Devonian Details Dat Dialogue

[Swordykins]

Alright so this is my first field report... I'm also slightly drunk but I presumed I'd forget all this in the morning so...

Me and 3 of my housemates head to a party on main campus, the bar/club isn't particularly busy but I try to inspire my comrades.

Oh god, why is it so hard to remember what I said to everyone? I approached around 4 girls with lines as follows:

"I found you! What do I win?" (some girls were wearing where's wally attire)

"I love this song!" (laugh, after dancing over to them, begin to sing along with the song)

"Come over here! The best dancers are over here."

This gained some mixed responses. Mostly, I followed this up by asking their names but then I did this weird thing where I held my hand out to shake. One of my housemate's pointed out that I did this with the majority of the girls I opened and said that it was way too formal. I definitely agree with him but I'm not sure what to replace it with or how to follow on after introductions. I tended to just dance with them after this and then move on since I wasn't sure what to do next.

Frustrated with this repetition, I started following up this intro with standard uni questions... "what are you studying?", "are you a fresher?" and looking for things we can relate on but one girl I thought I was making progress with suddenly decided to leave after her friend said something.

I then felt confident enough to try something different. I approached a 6/10 and attempted to take her hand and twirl her around so she was facing me but it all ended up in an awkward mess and even though she looked amused and blushed a little, I wasn't confident enough to pursue further conversation.

Later in the night, I tried approaching some good 7 or 8/10s who were dancing on a raised platform in the dancefloor. One of my favourite songs came on so I went towards her... but then.

"Hey, do you think she's cute?"

What I presume is an AMOG started talking to me.

"Uhh..."

"Go tell her she's pretty!" (he signals to one of the girls to the left of him)

"I don't really. I like the one opposite you. haha" (big mistake)

"Well tell her you like her."

I'm not sure what's with this guy right now but he's definitely challenging me.

I decide to talk to her but to not use the line the AMOG had carefully selected for me.

"Wow, it's pretty dead in here tonight."

As soon as I pull back, the AMOG steps in and whispers something to the girl. She then looks at me like "Who is this weirdo?"

I presume he's told her something along of the lines "I think this douche has the hots for you."

To counter this, I try to reduce his social value "Are all your friends this crazy?" but she full on turns my back to her before I can barely finish my sentence. The AMOG turns to me and says "Oh well, hard luck mate. Better luck finding someone else." I admit defeat and retreat to my housemates.

I tried opening another solid 8/10 but was closed out of their circle by a pretty big dude.

Overall, a pretty disappointing night. I had fun with my friends dancing and what-not but I ideally wanted to number close at least one girl. It just seemed like in that night, I couldn't think of anything to say to flirt and show intent without the girls saying "i'm not that easy." I felt my lines were thick; too obvious and whilst it wasn't an issue to meet people, uphold a conversation (as long as they're not attractive, a weakness I admittedly need to work on), it was a major struggle to progress from basic chitter chatter to flirting and showing confidence/intent without the girls doing one of three things: 1. leaving, 2. quickly saying they have a boyfriend, or 3. being offended.

Anyway, what I've said is definitely a huge ball of stuff because my mind isnt as clear as it could be so if anyone's brave enough to have read this, good on you and I'd love to hear what you have to say.

My main questions for readers:

- How do I counter cock-blockers/AMOGs in an effective way? One of the highlights of my night was when I started talking to an AMOG by saying "Bro, do you even lift?" He responded by proudly posing with his guns and resonding "three times a week mate". I guess I just need to find more effective ways of befriending the group before I seek my target and neg her or whatever goes?

- Is it really an effective strategy to open girls on a dancefloor or is it more value to chat to those sitting down or those at the bar?

-Grrrr it is so frustrating when you have a good 3 hours of sarging and not get anywhere. -_-

[Swordykins]

You kiss females on the cheek.

I can understand doing this during the day or greeting girls I already know but how does this work at night? Could I get an example?

Something like this...

(Approach towards her front, make eye contact and smile)
"Hey, you're really pretty so I wanted to come introduce myself. What's your name?"
"It's Jessica"
"Nice to meet you, I'm James."
At this point I already have my head beside hers talking to her ear due to the loud music. Do I just kiss her cheek then? "I'm James, nice to meet you." *kiss cheek*

This feels like it wouldn't fit in correctly. Or is it just me not being used to it?

As for the dude. Why engage on his level? Engage him with a different goal in mind than whatever he has planned.

Yeah, I definitely responded to that guy with the wrong mindset. I think I got so focused on meeting the girls that my manners went out the window for a moment. Noted, thank you.

shake your head say "Not interested mate" look at him as if he just put his dick in your yogurt then move away. Go over to a friend and say "Dude just start laughing really over the top, please", then both laugh a second.

Hahaha! That's fantastic.

[Swordykins]

Had lunch with a girl I exchanged numbers with a few days ago today. She gave me a little EC and I can't remember what I said to number close her but she seems interested.

I've flirted with her a little over text and messaging and took it a little further over lunch. As I sat down at her table, I was a little distracted by her 8/10 friend who's name escapes me. Atiqah, the girl I was there to meet, is a malaysian 6/10.

