Broadswords Thread

[BroadswordWSJ]

So lately I've not had anything to talk about on the "PUA" front. Not bothered writing up anything about my last few nights out as apart from some random interactions, I've sent more time on these nights just ejoying the night & being with friends to the point where I've completely "forgot" about approaching women.

I've also started loking into other things - reading, walking, meditating...as well as sorting out some basic life stuff at home; again, i feel a lot happier.

As I flick through this thread & I can't believe I forgot about this post. Ego, hiding who you really are, scared of what people think, trying to be more humble, openly admit to others I make mistakes, trying to be a bit more abundant about things, self love - all relevant.

Probably the most inpoertant post I've written and I'm beginnign to experience it again - how the heck did I lose sight of this from 9 months ago? So i've started doing this more, and I've stopped focusing on trying to chat up or flirt with woman and just talk to them. I realised that the better times I was having Aug-Oct when I wasn't "approaching".....in Mar-Apr thats what i was doing - going round places "llooking" for women to approach and if you read you'll see they were shit interactions.

So I'm taking a step back and just focuing on being "myself"....which at the moment doesn't invovle much flirtyness but more, erm...genuineness & listening to & taking more of an interest in other's convo's and lives & I'm beginning to feel a very small amount of comfort/peace which I like.

In trying to be more myself, I'm actually quite jittery and a bit more nervous - but I'm 100% self aware of it which is helping me then become more relaxed (I know that sentence doesn't make sense, but it does). My head the last week or so has been pretty calm which is alien to me & almost doesn't feel right; no noise or racing shite running through it Just relaxed calmness; maybe meditating, beach walking & other interests have helped.

I've also decided I'm going on a facebook self imposed ban for at least the next month, it really is just shite. Newsfeed full of stuff from people I barely tlak to, hardly know or folk i haven't spoken to in about 10 years; the people I'm closest to I barely interact with on there. I'm not enjoying it, it really is pish, and stupidly time consuming.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Friday 24th May

Went to a concert with friends. Whilst in convo taking a drink (feeling a bit jittery) a female friend says somethign funny and in mid sip I burst out laughing and spray my beer all over her & her friend as they duck for cover. I totally soak them, they dont look amused & I just think "FUUUCCKKK". I humbley apologise sheepishly.and then they just laugh it off & its forgotton. Normally i'd hold onto that for ages and feel bad but it just flittered away out of my head.

A few hours later whilst gesturing with my hands I slap a 3/4 full pint glass all over the table.......all over the same friend! She jumps out of the way of most of it. I again apologise, congratulate her on her spider man like reflexes & ask her if she's really Andrew Garfield in disguise. And she agian just laughs it off as beer covers out food table, and is dripping all over the floor.

Only reason i posted this is I find it significant that (A) I showed humbleness & admitted my mistake and felt good for it (B) Normally i'd totally beat myself up over making such a fool of myself but managed to let it go within about 5 minutes & (C) These women were NOT impressed & were potentially away to tear my head off, but after apologising and just being open about it their moods instantly changed and it was laughed off as if it never even happened.

[maestro]

That last paragraph is just bizarre. You think and talk way too much, mate. I used to be like that. You might think it helps, but it really doesn't.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Originally Posted by maestro

That last paragraph is just bizarre. You think and talk way too much, mate. I used to be like that. You might think it helps, but it really doesn't.

It wasn't bizarre to me. It was awesome. And yes, I do think & talk too much. I've always been a deep thinker which unfortunatly comes with pro's & cons.

[maestro]

I'm not knocking deep-thinking. I do that. It's just the importance you're attributing to insignificant thoughts I'm knocking. Just because that is merely mental masturbation, which is lame and gets you nowhere. I used to be a sucker for it. Stop your thought fapping! ;-p

[BroadswordWSJ]

What exactly is mental masterbation?

[maestro]

It doesn't matter. Carry on as you are.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Fair enough. It was a serious question. I don't know what it is.

[Phenom]

Originally Posted by BroadswordWSJ

It was a serious question. I don't know what it is.

According to Urban Dictionary;

Originally Posted by Urban Dictionary

Intellectual activity that serves no practical purpose.

[BroadswordWSJ]

As a random update..........(which is really just a further expansion of this post)

I've been out maybe 3-4 times since April, but spent most of these nights pretty casual, having a good time socialising with friends and not really focusing on other women & I've totally enjoyed it. Had some random conversations with women at the bar, when out smoking, out shopping, walking down the beach etc, but thats it. Just random socialising.

I got a number of a girl flyering in town one night, but after a few texts established she's a student who works Thurs, Fri & Sat in a bar and the other nights are spent sleeping or studying so I just politely stopped texting; sounds like she has no social life or time for men.

I got the number off another girl who was pretty hot & drunk, but discovered after a few texts she has a boy friend...but is really flirty.....but has a boyfriend and what he doesn't know won't kill him....then she was kidding she doesn't have a boy friend....I told her I'm not interested in women with bf's, my way of effectively ending the convo and for about 3-4 days after she kept texting all of which I just ignored because she sounded like she had a screw loose.

And I met a work mate of a friend a couple of times and did my best (not greatly) to let her know I liked her but she wasn't very responsive and it came to the point where I was beginning to have to overwork to get a conversation out of her - at that point i just gave up. I didn't bother posting any of this because i wanted to try go through it myself as part of life instead of reporting it up on a message board, and because I wanted to try figure it out for mysef instead or relying on posts form guys on the internet, plus as you can read nothing really happened thats report worthy.

I'm generally just trying to be more self aware of my social skills & the way i portray myself. Long story short my social skills are actually very poor, and i come across as inward, uptight & arrogant. So I've gone right back to basics - forget about trying to kino or flirt or show sexual intent. Instead, I'm just focusing on listening, taking an interest, keeping eye contact and having a laugh. I'm also becoming more humble and empathetic (if thats even a word) & I'm quite happy with this at the moment.

Really getting into meditation altho admittedly I could be more commited and I've slipped recently because of work, but I'm finding it helps a lot. Reading books.....going walking, playing some poker.....I bought myself a new PC. I'm doing 60+ hours at work the last few weks which is pretty tiring also but I'm beginning to quite get into the project I'm leading.

Life is pretty good, feel pretty relaxed & I don't really have any complaints about anything.