There seems to be a big factor, more so amongst men, that if the girl has done it but you haven't then it becomes an issue. It is with me anyway, something to do with ticking boxes.
For example, when I was younger I almost always wanted the girl to have slept with less people than me, the actual figure did not matter as long as it was less and this still happens now though not to the same extent...that then tends to lead to judgements.

Simple solution to that would be to fuck like 200 girls. Then your next LTR's got competition!

Why should it be an issue? It might bug you a little at first, but you have to forget about the past. It's irrelevant! The dude can't have been that good, or she wouldn't be with you now. It is that simple.

I don't think this would bother you, if you had slept with ALOT of girls. It's when you've fucked like 3 girls, you would prob feel intimidated.

Has it occured to you that it may also bother/intimidate the girl, knowing you've fucked loads of girls, or done stuff she hasn't, etc etc?

Dunno, girls never seem to worry about that stuff...at least not the ones I've known anyway. They are more worried about emotional connections whereas it's well known that men often worry more about physical interaction.

That's an issue also. With a ONS, the guy obviously got what he wanted out of it and left. I somehow feel annoyed by that especially if the girl's story is that they were expecting more.
Not sure how I would feel if the girl just said she had a ONS because she has needs or it happened just because.
It's flings that didn;t really end because they never had a chance to develop. I somehow feel that ONS and threesomes are more horny sex than what you get after the honeymoon stage in a LTR.
Again, any girl I just have a fling with I never felt like this because I didn't have any emotional connection.

Anyway, thanks for the inputs BTW.

You have to change your thinking from "guy uses girl for sex" in a ONS. It takes two to tango. Single ladies go out on the town hoping to pull as well. It's not about the girl "needing sex" nor is it about her getting used by a dude giving it her but she wanted marriage.

Not every man is marriage material for a girl but she still wants some orgasms every now and again. Women enjoy sex too..

Your mind seems pretty closed on the topic. Why, after "honeymoon period", can the sex not be horny as it once was? All it takes is a healthy relationship, and good communication.

The "horny" sex aspect, which I understand what you are saying, doesn't HAVE to stop.

That is why lots of couples, happy couples, get in to swinging, threesomes, moresomes, sex parties, etc etc etc. Cos after being married 5 or 10 years, and you don't feel emotionally/physically threatened by her, cos you can give her orgasms all day long, it won't bother you as much when you start to experience other things.

I don't think it's quite the same though I see what you're getting at.
Girls might be going out to find someone but they're hoping it might last longer whereas a guy is out to pull but not necessarily take it any further afterwards. Granted, there are probably many different reasons.
If all girls just had only a sexual need then it would be pretty easy for them to go out and get it, a girl on the pull ALWAYS pulls but the fact is that many girls don't pull any more than the men do otherwise their numbers would be much much higher, they need something more than just some random guy to pull.

Some unhappy couples also think it will save their relationship but it actually ends it because they can't cope with seeing their partner do it. Works both ways.

My mind is not totally closed as I can see how I don't judge others for doing this, I just judge my LTRs - it's a bizarre way of thinking I realise and I want to change, just need a lot of introspective thoughts.

GenePoole lets cut to the chase as this thread is going round in circles. Sexually what do you want from a girl?

I mean break it down, historywise what is ok for you or what can you handle?

Secondly what do you expect from a girl in the bedroom? Do you want her to be dom? sub? I don't mean acts just an idea of her behaviour.

Thirdly what exactly is it that upsets you about orbiters, old friends, flames or whatever you want to call them?

Also what exactly is it that you don't like

why are you trying to convince a 20 year old not to be jealous... i was, you was

its just bein young

That's what I thought mate until

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!



as if he is, didnt he say he was 21 somwer???

if ur early 30's u need a some help with ur self esteem

His age is irrelevant though, he wants to change...