Broadswords Thread

[Serendipity]

Good report dude.

There's good nights and there's bad nights and it seems pretty random. I expect as the skills become more developed there's maybe a bit more consistency.

It's a numbers game. The thing is you never know if the next girl you approach is going to be into you, like the engaged girl you had the long interaction with. If it happened once that means it can happen again. And the next one might be available.

You should use that as your motivation to get out more often (even solo) and keep doing approaches. If you do that the rejections gradually have less and less affect on your mood, treat it as your exposure therapy.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Originally Posted by Serendipity

Good report dude.

There's good nights and there's bad nights and it seems pretty random. I expect as the skills become more developed there's maybe a bit more consistency.

It's a numbers game. The thing is you never know if the next girl you approach is going to be into you, like the engaged girl you had the long interaction with. If it happened once that means it can happen again. And the next one might be available.

You should use that as your motivation to get out more often (even solo) and keep doing approaches. If you do that the rejections gradually have less and less affect on your mood, treat it as your exposure therapy.

Yeah thats true. I'm hapier to keep trying this as and when the opportunity arises. I'd never go out all alone for the pure intention of aproaching women. I think its a tad creepy, its weird, not the norm and it would come across as fake or part of a routine. I just don't think I'd be believing in what I'm doing. Each to their own though.

Honestly though Jasmine was fucking hot, I can't believe that even happpened. I might be a virgin but I'd have quite happily tried my best to smash her back dooors in.

[Shahanshah]

Originally Posted by BroadswordWSJ

Friday 28th February

Yes, this post is massive, but I really don't care. Probably the best interaction I've had to date.

Had a leaving night for a friend. Upon arrival at the bar, I made sure I greeted every female I knew with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, or a brief arm round their waist where possible. Not one of them recoiled & all seemed pleased to see me. I practised "kino-ing" with them (yes, i know its meant to be natural and not forced but if you don't ever do it its going to be weird to start with) & again no negative reaction.

Its difficult to remember everything as it was like 5 nights ago, but basically i said to myself "I'm going to have to approach women"....and so thats what I did:

1. Went up to one girl and said "Don't I know you from somewhere?" (total lie), spoke some fluff briefly before her and her mate left.
2. Spoke to some girl who bumped into me on the stairs and I said "Check you deliberatly bumping into me"...bit of banter and laughing back and fourth with her mate chiming in & I eventuallky said "You need to tone it down and make it less obvious you like me", more joking around
3. Told some girl i really liked her jacket and that she looked hot in it...she looked a bit confused and didnt respond so i asked her name, she gave me it....the convo was pretty awkward, she eventually just walked off
4. Went up to some other girl and said "Hey, hows it going"....only to then realise she was completely smashed.

But thus here is the main point of this post.

There was a group of 3 absolute hotties in the area next to us and I couldn't stop looking at them, if you want to objectify there were all at minimum an "8". I was too scared to talk to them because they were so hot and (partial limiting belief) way out of my league. Had a combination of fear to approach them and frustration that i wasnt talking to them, the frustration got to me more so I just stood up and walked over to them. They were in mid convo so I kinda hovered till one had finished talking, then all 3 of them looked at me, and completely shitting my pants I blurted out "Don't I know you from somewhere?" to the one with the biggest boobs. "Don't think so?" she replied, and her and all her friends smiled. I basically just started making up shite as I went along, nervous and rambling (then realised i was rambling, so slowed it down, lifted my head up and spoke slower)....and they didn't seem to notice or mind i was nervous, and they didn't walk away.

I realised pretty quickly that big boobs & her small friend were both married, so I turned to there friend who had been quipping in with cheeky comments. She told me her name was "Jasmine" and that she was a high class Escort. I told her I was an MI5 agent. She told me before that she was an intergalactic moon farmer, I told her I used to be a haybail engineer. She was a physcic, i was an ice cube yield analyst. Basically the stupidest randomest conversation you could ever have. Ended up pulling a chair next to her and at random times she started touching me...for the first time EVER I saw "IOIs" in real life; her eyes were huge, ruffling her hair, playing with the ends of her hair, constant smiling and laughing, brushing her tongue over her teeth and sticking it in her cheek at times etc etc. I played with a bracelet she had on her wrist and worked my way up to fondling her hand, kept near enough great eye contact with her....plenty of flirting, sexual innuendo's and just generally a great time. I've always said on here I lack sexual edge & masculinity; I was doing it right now and it felt so normal.

i hadn't noticed her left hand because of the angle she was sitting at holding her drink.....but when she brushed her hair back with it....she had a massive engagement ring on So I asked her how long she'd been engaged, and how I was totally devestated because I thought we were going to get married and I'd probably need counselling. Despite being taken i was enjoying the convo so much i stayed with her, we started showing each other facebook pics etc. Her friends came over to take her away to the bar a couple of times and she told them she was fine here, even gave them money to buy me and her drinks. At some point we got talking about why i was single, and I over the top sarcastically told her I'd never had a girl friend and was still a virgin....she burst out laughing, smacked me in the arm and told me to shut up. I persisted i was serious (in a jokey way) & that I'm afwul with women and she just kept laughing. "Yeah yeah, I'm sure you say this to all of them....give it 5 minutes after I'm gone and you'll forget me and be trying it with someone else, your so full of shit!"

