Good - simply taking action is the first step.

Adopting a 'buyer' mentality is difficult at first, but by identifying the problem you are already some way towards working on the solution anyway (as long as you keep going out!)

Just had a read of this and it's made me realize what I already thought. This is I need to come out with some of you lot one time.

I'm not expert. I'd say I'm a small fish in a fucking fish tank at the moment. But I'm doing what I can with what I've got. I have involved my mates on a couple of occasions but and even got my mate who is a virgin to get into 2 girls in 1 night (to be fair I may have got into them 1st but hey ho, he seemed to enjoy it) and getting another mate who has only got laid once before and (had to ask the girl if it counted.....) to shag a half decent engaged bird.

This is all well and good for them but I'm not learning anything from them except what not to do. And they're not always as enthusiastic as me.

Plus it would get me out of my little comfort zone of a town and right in at the deep end. Feel like I could learn a lot from just one night out with 1 or a few you.

You learn a lot just by getting out of your usual rhythm and breaking the cycle, stepping out of your comfort zone can be a real challenge but it's the only way you can evolve.

Yeah I've been at this fr about 6 months now on and off, given myself a couple weeks off last two weeks but hitting it hard again this weekend.

My last little mission was see if I could get off with 5 birds in 5 weeks. Did it but 4/5 were in my home town so thought I would cool down a bit before I got a bit of a reputation for it.

How often do you meet up with people off this?

We meet up for improv each week on Thursday, but besides that just whenever its pretty random to be fair

Last week I went out for a bit of a weekday sarge a few times during the week. Met up with Phil99, Liam and Bombhead at various points. Some interesting results, but I'm finding myself more up in my own head space right now, which is quite frustrating but I'm trying to get used to going out and talking to people without the need to get a few drinks first.

Biggest problem with weekday sarge of course is that it takes a bit of time for things to get busy, or at least to the point where it's not obvious what your up to, and by the time it does it's right about time to go home (I work full time), but we continued on nonetheless.

I'm finding myself almost mute when opening sets though, I mean I'm barely talking at all, and I can only start a bit of talk going once initiated by one of the other guys, it embarrassing! So anyway we get talking to a few groups, phil99 gets approached by this drunk girl which was quite funny, he does his thing and gets the number and the kiss. Pretty slow night, though got talking to this group in Dry bar, and I had a really good conversation going with one girl about computational and neurological linguistics so I go over later on with bombhead to reopen the group. So I try getting her number, her mates take the hint and wander off to the bar leaving us on our own, but she rejects with the whole 'I'm flattered speech', swing and a miss I guess, but it killed any momentum I had going.

Ah well, just have to keep at it I guess...

What is wrong with being social and talking to other people? Whats more, who would bat an eyelid?

Nothing major, but people do start to notice if there are only 2-3 groups in and the bar/door staff tend to take note of it too, especially if your a regular (I tend to go to the same places for social occasions also).

Where is the problem with people noticing you?

Out again last night with Shansha and XF Chris, fucking legendary night to be fair, started off with a few beers in Kro. I've been going out recently whilst trying to remain sober that I've forgotten how much fun it is to just have a few beers and enjoy the night.

We hit up a few student places, I felt really vibrant and energetic, got speaking to loads of different people. I'm finding myself just enjoying conversation at the moment rather than trying to chase a close, it's much more enjoyable although I did find myself kissing a really attractive girl at one point....

So anyway after that I thought I'd try mentioning inadvertently that I was already seeing somebody to make it more obvious that I wasn't actually trying to get into a girls undercrackers, and whilst this did seem to get a bit more trust it didn't feel like the same kind of interaction I was getting throughout the night, not quite sure how I feel about this but never mind.