Quote:
Originally Posted by Serendipity
I should add that I now understand 'lack of confidence' is itself an excuse for not taking action.
Waiting to be confident before taking action never works, I know that from my own experience. You need to take the actions first to gain experience, improve, then the confidence comes after that. But it involves taking some risks.
The first obstacle is actually fear. Fear of failure, embarrassment, rejection (AA is a perfect example). And the more you avoid facing up to it the larger an obstacle it becomes.
It starts to dictate how you behave, which leads to your comfort zone shrinking instead of expanding.
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Have you seen the film 3 Kings? *Paraphrased* There's a part in it where a soldier has been advised to go into a war zone and fight - he's never been in live combat.
George Clooney: You're scared?
Soldier: Maybe.
George Clooney: The way it works is you do the thing you're scared shitless of first, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before.
Soldier: That's stupid. It should be the other way around.
George Clooney: I know. But that's the way it works kid.
I agree with the soldier, but I suppose its true.
I say my advice is sketchy because I'm a complete beginner at this and I think this will take me longer to grasp than others. But funnily enough Dale saying being rejected isn't that bad - last weekend I watched my female friends being hit on at least 5 times and they rejected all the guys and they were all pretty cool about it, in some cases they even played along and gave some good banter back.