As a random update..........(which is really just a further expansion of this post)

I've been out maybe 3-4 times since April, but spent most of these nights pretty casual, having a good time socialising with friends and not really focusing on other women & I've totally enjoyed it. Had some random conversations with women at the bar, when out smoking, out shopping, walking down the beach etc, but thats it. Just random socialising.

I got a number of a girl flyering in town one night, but after a few texts established she's a student who works Thurs, Fri & Sat in a bar and the other nights are spent sleeping or studying so I just politely stopped texting; sounds like she has no social life or time for men.

I got the number off another girl who was pretty hot & drunk, but discovered after a few texts she has a boy friend...but is really flirty.....but has a boyfriend and what he doesn't know won't kill him....then she was kidding she doesn't have a boy friend....I told her I'm not interested in women with bf's, my way of effectively ending the convo and for about 3-4 days after she kept texting all of which I just ignored because she sounded like she had a screw loose.

And I met a work mate of a friend a couple of times and did my best (not greatly) to let her know I liked her but she wasn't very responsive and it came to the point where I was beginning to have to overwork to get a conversation out of her - at that point i just gave up. I didn't bother posting any of this because i wanted to try go through it myself as part of life instead of reporting it up on a message board, and because I wanted to try figure it out for mysef instead or relying on posts form guys on the internet, plus as you can read nothing really happened thats report worthy.

I'm generally just trying to be more self aware of my social skills & the way i portray myself. Long story short my social skills are actually very poor, and i come across as inward, uptight & arrogant. So I've gone right back to basics - forget about trying to kino or flirt or show sexual intent. Instead, I'm just focusing on listening, taking an interest, keeping eye contact and having a laugh. I'm also becoming more humble and empathetic (if thats even a word) & I'm quite happy with this at the moment.

Really getting into meditation altho admittedly I could be more commited and I've slipped recently because of work, but I'm finding it helps a lot. Reading books.....going walking, playing some poker.....I bought myself a new PC. I'm doing 60+ hours at work the last few weks which is pretty tiring also but I'm beginning to quite get into the project I'm leading.

Life is pretty good, feel pretty relaxed & I don't really have any complaints about anything.