I'd probably been talking to her for about 45 minutes when it was time for her and her friends to go, so i gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told her it was shit she was engaged as we were totally meant for each other, but it was nice to meet her. She replied and said "Yeah......I think your pretty cool, maybe if I wasn't engaged...but I am. Besides, your a 32 year old virgin who's never had a girlfriend, how could you ever satisfy me?" I just smiled, then she said "Seriously, one piece of advice....don't say shit like that. I know your just kidding.....but it felt like you were taking the piss out of me, no way your a virgin!" So I said "ok...cool". Her friends came back over, was a bit of banter from them and some faked jealously about how I ditched them for their friend when I realised they were married ("So because we're married we're beneath you huh?") and off they went.

I went back over to my friends who I'd noticed had been looking over a lot the whole hour or so I was gone and they all sat preying with bated breath "Please fucking tell me you got her number?" I told them she was engaged which was instantly met with a chorus of boo's and disbelief, they all felt I was totally in there.

This killed a belief I had my friends would poke fun at me or whatever for speaking to women like that - they were all actually rooting for me. It's also amazing that this girl genuinly couldn't tell I had no success with women or I'd never had sex despite me telling her so (although I did make it into a joke).

I felt absolutely fucking awesome. Yes this girl was engaged, but she was totally naturally hot, big eyes, volumous brown hair, flirty.....and I sat with her for 45 minutes like it was totally normal. Her mates were head turners as well. And yes this post is massive and you lot will fall asleep reading it but I really don't give 2 shits - what a night.

PS - When I woke up the next day, all 3 of them had added me on fb, and they must have had to search for me as we barely have any friends in common. Pretty cool.

Cool on the progress. You're 32, don't tell girls you're a virgin. Ever. Just do what you think is right when the moment comes. Don't come across as a lothario but don't tell them that shit. They won't fuck you if you do.

I have a few things to say but first, do you go out with other people who are into this shit (pulling girls not pua) and what are they like?

You've had your free year pass of messing around on the forum, gotta up your game man. I never post serious shit anymore, so take this post as me being sincere and not trying to get forum boner points or being your cheerleader.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

Cool on the progress. You're 32, don't tell girls you're a virgin. Ever. Just do what you think is right when the moment comes. Don't come across as a lothario but don't tell them that shit. They won't fuck you if you do.

I have a few things to say but first, do you go out with other people who are into this shit (pulling girls not pua) and what are they like?

You've had your free year pass of messing around on the forum, gotta up your game man. I never post serious shit anymore, so take this post as me being sincere and not trying to get forum boner points or being your cheerleader.

Yeah haha, I totally know not to say that! It was done in a totally jokey way like I wasn't being serious and being over the top emphasiszing I was joking.

My social groups nights out on the town pretty much died about 2-3 years ago. We're all in our early-mid 30's; if you include me in a group of 15 male friends, I'm the only single one. They've all on average been in LTR's/married for 5 years + if not longer & 9 of them have kids. When you get to this age and your at that stage in your life, adult stuff, kids & work take priority. Nobody really has any interest in hitting the town anymore, more important things to spend money on. Admittedly I can't stand night clubs myself. This is by no means an excuse - just trying to explain how it is as I'd estimate your a student in your early twenties and its maybe something you wouldn't totally understand given your still in your prime of nights out getting pissed just for the pure fun of it.

So the way it really goes for now, if I'm out shopping which is maybe once a fortnight, or out on the town which is probably maybe once every 6-8 weeks I try and take these chances as they come. Certainly looking at my calender my next planned night on the town isn't until mid April.

[Shahanshah]

You have to go out regularly with wings. Go find some wings now, on any forum, mass message. Make it happen. Going out regularly (3-4 nights a week) WITH wings is mandatory. Its the one true path to learning this, no one else did it any differently. You're the same as everyone else.

Okay do you drink?

Do you like bars as opposed to clubs?

What do you want out of all this? E.g. a girlfriend asap, a bit of a dating/sex life then a girlfriend, to be a player for a few solid years, to be a pua.

How much are you willing to put into this and how much do you want it?

Wings > everything else in pua/dating industry. Word up.
Going out regularly > This forum, videos, material*

* I said 3-4 nights because you have catching up to do. Not making fun or AMOG'ing or lecturing you, but the reality is that you missed out on a lot of fucking/dating/harrassing women.

Dude you need to hit this shit HARD. You only have a few things that can happen on a night out; you approach, you socialise, you pull. There isn't anything else. Anything else is subjective, a style, marketing, mental masturbation or semantics. In fact you could consider approaching just a form of pulling (escalating).

