The situation I was in recently is that my missus had a serious barny at me for not complimenting her enough and that she was feeling unappreciated, and its fair comment really because she does (being russian) go to a lot of trouble to look her best and choose sexy underwear to tease me (in a good way).

So rather than resort to standard needy "oh your really wonderful/pretty blah blah" I've started saying stuff like "your tits look great in that top", "those tight jeans just make we want to stroke you between the legs" i.e. literally just saying what I'm actually thinking. TBH I didnt know how she would react but so far its working an absolute treat and resulted in some sensational shag sessions

So, maybe this is something you can try: next time you feed the need to blurt some needy shite, try and say something direct and sexual instead.

then you need to deal with your own needy issues head on, on your own time.

You'll feel a lot better when you learn to let go of your own emotional shortcomings, and it'll be a whole lot easier being in a happy relationship. Plus you'll have the added benefit of feeling more enlightened than everyone else who just go about their daily lives accepting their own shortcomings rather than trying to overcome them.

Well.. a week on from the original post...

I still get all the feelings, the insecurities, even when I reaffirm how awesome I am, and I keep telling myself not to think about it.. and I've not been worrying about it unless I'm IN the situation.. which I guess is a good step

But the feelings are still fucking there..
I can not think about shit, but I still FEEL anxious or whatever

Ok, this mite not be the best reply on here but, if you smoke weed or do any other drugs, stop.

Drugs & weed will only multiply all those feelings & stress you describe.

But then again, maybe you dont bother with any of that rubbish, in which case, instead you should try doing what rabbid advised me before, & thats to try & learn a bit of emotional detachment from certain things, its not easy with your mind working overtime thinking about shit, but worth a try.

I don't do drugs..

Emotional detachment... worth a shot

Weed wont make you forget. Will just make you not care, But like you said you dont do drugs

I would spend some time with your friends, Take your mind of things. Have a UFC/Poker/Gaming night.!

Dont let things you cant change bother you, past boyfriends, what she has done, how many etc, whatever's happend has already happened & you cant do anything about it (other than wreck your own head thinking about it & letting it eat you up) so just forget the past & look forward, thats what im doing in different circumstances than you & although it didnt work for me overnite, its working.

Ninja, everyone is different but in my experience & in most cases weed makes your stress & anxiety levels worse...i havnt smoked it in almost 3 years, i was forced to give up after becoming all paraniod & shit, this made me worry for NO reason at all id not have a care in the world & have a smoke & within half an hour id be stressed out for absolutely no reason. This is made 10 times worse when you actually do have stuff on your mind.

Dude, they're not going to go away within a week no matter what people say.
This is something you need to work on yourself and might take a few months or more.
Every time you get a feeling, write it down and analyse it from a good and bad point of view. I'm not saying grab your notebook when you are in front of people but at least make a note of it a few hours later or something.

I myself never thought id be an emotional wreck over a girl until I did... I told a girl I was seeing that I really wanted to move things forward into a relationship....Wrong thing to do. I ready my FB messages that I sent her and wanted to stab my self in my japs eye...Proper cringe.

anyway...you are awesome and have many good times ahead. Chin up and go have fun.

weed does mess people up tho, it slows down motivation, but if u have wat u want... smoke away