We went over what courses we're studying and where we're from again, she asks my about my skydiving and I do my standard "do you have what it takes to jump out of a plane" routine. They are both very interested in what I have to say. I relish in their attention.

We've both been to Singapore before so we talk about that. She's actually really fun to talk to.

Her friend leaves conspicuously and doesn't return until the end of lunch, leaving her food on the table to get cold. Assisting? I tell Atiqah it's a shame she has to go to work after lunch and that we should meet up again to spend more time together. She agrees but is very busy with work and has her mother visiting.

We have a funny conversation about her strict mother and I tell her that I can put a ladder up to her bedroom window and sneak her out one night. She says her mother thinks she hasn't drunk alcohol, hasn't kissed a guy and just studies hard 24/7. Standard asian parent.

She leaves her friends and says bye to me. It's a bit awkward because I'm indecisive whether to hug or try for a peck. We hug. It occurs me after she leaves that the best way to leave her would be the whole (finger on cheek) "Kiss goodbye?" thing. Baby steps.

Meeting her this Friday for a couple of hours at the freshers fair, am unsure of how to fill that time other than just banter more about whatever. I need to learn that it's fine to just walk and talk.

[nova]

Originally Posted by Swordykins

She leaves her friends and says bye to me. It's a bit awkward because I'm indecisive whether to hug or try for a peck. We hug. It occurs me after she leaves that the best way to leave her would be the whole (finger on cheek) "Kiss goodbye?" thing. Baby steps.

I don’t see what makes the finger on the cheek any less awkward for you, especially if you are unsure of the reaction. As you go for hug you go for the kiss. If it’s not normal behaviour for you, make it normal.

Originally Posted by Swordykins

Meeting her this Friday for a couple of hours at the freshers fair, am unsure of how to fill that time other than just banter more about whatever. I need to learn that it's fine to just walk and talk.

Take her to the bogs in the Student Union and fuck her.

[Swordykins]

As you go for hug you go for the kiss. If it’s not normal behaviour for you, make it normal.

I presume you're talking about cheek and not lips?

Take her to the bogs in the Student Union and fuck her.

Not sure if joking. Also I keep getting contrasting opinions from you guys. Dale is all like "dude, just play it cool, see what happens, don't try and force anything" and then this? If my confusion was a tangible thing, you'd have stacks of the stuff right now.

[Swordykins]

To put it simply see this girl and see where it goes. Enjoy it for what it is. Don't pressure it to turn into a relationship or just sex. Feel free to push it in the direction that you wish but don't be upset if it doesn't turn out as you hoped.

I think I misunderstood dale, but I'm still confused. What's the difference between applying pressure to get a lay and "pushing" in that direction? There's a difference between just talking to a girl, being friendly, just talking about things as they come and on the other hand actively game-ing, flirting, pushing in the direction of attraction and intimacy.

I consider nova's suggestion a push in the very least. What am I missing here?

[Swordykins]

How does anyone do anything without pressuring themselves to do it?

[Framejacker]

Originally Posted by kowalski

At what point did you stick your hand out for her to shake it?
Whenever it was, that is the point when you kiss them if it is a girl.

I actually hug most guys as a greeting rather than shaking their hands too.


Peace,

kowalski

you never hugged me lid

[daleinthedark]

Hey Swordy

Good for you on your night out

K was right - I meant don't put pressure on yourself such as setting outrageous expectations such as being a Mac Daddy on your first night out after posting here.

Also all of the guys on here will have a different approach to how we attract girls. Nova is a day game pimp. I worked better in relaxed bar/social situations. This is why the forum works so well - we're all here to help each other get to where we want to be in the way that works best.

For me I went on a lot of nights out, spoke to a lot of people (not just girls) and discovered my style, what I enjoyed but most of all I had fun doing it - making friends and finding out how social situations work and how I can fit into and lead them. It wasn't a magic pill - it was hard work

[Swordykins]

Hi Dale

What I don't understand is where to draw the line. I've always thought pickup was an active thing, an activity you took part in. I watched an RSD video about "showing intent" and the guy was saying that you should show intent as you approach and not beat around the bush at all - an AFC walks up to a girl and is thinking about what he's going to do if she rejects him, who's going to see, what if she doesn't respond the way he plans etc and the result is the girl isn't interested because it's a half arsed attempt. The video teaches that you should just have in your mind "I like this girl. I'm going to game her." The girls would see that confidence and that intent and be attracted by that.

What I understand in what you're saying is that pickup is simply an extension of going out with some friends, meeting some people (girls and guys), talking about stuff and having a good time. (night game) The only difference is a PUA has that intuition to say "Hey, she's quite attractive. I want to have sex with her." and be able to "push" the social interaction to that end/lead the conversation whilst still having a good time and all importantly, not stressing, not getting emotionally invested prematurely and putting no "pressure" on yourself.

You've also said that you have to build your social confidence from the ground up so I guess this is why you've said I'm jumping in the deep end...

Right, so next time I go out, it's no pressure time. I should go out to have fun and meet new people. Girls are a bonus. Is this correct? What about what the RSD video said?