Because of all the stuff I read about number closing I forget that the number is just a way to contact them later, it's not an end in itself. That's the way to think of it as conversation extender. With any luck it's not going to be the end, it's going to be the beginning.

This is all good stuff, but missing one thing:

ACTUALLY ASKING THE GIRL OUT

Doesn't even need to be a big deal either.

And try to meet some girls outside of work as well! Broaden your options

Today is that day.

A bit tricky to sort out an activity after work as work is constant all week, maybe last minute shopping or something.


I also approach people outside of work pritty much everyday, talking to whoever has really become a normal part of my life

I've been thinking about my closing difficulties recently.

I've realised that I don't have any trouble in actually closing but, what I do have trouble in is the timing. I seem to think that a moment to close the girl will present itself at the right time, so for the time being I should just enjoy the conversation. The conversation finished and this 'chance to close' doesn't arrive. So I leave the conversation empty handed.

I have realised that the chance to close did present itself; it was the actual conversation. The fact that I'm talking to her means I should be closing her in that interaction; not waiting for some great moment or whatever.

Closing is my weak link in the chain. I start putting this into practice and my game becomes pritty sweet.

That resonates with me. The 'sometime later' or when 'it feels right' mentality is very bad. I've missed so many chances with that mindset. And I think I've left quite a few girls bemused why I didn't ask them out. It's never going to be the perfect time. When I did ask girls out and they turned me down I think part of it was the fact I had rejected myself before they did. It was an indication of a deeper problem in that I didn't believe in myself. That's what I've been trying to address. But there's still the fear that after all this I could still be rejected. I suppose the key is to react to it differently than I did in the past, i.e. not turn on myself.

Today I realised that my past memories and such are still very much there. Christmas day 2008 I was in hospital, waiting for the verdict on my girlfriend who was in a car crash along with her dad. What they didn't say straight away was that she died enroute.

The last 3 Christmas' I have been in a rut because of girls and my laughable way of handling the situations.

This year its similar but not on all levels. I've found this year that I simply will not say anything joyful, at all. Not even merry christmas to anyone. Fucking bahh humbug. I had 1 of my female friends today tell me I have a cold black heart. I don't show much emotion, expecially this time of year. I find myself staying up till 3am just watching the stars, it makes me see how small problems are in relation to the universe. I suppose all this could make sense to why the sky is my favourite thing in the world.


Its all made me realise that I'm still carrying all these past events around with me. Sure, I've let go of some, but the key ones, the key events I've seemed to of held onto.

I'm sorry to hear that about what happened dude. The truth is we all carry things around with us whether we want to or not. The main thing is not to let it affect your future in a negative way. Christmas can be a weird time. But you're headed in the right direction, it just takes time and persistence.

Its shortly the beginning of the new year and there's no better way to kick the new year off than to hit the streets of the big cities; Manchester and London.

Quite naturally I put expectations on myself before I even get to the event, I'm not sure 100% if that hinders me or drives me to succeed. I'm writing an article right now about expectations, goal setting and the importance of been realistic.

I have realized that my first night out was actually a rather big success. Quite surprisingly I was more physical and chatty than I originally thought I would be. A criticism would be that I didn't do an awful lot outside the group of 100+ I was with, though I only knew maybe 15 of them.

When I go out I want to really push the physicality side, I feel like I can do much better in that aspect of my game. I want to go for a more physical approach, just kinda have more balls about the initial approach. To be honest, I don't know what works well in the club but in most cases, I think you could get away with a lot of approaches if you are sure of yourself and intend to do it.

I may also be heading to Eindhoven soon to check out the university. If my job situation continues how it is I might need to wait until next year or follow my contingency plan, Manchester. But still, likely a night out in Eindhoven, open to whoever might want to tag along.

As part of the New Year I decided to sit down and evaluate different aspects of my self improvement and game.

