Exactly, i need to just set myself small simple goals which are easily achievable which wouldn’t normally do in my lazy slobish mind-set. The problem is with self-development and making amendments to your behaviour is that it’s a slow process that you want to happen overnight! I need to just stay motivated.

Ive realised that I need to do this for me and not for her. I do have thoughts about me becoming a better man and maybe she would want me back but I keep dismissing it as soon as it comes into my head. Im trying to train myself to ignore any possibility of her wanting me back and im trying to make steps forward to better myself.
She is a cunt but its been hardwired into her by her parents. They have certain beliefs that they have planted into her and she cant help but think what she thinks. Her family are very money orientated and I don’t think I will ever be good enough in their eyes! I think this is for the best.

I might print this out and stick it in my wallet!
I find myself spending money for the sake of it. I will spend money on anything because of boredom or to make myself feel satisfied. If I go in a shop to buy some cigs I will come out with cigs, chocolate and a drink. I cant help myself. On nights out I spend money on buying drinks when im too drunk to drink them because in my head it’s the thing to do!

Yesterday’s list was

1) I had an argument with a mate on Thursday and I'm going to be the bigger man and arrange a meet to try and rectify the situation. we have been in contact but there is still some tension there.

2) take my dog for her night time walk because I always say I'm too tired and make my mum do it

3) make a start on organising my room so I have a cleaner environment to sleep in


4) drink only water, no tea or coffee just natures juice!


I achieved 2,3 and 4 and arranged to meet my friend tonight because he was busy last night.

Today’s list is as follows:

1) Carry on with drinking water and taking the dog for a walk.
2) Go to the gym for an hour minimum
3) Eat 3 pieces of fruit
4) Get work clothes ready tonight and not tomorrow.

Ive been off work with a bad case of the Rodney Trotters for the last 2 days so i havent really completed much of my list.

My list for today will be

1) Drink only Water

2) Meet with my mate in manchester in the sun and have a chat and chat some girls.

3) take the dog for her night time walk

4) Be as positive as possible in any situation

I am looking forward to this weekend now, a chance to go out and experience the world again.

i have nothing holding me back now other than me. Instead of puling every girl in the club i am also going to just work on getting the 9/ 10s to get used to talking to the hottest girls. i dont really have a problem with this now but i alway close the average girls just because its less effort.

A great way to improve your mindset is to pay me back that money. Your karma and mindfulness will improve greatly.

I used to overspend, not to the point where I had no money left but after budgeting more carefully I actually wondered what I had been buying. My motivation was a mortgage deposit and I made an Excel spreadsheet with all direct debits, incidental expenditure and incoming payments, a big balance sheet.

I haven't updated it for a month (tut tut) but it can tell me to the penny what should be in the bank and what I'll have in the future on my current spending and income rate.

Now I just use the cash machine once a week, any leftover cash I put aside to dip into if anything comes up.

Like Hustler25 said, don't buy frivolous items. I haven't ate fast food for years and I used to be a bit of a gadget fiend but get by on what I have.

Where's your posts Jynx! I thought it was daily shit!

Ok, im taking this break up pretty hard!

I found myself out with the Ex mates (due to having the same social circle)

She wasn’t out but all of her close friends were. i didn’t want to show that the break up was getting to me so i tried to hide it. I remember at one point during the night her friends were talking to me about her and i pretended to be on the phone so i could go outside. when outside i punched the wall a few times and bust up my hand and i tipped over one of those massive bins on wheels that’s like the size of a small car. i went back inside like nothing had happened and I was fine.

i crumbled and text her telling her i still love her to a reply which just said i need to move on! Such a pathetic excuse for a man I am!!!!

I went out on Thursday and had a quality night, got with a few girls but I feel that people can sense that theres something not quite right with me. I must be putting across a vibe where im still hung up on the ex and its not good.

This last week ive not been to bad but today im really struggling with the break up. Ive been drinking very heavily and not concentrating on taking action!

I just don’t feel like a good person or a man!!!

This is a new week and a new start!
I want to try and start looking after myself im becoming amess again. I need to start looking after myself and working on my personal apperance

List:

1) Go to the gym
2) Have a sauna and steam
3) Research skin care
4) have a salad and not a chippy!

This break up has hit me like a tonne of bricks, ive nearly been in tears many times already today i just cant hold it together. i want to be sick and i cant get her out of my head.

i was checking her social network profiles constantly and i text her at least 15 times today with no reply.

she finally replied saying i need to leave her alone because ITS OVER!!! she wont budge.

i took action, i unfollowed her on twitter and deactivated my twitter and facebook and deleted my instagram account.

I just want her to text me telling me she loves me and wants to see me but i know its not going to happen!

I cant focus on work and cant get her out of my head atall. personal development seems like the last thing i want to do at the moment. Ive also found that my anxiety is through the roof and i actually feel scared to go to bed on my own so ive been sleeping on the sofa!

She used to live an hour away so when we last broke up it wasnt to bad but now she has friends that im close to and anything she says or does is going to come back to me. i know kowalski says just tell them i dont want to know but it will come back one way or another.

I completed my list from yesterday so today im going to -

1) go home and get changed without sitting down to relax
2) go to my mates and go straight to the gym
3) hour work out
4) not text the devil!

I cant express how much of a bad place i am in at the minute... im skint, i owe out money, shes finished me and wont talk to me, im out of shape and i cant concentrate on work. im in the lowest place ive ever been in and for some reason it feels like its only going to go down hill!!

You'll get over this Jynx. It may not feel like it now but you will. Life is full of ups and downs, you're on a down but there will be an up.

Indeed, how else would you know when things are fantastic if you don't get kicked in the gonads every now and then to know the difference...

Sorry to make light of it, but you will get passed it mate, just stick at it and keep yourself occupied. And really try not to contact her that's only going to make it harder for you.

Hey Jynx, sorry to hear you're feeling poo.

I suffer with cyclothymia (a mild bi-polar) and I remember one time I really wanted to take my own life - I had no money, girl issues, friends being assholes. One night it even came to it that I had a length of rope and a plan. but rather that go and find a tree I turned to some dependable friends.

It didn't get better quickly but it did get better. Now I'm married to the kind of girl I've always wanted and living in Montreal and about to start back at University all out of debt and happy.

I still think back to that day when I was at my lowest because I know if I can get through that I can get through anything. Just keep that in mind - you'll get through this and you can get through anything