Alright went out last night, on the wednesday, and turned up to the club. No approaches, it wasn't really a night out when I would have approached anyway. Literally had no intention.
There was a girl there I like in my social circle but I know to not particularly get involved as that will lead down to my life story and repeat the same old one-itis.
Still after all the coursework is done Im going to set up a 'date', in the club she was literally surrounded by at least 10 guys chatting her up.
If you think im exaggerating then Ill have you know I counted. Like how am I supposed to handle that? It was also people in her/my social circle too so I couldnt blow them off or anything.
Damn, we get along really well in the few times Ive met her sober or in the day but again I KNOW not to go down that road which I almost slipped into.
Meditation has helped, I only JUST got back into it but 2 sessions have already helped me directly giving me that 'space' between my emotions and the enviroment.
Recently Ive become aware of my actions and what i do/dont do in general. Or at least I think anyway.
Must be more proactive!! Starting tomorrow DIRECT DAY GAME and Proper approaches at nightt.
Im going to use the summer to help think about what i want to do with my life, for some reason University or at least this course is not for me but then i have the FEAR that I'm just being a drop-out (as giving up is something of a habit of mine or at least was)
i dont know, i want to go to a better university and do English Literature or maybe just go straight for a career. Some guidance from older people would be great, maybe I'll speak to my uncle or aunty (they're successful people in their chosen passions and careers). This stuff gets to me. Im too introspective I believe or am i
Going out tonight in manchester though
Long rambly post but wanted to vent this stuff out and get some perspective ya know