I know that nearly all of my remaining issues are ego based in one way or another. I keep fueling the fire, whether that been a mix of emotions or simply a build up of anger that has grown in size year in year out until I started to tackle it last year. Anger, thought, pain, negative emotion and so on can only feed off another negative, that's part of the reason why it was so easy for it to build up.

I know many guys on here are skeptical about Eckhart Tolle. There are things that I just don't agree with and other parts that resonate well with me; the key is not to take what is in books so literally, you interpret it, take out the irrelevant and understand the rest.

For me it was that my mind was in the past and made assumptions on the future, I barely ever took a chance on situations, anybody I got remotely close to i.e. relationship, I ended up pushing them away because I assumed it would be the same as past experiences, which just reinforced the cycle of fear; negative feeding off negative.

About half way through last year I had an epiphany, all this, all my problems have one common centre; I cared, I gave a damn about people, about how I was perceived.. myself, I always came second. So I was like "yes haha that's it, I just have to not give a damn about anyone and be a selfish sod". That was what I did. And sure, I did what I wanted, in a sense of the term but that frame of mind did absolutely nothing for me.

So I was basically thinking 'what the fuck man'. Then I realised, in a lot of my posts and in a lot of what I was saying to people, a phrase was used frequently, that phrase was "I think". I knew that the mind's a tool to be called on when needed but over a period of time miss using the mind, it begins to adapt and become a bigger part of you. In a sense, it uses you to create and feed on the scenario its created. For example, the girlfriend cheating on you; everything small such as, she's going on a night out without you, amplifies into an obsessive thought and that is your mind feeding on the negativity it's created... all the good stuff like how happy she is with you or how her friends take her away from any prowling male on a night out, they all seem irrelevant whilst you still have the thought of her cheating; negative cannot digest positive so the mind scims over it like it was never there.

I started to watch the times I went in my head, which was so frequently I could hardly believe it. Then I started to really take control. There are times when it runs away from me but I can pull it back and gain control again. Pain has decreased. Rejection is funny now. I'm slowly removing negative things/people/ect out of my life.

I found a great way for me to totally free my mind was to simply look at the sky at night. It made me feel like all problems I was having were so small in the grand scheme of things and made me appreciate just how small I am in the universe. So doing any approaches or anything like that, though my ego could make it a big deal, in reality, it's about as significant as someone posting some shit on facebook. Our life is like but a few seconds in the life of the world, so your time to make your mark is already running out.

I've always hated the quote "history defines who you are". I also feel it to be inaccurate. Who you are is initially defined by your social, environmental and natural factors but as you grow, another factor can also come into play; yourself. You can make changes and, for the most of us, the change is welcomed. For example, going through self improvement or something basic like moving to another country. Doing this adds a new dimension to your life. When I talk to people about the travelling I've done, my friends from other countries and share information on where I want to go next. People really find it amazing. My point is, you don't have to be a sheep and follow the flock, create your own path, be who you want to be. Change is the thing that frightens us the most but if you lift your head up, take a breath and embrace change, then there's a lot of possibilities out there.

So this year is the year of positive, driven action. I know where my problem lies in closing so I'm going to nail that down, I'm going to go out more, mix my approaches more, make approaching a part of my everyday life and progress with self improvement. It's time to start making my mark more effectively.

Also, this was on New Year's Eve so I was rather proud of myself for not going over 4 pints, yes 4 pints! I feel like I can and should be physical with a lot of girls but at the same time I appreciate that to go over to a girl without even talking to her,at all, can come off as creepy as fuck. However, if I use that simple value giving spiel I used on the night out, I think it add a certain mystery in terms of guys are constantly approaching girls, asking them different stuff, whereas I did the opposite, yet still having fun, so it add curiosity, hence the eye contact and girls approaching me and my group.

I have lot's of interesting theory's concerning nights out that I'd like to put into practice, well interesting to me anyway. I'm also making monumental headway in self improvement, with a basic affirmed belief, 'if not now, when?'. I feel this year is going to become like a greatest hit's in my life.

Till next time. Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool