Had a similar thing happen me in the distant past. Met an ex (first love and all that) by chance in a pub. She had moved to another town after we split but had come out that night to a friends birthday party or something. It seemed like fate to me that we had met again.

She spotted me, approached me, chatted me up then asked me for my number. It felt to me like it was all back on. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I lost my appetite and had trouble sleeping - totally love sick for her again.

After speaking on the phone for hours on end over a few weeks we finally made a date to meet up. She came and picked me up in her car and took me back to her place in the town where she lived. We had a few drinks and talked a lot. Then at some point she just jumped up and said "I'm off to bed are you coming?" So of course I went but when I tried to kiss her, she turned over and said sorry I don't want to. I thought wtf? So I lay there all night wide awake with a hard on. I tried everything I knew to coax her but it didn't work.

Anyhow this fucked me up and we ended up having a row over the phone a week later. And that was the end of that. I think at the time I agonised over it, wondering what I could have done differently, e.g. maybe she didn't want me to think she was easy. Or maybe I didn't escalate quickly enough, on and on. I think it's normal for your mind to do this. It takes time to subside. But it does.

If she hadn't played her stupid game (if that's what it was) she'd have got her man (if that's what she wanted).

But with hindsight now I'm certain the relationship wouldn't have been good for me. So I'm glad it ended when it did. Maybe that was fate.

Cheers mate, really sounds quite similar, I know full well that I need to just ignore it and move on. Every relationship I've had since I've held with the expectation its going to end so I've had little issue with getting over it and even ones before it, but this one, I don't know it was just something about her, I kind of met my match. In all honesty I reckon she's just as fucked up as I am, I honestly don't know why I find her so attractive, I can't think of any genuine reason besides her being passionate about what she does (actually I posted the other day about what I find attractive in a woman, passion), actually that answers my own question.

Ah well.

One thing I didn't mention in my post, because it just occurred to me after posting, was that I never honestly told that girl how I really felt about her. I think I thought it would scare her off. As it turned out I never got the chance to tell her.

Some women are fucked up. But they are also incredibly insecure. maybe she's testing to see how you really feel.

You could tell her to her face what you've expressed in your post "There's just something about you..., her passion, etc". That was passion coming from you.

Christ if that doesn't work nothing will. Best of luck mate

Tbh mate, I've tried to give her an inkling of such, she doesn't have a great appreciation of relation, she's bedded twice as many guys as I have girls, I could be open about it but I don't think it would work, she likes to tease, far far too much. I need to play games here, and win.

Going from that last bit of info mate it sounds like you should give that relationship a body swerve. And will probably be better off for it in the long run.

I don't know the girl obviously and you do. But one thing we don't need is women that are a bit (I hope this doesn't sound harsh) physiologically or emotionally unstable.

That one I escaped from was the same. She used to talk to me about other guys. I don't know why the fuck I put up with it tbh. I'm much more aware of the red flags now.

To add, I'm not saying this girl you know is as bad as the one I knew, but teasing someone too much is not what the kind of girl you want to be associating with does.

Smashed it again, I've been preparing for another 10k run these last few weeks, I set myself a target of 50 minutes and made it in 48:40, and as I mentioned last time I did a 10k in May the satisfaction comes not from the time in itself its from setting a target and beating it.

On a slightly different note, I've had a few friends mention that I look unwell and that they are concerned for my health and the amount I drink. If it was just a single event I would disregard it, but its a couple of different people, my natural reaction is to dismiss it with the mindset of they don't understand or everything's fine because I don't think anything's wrong, but my own opinion is subjective I should probably re-assess my situation. Maybe go see a GP.

How many nights a week do you get drunk? And how drunk? How does it affect what you do in life?

Probably about 5 nights a week, but of those 5 only 2 or 3 will I drink enough to result in a noticeable hangover ( usually about 6 - 8 pints, dependant on how much I've eaten ), which invariably lasts from a few hours to most of a day. It doesn't prevent me from doing what I do, or my work but I'll be honest it can affect my concentration or efficiency.

That is a lot but are you using it to speak to girls? I think its justifiable if you're socialising and macking girls.

Do you feel it departs from your life or enhances it?