotions out because of fear of showing them.

I never realised how needy & desperate I come off. I've been texting this girl who is a solid 8. Decided rather than try to make her laugh, and be cocky & pretend I'm the man I'd just chat to her, be pleasant and try and make the convo about her...just go with the flow with no outcome other than to have a good conversation. As the convo went on theres been a few natural opportunities to fit in a few flirty comments. She's started saying i should meet up with her more when I'm in town, started asking me when I'm next out......this is all over text, a girl I;ve known & shes known me for about 6 year. Thats insane.......

I think I'm so stuck in my own head, so internal with my own thoughts, fear and worriesd that I don't see whats going on outwith me, i don't appreciate and take note of whats going on externally, or really LISTEN & ACKNOLWEDGE other people.

Another example is a female friend of 10 years, she always has me round her flat, always cooks for me, I just turn up and expect it as standard. A bit scary but I went out on a limb yesterday and told her I'm taking her out for a meal in the next few weeks as I'm really grateful for what she does for me and i take her for granted. She was over the moon and so happy....she's never reacted toward me like that before. She's a 100% friend but when i took her out she was delighted and we had a great time.

I might sound a bit mental or on something as I type this but its like I look outside and everythings still the same, but its looking like a different world. i think the person i am is just a mask thats been created to cover up the real person beneath all the unplesantries I've experienced. Would make sense why i always seem in conflict with myself & get frustrated if I'm not truly "being myself" which I've not been doing.

I've been trying to be this outgoing, cocky, extroverted cool guy to fit in so people will like me. I'm an introvert; i can still be outgoing - just because I'm not the life and soul of the party doesn't make me uncool perhaps....maybe theres hope for me yet.

i was out with friends last night, stone cold sober (I'm on antibiotics for 3 months = no drink) and had an amazing time.

My looks and height may be related to my problems with woman but I'm definitly convinced the main problem is my mindset and being stuck in my own head with my own thoughts all the time which leads to a lack of confidence. Focussing on external factors & trying to (something I find hard) living in the moment or present I think is a big thing which could help me.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to BroadswordWSJ For This Useful Post:
amit1207 (25-08-2013), GoodRebel (27-08-2013), kowalski (25-08-2013), markuk (28-08-2013), Phenom (26-08-2013), richcol (03-04-2014), Stein (25-08-2013), Voodoo (26-08-2013)
(#10)
Old
Stein's Avatar
MASTER PUA
 
Default 25-08-2013, 09:12 PM

This is very encouraging, great stuff man.


Y'all think it's bougie, I'm like, it's fine
But I'm tryin' to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Pick-Up Artist Forum UK
Copyright © 2024

Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.