Broadswords Thread

[BroadswordWSJ]

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

You have to go out regularly with wings. Go find some wings now, on any forum, mass message. Make it happen. Going out regularly (3-4 nights a week) WITH wings is mandatory. Its the one true path to learning this, no one else did it any differently. You're the same as everyone else.

I've done a google search and looked round plenty of other British PUA forums, there doesn't seem to be any kind of PUA scene in Aberdeen at all. Whilst I get going out regularly is needed for this, Fri & Sat would be my only managable nights - 3/4 days a week just isn't possible given I'm up before 6am every morning.

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

Okay do you drink? Do you like bars as opposed to clubs?

What do you want out of all this? E.g. a girlfriend asap, a bit of a dating/sex life then a girlfriend, to be a player for a few solid years, to be a pua.

How much are you willing to put into this and how much do you want it?

Yeah I do drink socially although I'm not a huge fan of getting wankered, I can quite easily enjoy myself in bars or even casinos as opposed to clubs although as I said before nights out generally come around every 6-8 weeks. I don't really know how to answer "how much am I willing to put into this"? The answer is I'm not hell bent on it as the most important thing in my life but is obviously something I'd like to improve on, it probably would sit at around 3 in a list of things in my life that are important to me.

What would i want out of this? Some casual dating and sex would be nice with an eventual goal of a long term girlfriend, but given what you've just said & my response I'm realistic enough to see there's a chance that will never happpen. If logic dictates I have to be out, out, out talking to women all the time, that's something i don't have time for, it would more be an as and when thing.

If devoting all my time and effort to this really is whats required, the way my life is that isn't possible so maybe things won't change, who knows. All i know is that in general when i am out or do try something, I feel a lot better and have more fun with it certainly a lot more than I did as far back as 12 months ago.

[top-hat]

If you have no time to go out, Join OkCupid, sort out some photos and profile. Then do as i do, send a message to 100 people each morning, just some generic shit. Then hide their account from your search. You'll get to the end of the list relatively quickly. Once you've reached the end, every sunday morning send the same generic message till you reach the end. To whoever replies tell em you'll take em for a drink then just ask for a number.
Hopefully it works for you, I've managed to get two dates lined up this week.

[Serendipity]

I have limited time to go out 'on the pull' as well. I think we just have to be more proactive in general. Like you asked out the girl at your last workplace. Things like that should be a more regular occurence. We know relying on chance probably won't work.

[nova]

I guess we could all do at least half an our each night. That's completely doable and realistic. But like anything, that requires discipline and effort, it's setting aside that time in your life.

[Shahanshah]

If you live in a city you can manage three nights a week. One night, as I mentioned, to socialise for a few hours and be home by 12am or 1am. Or at least friday and saturday. Might sound harsh but you're 32 and a virgin, how can this not be important enough to put some time aside a few times a week.

Top Hat's idea is a good one too. Still though, PUAs are everywhere because in every population, area and demographic there will be a roughly similar percentage of Autism and social deficient people (Lol). So you can find wings if you put in the effort. Messaging people etc. Searching "Aberdeen" in the Search bar of all the places.

Or making and finding new friends who might be up for chatting up girls rather than 'pick-up'.

If it really isn't that important to you, being a 32 year old virgin, then why are you on here, why did you start this thread? It doesn't have to be THE most important thing you focus on where you pay attention to nothing else but you gotta put some work in. You got to get laid. If it really isn't a big deal then I'll stop posting advice, advice of the reality of your situation.

[Serendipity]

The mates I went out with in the town I was living in (small town) were not really into chatting women. I was totally convinced I was alone in this venture. But with going out twice a week (Fri/Sat) for a while I got to know two guys who were out to chat women and try to pull the same as me. One was a bit younger and the other was a bit older. This changed my outlook a lot for the better.

I realised the limitations I'd imposed on my reality were largely self-created and self serving because they gave me an excuse not to make an effort. But the map is not the territory. You have to create a new map for yourself by pushing out of the comfort zone and seeing what happens.

