Timber Hawkeye:-

Quote:

The most liberating and empowering moment for me was when I stopped blaming other people[and things] for my unhappiness and realized that my perspective on life is not just the problem, but also the solution!

My advice is a bit sketchy here because I'm still trying to practise what I preach, but you need to change that attitude. If that's what you think about yourself, that's also what your going to portray to women you interact with.

As they have this magical sixth sense of female intuition that we're not blessed with they could sense something is a bit broken with the vibe you put out as a result of these thoughts.

Thanks for your comments guys.

Re- reading my report of the nights events (or rather how I perceived them) is revealing.

As kowalski suggested I'll try to post a second version with as honest an evaluation as I can give.

I'm conscious of the fact that making excuses for my inaction has developed into a habit over the years and I need to get better at recognising when it's happening so I can stop doing it.

Also there were some short interactions that I forgot to mention. They semed trivial but they must have come into my mind later for a good reason so I'll include them in second version.

BroadswordWSJ - advice not sketchy at all - very perceptive in fact. I thought the same when I read it next day. It's not good that I'm thinking that way when I'm out being social.

I think there are some women out there who consider me to be very good looking.

The lack of confidence has been the main obstacle to me getting out, finding them, approaching them, interacting with them.

But I feel I'm going in the right direction.

I should add that I now understand 'lack of confidence' is itself an excuse for not taking action.

Waiting to be confident before taking action never works, I know that from my own experience. You need to take the actions first to gain experience, improve, then the confidence comes after that. But it involves taking some risks.

The first obstacle is actually fear. Fear of failure, embarrassment, rejection (AA is a perfect example). And the more you avoid facing up to it the larger an obstacle it becomes.

It starts to dictate how you behave, which leads to your comfort zone shrinking instead of expanding.

I just properly lol'ed in the middle of my French class.

If you fear getting rejected I advise try and get rejected a few times. You'll see it's not too bad and nobody dies.

Exactement!

Have you seen the film 3 Kings? *Paraphrased* There's a part in it where a soldier has been advised to go into a war zone and fight - he's never been in live combat.

George Clooney: You're scared?

Soldier: Maybe.

George Clooney: The way it works is you do the thing you're scared shitless of first, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before.

Soldier: That's stupid. It should be the other way around.

George Clooney: I know. But that's the way it works kid.

I agree with the soldier, but I suppose its true.

I say my advice is sketchy because I'm a complete beginner at this and I think this will take me longer to grasp than others. But funnily enough Dale saying being rejected isn't that bad - last weekend I watched my female friends being hit on at least 5 times and they rejected all the guys and they were all pretty cool about it, in some cases they even played along and gave some good banter back.

I've seen the film, and good example.

I'm not too worried about rejection at the moment. From where I'm at now, managing to approach seems like a success in itself, so what happens after that doesn't seem to matter too much.

I've not made any emotional investment in the girl at that point so what's lost?...nothing.

Times when I've been gutted by rejection is when I've made an emotional investment in the girl before even asking her out. This has happened to me a few times at work. I think I came across as needy and desperate.

This is why I got interested in learning PU - to be better able to find out quickly if a girl is interested and if not move on to the next one. That was the objective anyway.

But realising now that getting there involves a lot of soul searching and facing harsh truths, self-acceptance, etc. It's much deeper than I expected.

I suppose it's manning up. Which is no bad thing whether or not it gets girls.

Saturday 14/9/13 - revised report

First bar - didn't consider talking to any women as all women there seemed to be with their bf/husband.

A hot woman came in. Didn't try to talk to her as she was surrounded by the three guys she came in with.

Second bar - looked like tail end of a wedding reception - about 10 people who seemed like family / close friends - taking photos and all that.

back to first bar - mates turned up and we talked about random stuff. had a good laugh. Wasn't really looking out for women at this point.

third bar - first time in here - show band playing. Some younger girls standing watching. I went up and stood next to them but didn't make EC or talk to them.

I thought they looked too young - maybe 18 and younger.

Talked to a few guys standing around watching the band who seemed friendly. Two older women got up and danced.

They went past me to sit down I said to one over my shoulder "hey your a good dancer". She laughed saying she was just helping her sister out and walked on.

An older woman with slightly buck teeth sitting at the bar near where I was standing kept looking around at me. A guy kept hanging around her but she didn't seem comfortable with his attentions.

I avoided EC with her in case she thought I was interested.

There were some other older women who seemed to know everyone in the bar. In fact everyone seemed to know everyone else.

fourth bar - recollection is a bit hazy but remember two decent looking girls, one checking / fixing her outfit in a mirror outside the ladies toilets.

As I passed coming out of gents I said "you look fine", they both looked around then giggled but I didn't stop as I felt too pissed to have a convo.

I think this will be the strangest report I've ever made so far...

To cut it short I had to travel to a central European city for a business meeting today (Wednesday).

On Tuesday night, a few hours after I arrived, I got talking to this Norwegian nutcase in the hotel bar.

We ended up in the red light district hanging out with this pimp guy, smoking Moroccan hash and drinking, then I banged two prostitutes (not at the same time).

I had a bit of buyers remorse this morning. Not much game required when you are paying for it. But got in about a couple of voluptuous tarts so it wasn't all bad.

The first one was pretty mechanical and awkward (I've had a very very long dry spell) but the second one went much better and we connected a bit.

It wasn't planned and wasn't really what I was looking for but I just thought ...fuck it, go with the flow.

And the business meeting went quite well too.