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(#131)
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22-07-2014, 08:55 PM
21st July
Went Speed Dating last night. 14 women. Long story short, there wasn't really anyone I liked or stood out. An older women who was quite sarcastic and had a dry sense of humour, and a younger girl who whilst a decent bit overweight had a cute face and seemed quite chatty - I put them both down as ticks but thinking about it now if I met them elsewhere I probably wouldn't bat an eye lid, they were just the 2 I liked form everyone there. I think that's 4-5 times I've done this now, out of maybe 50 women I've met at these things there's only 5 of them I've liked; only one that I really liked. Although in fairness a lot of them tend to be on the wrong end of my ages scale. There was also a girl i used to work with about 10 years ago, but she's still as bat shit insane as ever and also a dude I went to School, Uni & have worked with who i hadn't seen in a while so I spoke to him a fair bit. The one good thing I was really pleased about was I wasn't nervous at all, not in the slightest, totally relaxed, no tightness around my jaw or anything. But maybe too relaxed - at times I felt tired & lethargic - I wasn't really excited or happy - just kinda in the middle. Despite my lack of nerves I found it difficult to get any conversation going & I'm the type of person who has plenty to say but I found it difficult not to be formal and be in interview mode. After the 5th girl I decided I wasn't going to ask anyone what they do for a living again and if they asked me i started giving stupid answers like I'm a cow tipper/haybail rider/ice cube analyst/virgin porn star, and I actuallly began to enjoy myself a lot more. Next time I go I'm going to trey and be a bit more aloof - I might even act like a complete idiot or totally stupid just for the pure sake of it to see what happens. Also a bit annoyed I didn't greet everyone with a kiss on the cheek, hand shakes just feel completely weird but again I put it down to the formal setting. Looking back this whole paragraph is prety much identical to what I wrote the last time I went speed dating, almost a carbon copy. From the 2 girls I ticked, I see this morning younger girl didn't pick me and older women hasn't logged in yet. 2 of the other women did tick me but it shows how much i was paying attention, i can't really reember them. Normally I'd get an ego boost or be pretty chuffed if something like this ever happened, but I'm not really bothered, nor am I bothered that neither of the other 2 were interested. I've posted lately I've kinda lost interest in women and im happy living my life. Other than what I posted last, the only bit of female interest somce the previous post was a girl I met through work who works for a 3rd party that supplies stuff for my company & I thought she was cool and kinda hot. Spoke with her over email and got chatty about personal stuff and a bit flirty, but soon established she's been living with her boyfriend for 3 years - end any thoguhts of persuing things further and go back to formal work talk. Based on how neutral I'm still feeling I'm beginning to worry about this a tad now. In general I'm the happpiest and most emotionally settled I've been for a while in terms of general life happiness. I feel pretty relaxed, care free, I'm sleeping better and have more energy & focus. But It really is the case that right now I don't seem to care about women in the slightest, and I really don't give a shit - like its something that I'm completely happy not having any involvement with. I'm pretty sure thats not right & deep down thay surely isn't true....but I sat and asked myself a lot of questions about this and meditated thinking about it for a 15 minutes or so......and its true; no excitement or spark when it comes to women. I have some other general thoughts and things I thought of whilst contemplating this which I'll post up later.     
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markuk (22-07-2014) | ||
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(#132)
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22-07-2014, 10:36 PM
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I like this, when you start doing what you want to do and not others expect of you then surely you are free, my son. (Felt I had to add the son bit sorry). 
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(#133)
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22-07-2014, 11:16 PM
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You have to overcome the hurdle until you're on the other side of the mountain. Start off on taking home 1s and work your way up the objectification ladder. Have fun.
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markuk (23-07-2014) | ||
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(#134)
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23-07-2014, 06:01 AM
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(#135)
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08-08-2014, 06:49 AM
I was out for lunch on Tuesday & whilst standing at the pizza counter couldn't help but notice the girl standing next to me. Was like a combination of hippy/emo - blonde hair with red highlights, tattoos, pierced nose & a bad ass leather jacket.
I told her I thought her hair was cool, that her jacket was bad ass & that I liked her style. We spoke for around 5 minutes & I asked for her number which she seemed more than happy to give out. Text her a couple of times and she's out tomorrow so we've agreed to try meet up. Will see what happens. I've meant to post something on here regarding some general thoughts of mine for a while but I'm so busy at work I just don't have time. Shah is right in his last comment in that I don't know what I'm missing out on, but I disagree that I've lost motivation because I haven't got anywhere; I don't think its a lack of motivation - I think I'm at a point now where being single or having fears of being alone or whatever doesn't bother me; I'm ok with it. In terms of thoughts on woman I just feel "happy go lucky" on the topic - *shrug*, there's a lot more things in life to enjoy & strive for, women is just one of them.
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(#136)
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08-08-2014, 03:52 PM
That's a very good place to be in....and naturally, you will meet women just like the one above. It will be interesting to see where this road takes you
'The secret of happiness is not discovered in the absence of trials, but in the midst of them' - Ted Nace
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(#137)
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14-10-2014, 09:11 PM
Suppose its time for an update (Post 1 of 2):
Monday 13th October Went Speed Dating last night again. In a nut shell: Girl 1: Didn't fancy her or find her attractive Girl 2: Pretty cool, outgoing, film buff (607 DVDs) - Yes Girl 3: Worked with her years ago, friend, but her amazing rack almost made me say yes purely for that reason Girl 4: Didn't think she was physically attractive, but she was quite giggly, funny & emotive. - Yes Girl 5: Found her boring & unattractive Girl 6: Outgoing, traveller, gym enthusiast, cute, good convo - yes Girl 7: My fav, shy, pretty, nice smile, nice laugh - yes Gilrl 8: Unattractive & thought she was on drugs Girl 9: Single mother of 3 with no job. Not for me. Girl 10: Completely legless, loud & swore a lot. No thanks Girl 11: Too old and thought she was a bit weird Come to the point where I was going to stop doing this as I find it too formal & interview like but thought fuck it, I'll go. As usual went myself and as with previous times no nerves at all, probably because I'm used to it. I recalled how I was from past times and changed things up a bit. I was really chuffed I managed to greet every girl with a hug/kiss on the cheek or lips (something I was upset I didn't do last time) which felt so much better than shaking hands, and in some instances also departed with the same, or got a bit of a thigh touch/arm rub etc in. This made me fell a lot more comfortable and happier and the women seemed happier with it as well. I was a lot more aloof and jovial, some of this was dependant upon the other girls mood but at times told total outrageous stories which were clearly bullshit or completely lied about my job, playfully poked fun at what they said at times or listened and spoke normally as appropriate. At the end of the night, 5 of the girls stayed back and I just went and joined them and sat with them for about an hour after when most guys had gone home (When we arrived, I also just strolled up to the women and introduced myself before the event started which I think was pretty good). Overall I had an awesome night & glad I went, I've learned from past times doing this. Whats also good is previously there was only ever 1-2 girls i ever liked, here I've got 4/11. From a personal point of view what I like the most is that none of them were physical stunners, it was more their personality & vibe i was into, so for me to say yes to woman that I don't find overally physically attractive is a pretty big thing. I'm still awaitng the all the results but girl 7 marked me as a "friend". Bit disapointing, but its an improvement on previous times given the choices are Yes/No/Friend so getting Friend is better than a no. I haven't decided if I'll get in touch to be friends.
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(#138)
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14-10-2014, 09:29 PM
Update post 2 of 2.
Had a look on here to see what I wrote last, and to be honest I've not been out a whole lot since August other than a home wedding which was shit. I took some time off work to visit a friend in Norway and loved it, really cool laid back country, friendly people. Fucking expensive thogh at almost £8 a pint - we had 4 beers, 2 fries & 2 burgers for a total cost of £130 - WTF! Also went hiking up & down Pulpit Rock which was an experience, some of the views & scenery are awesome. I then flew to Dublin & spent a weekend just getting wasted with some ex Uni friends. Irish women are always up for some craic and had some decent banter but it didn't go anywhere. I also got back from a wedding in Italy about 2 weeks ago; best wedding I've ever been to. There were around 20 women there, unbelievably all were attached. Ended up having an awesome time regardless which included gettign thrown out of a Rock bar for singing too loudly, nearly ending up overboard on a boat trip & staying up drinking with a guy till 3am when my airport taxi was at 7am the next day......and waking up at 6:55 when I hadn't even packed. Good times. I've also had a few stints offshore with work for a few weeks at a time, when you throw that in with the above away trips I've not really been around to be out or anything in Aberdeen the last few months. Despite no women or whatever, I'm a lot happier in life. i look back at times when I was always down in the dumps or sifted through short term bouts of depression. I feel a lot happier and more emotionally helathy. Walking, reading, meditating - these are things I stuill want to do more of but as with the above theres not been much time recently. Being single doesn't bother me at all, and any interactions I've had with women, i've not been bothered that didn't go any further where as historically I'd beat myself up. I've also been a lot calmer as opposed to being alll anxious/nervous, or trying to act cool & cocky and be somebody I'm not to over compensate. I've also had some personal stuff going on & helped a friend with some personal stuff but overall I'm hopefully there or thereabouts at a point where I can honestly say I don't NEED a girlfriend - it might be nice to have though. I've also been focussing on letting go of the fact I'm a virgin and what not. At the end of the day, no point worrying about getting naked and trying to pleasure a women when I'm not going any further then social interaction or dates, perhaps best to take it in small steps and take things as they come - can worry about (or enjoy) sex if & when it comes. I've got 7 nights out coming up ion the next 2 months as we get closer to the Xmas period so plenty opportunity to socilaise and speak to women. As per previous posts I'm happier (and consistently happier) then I've been in such a long time, and I stilll think I cvan be happier and enjoy life yet more than I am so far which is a good thing.
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(#139)
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14-10-2014, 09:31 PM
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(#140)
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15-10-2014, 12:26 PM
I think you need to try and push yourself to do things you've not done before. Take some risks with women. If you're already happy what have you got to lose ?
That's my attitude at the moment, although I've not been doing enough for various reasons.
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