The thing is if you stay in your comfort zone and your social circle / routine, for what it is, things won't change. It goes back to that saying... if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.

Things were starting to improve for me slowly but I'm sacrificing a lot to move to a city to increase my options.

What your saying about Aberdeen, I think that's a limiting belief you've got in your head. It's one of the richest cities because of the oil. I'm sure there are loads of social options there that you haven't explored yet because you've convinced yourself they don't exist.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

If you live in a city you can manage three nights a week. One night, as I mentioned, to socialise for a few hours and be home by 12am or 1am. Or at least friday and saturday. Might sound harsh but you're 32 and a virgin, how can this not be important enough to put some time aside a few times a week.

I don't live in the city, about 8 miles outside it in the country. Fri & Sat are really my only nights; the rest of the week isn't feasible given I'm generally in bed by 10 for a 7am start at work.

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

Top Hat's idea is a good one too. Still though, PUAs are everywhere because in every population, area and demographic there will be a roughly similar percentage of Autism and social deficient people (Lol). So you can find wings if you put in the effort. Messaging people etc. Searching "Aberdeen" in the Search bar of all the places.

Yeah, I have thought about giving online dating or Tinder a go again, but my first shot on POF really didn't go well at all, I messaged 34 women and received 0 replies but a lot of that could be down to my profile or pic. I'm not going to go all Stonecastle on here as I know its worked for guys on here...but I think a lot of onlne dating IS looks based; I'm admittedly average-below average looking at best and as the ratio of men is usually higher than women on these things, they have plenty of other options instead of me. A female friend who is admittedly smoking hot had 275+ guys message her on POF......she only replied to 4 of them and from that 4 she went on a date with 2 of them. A girl i worked with had about 80 guys message her within 2 months...stuff like that doesn't really fill me with confidence, but I'd be willing to give it another go.

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

Or making and finding new friends who might be up for chatting up girls rather than 'pick-up'. As for looking for Wings in Aberdeen, does anyone have a list of British PUA sites? I put some effort into searching online for this the last couple of days and other than unearthing a few threads that are years old I've found nothing.

Well yes, there is this. How exactly would I do this? I'm already in a relatively large social circle where pretty much everyone is taken or has no interest in picking up women or going out to chase tail.

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

If it really isn't that important to you, being a 32 year old virgin, then why are you on here, why did you start this thread? It doesn't have to be THE most important thing you focus on where you pay attention to nothing else but you gotta put some work in. You got to get laid. If it really isn't a big deal then I'll stop posting advice, advice of the reality of your situation.

I never said it wasn't important to me Shah, I get exactly what your saying: I need to get out & meet women. But you ned to flip it round. Your young in your twenties; I'm 32 with a social group that is well on their way into adulthood and being grown up; there is a difference. Everyone is already with a significant other for a period of average 5 years. Also, when you get to 32 and probably before this age - people really stop caring about going out for nights on the town. They are too busy saving their money to pay for their morgage and life related stuff - going out on the town starts losing its appeal once you hit your late twenties.

I appreciate the advice, I never said it wasn't a big deal - but if I'm honest right now I'd put career & housing ahead of women on my list of important things. As is stands, short of meeting a group of single guys who like to go out, my experiences with this will be on an "as and when" it occurs basis.

[Serendipity]

Originally Posted by BroadswordWSJ

I need to get out & meet women.

Yes, that's your priority. Make it happen and forget all the other waffle you wrote.

[daleinthedark]

I would disagree, going out just to meet women should never be a priority. Improving self yes. Develop social life yes. But putting shagging above a house or a sound career sounds like a bonehead move

That said only chatting up girls 2 nights per week is a pretty lame effort - you has that woman begging for you the other night, there's no reason you can't do that at work, to friends of friends, other course participants, people in the supermarket queue.

[nova]

If it needs handling, perhaps it needs some serious focus, rather than tinkering around the edges.

Make it a priority if it's a part of your life you want handling. Move to the city if you need to do. Talk to girls on the way home from work (something I have started doing each day). Take the course of action that gives you the best chance of getting what you want. But, it depends how badly you want to change things.