For approaching and socialising I'd say go out 7 nights a week because those are things that you can do whilst only out for an hour or two whilst on work days whilst gaining lots of experience and confidence. After you've got that down you should save nights out for pulling. Nights where you are putting your all into it rather than "I will go out and do x,y,z but be home at 1:46am". Nights where you get pumped up to out, you put on your good aftershave, do your hair, nice shirt, shoes. You know 'On the pull' haha.

So you can get the first phase (socialising and approaching) handled quite quickly if you go out a fuck tonne. Even during this phase you can still pull and by all means go for it BUT generally if you have anxieties and difficulty just approaching and making conversation pulling is an unrealistic goal.

[Stein]

I'd like to add that going out solo, while being seriously fucking tough starting off, is great for getting good fast. Provided you're crazy and determined enough to do it. But then again you have to be pretty crazy and determined to do this properly anyway. When you go out solo you've got no safety net to run back to, so you learn quickly that you've got to spend your time socialising.

When I was getting good I'd do a solo night at least once a week just to push myself. I'd highly recommend that along with going out with other people.

I think how valuable a wing is is really dependent on who the wing is and what he's like. I've been out with some really great wings who've been a massive help, but I've also been out with some total weirdos who do nothing but stand around and bitch. If I was going out to really put in work I'd take solo any day over work mates or some mouth breather from the LSS. Worked pretty well for me anyway.

[Shahanshah]

Originally Posted by Stein

I'd like to add that going out solo, while being seriously fucking tough starting off, is great for getting good fast. Provided you're crazy and determined enough to do it. But then again you have to be pretty crazy and determined to do this properly anyway. When you go out solo you've got no safety net to run back to, so you learn quickly that you've got to spend your time socialising.

When I was getting good I'd do a solo night at least once a week just to push myself. I'd highly recommend that along with going out with other people.

I think how valuable a wing is is really dependent on who the wing is and what he's like. I've been out with some really great wings who've been a massive help, but I've also been out with some total weirdos who do nothing but stand around and bitch. If I was going out to really put in work I'd take solo any day over work mates or some mouth breather from the LSS. Worked pretty well for me anyway.

I can see that being good once you know your shit but starting off would you think its a good idea?

[Serendipity]

I started off with solo day / night baby steps. I still do it if I find myself on my own somewhere. It is tough. But it's good to feel you have that option.

There's less peer pressure. That could be seen as a disadvantage on the one hand, as nobody will encourage / push you. On the plus side though you feel less like you're being judged if you fuck up. In my case I preferred solo to start with.

The hardest part is avoiding going in your head and becoming stifled. It forces you to get out of yourself and be social as there's no alternative.

If you can have a good night on your own, make some friends, chat girls, it does a lot for your confidence.

What I've found is you notice other guys who are doing the same thing. I've met a few guys in this way who became like my wing for that night. The 95% of people who are out in their social groups just don't see all this going on.

I would add though that if you're starting off, depending on your level of social / approach anxiety you need to watch you don't start getting a lot of negative experiences by over-reaching and looking for outcomes, validation, etc.

You want to build on positives gradually. Initially I was not trying to hit on girls or pull, I was just approaching, saying hi, maybe giving them a compliment then bailing. It's gradual exposure to build your confidence. This is especially important starting off on your own because there's no one to pick you up if you get a bad reaction.

I think this isn't far off the mark at all, it fits with my experience so far: http://www.goodlookingloser.com/appr...xiety-program/

[Stein]

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

I can see that being good once you know your shit but starting off would you think its a good idea?

Yeah, totally. The main reason why is that it helps you avoid on eof the biggest problems that new guys have, which is taking half measures. The real reason 99% of people who get interested in this stuff never improve is because they're half arsed about it. A lot of the time pretty new guys all go out with each other, and as a result end up setting the same pace as each other, which is like this:

- do a half arsed approach when it looks easy
- runs back to your pickup buddies to talk shop
- repeat half an hour later

Going out solo doesn't give you the option to go half arsed like that. Instead of falling into other people's lackluster pace you set your own, which is almost always faster and more proactive. It also works especially well starting off because you're more sensitive to the social pressure of standing/wandering round on your own. Nowadays when I'm on my own in a club the worst feeling I might get is occasional boredom, but when you start out you feel like a fucking FREAK when you're on your own in a bar/club. It'll be really hard the first few times you do it, but you learn pretty fast just to keep going round and socialising, and that kind of attitude then carries over to every time you go out regardless of who you're with. Which is what you want really.

[Serendipity]

That's true. When I went out solo abroad the other week I realised after each interaction ended I had no group to go back to. So I just went straight into another approach. It was definitely a higher pace than I've done when out with my mates.

The bar I ended up in had three floors. I just moved around opening as I went.

I had been in there a few weeks before but left after 10 minutes because I felt too self-conscious and started micro-managing myself. A guy bumped me as he went past and I thought he did it deliberately. But he was probably just drunk.

I was determined to go back and give it another go felt better for doing that.

If you can tough it out through the initial discomfort it does get easier.