This break up has hit me like a tonne of bricks, ive nearly been in tears many times already today i just cant hold it together. i want to be sick and i cant get her out of my head.

i was checking her social network profiles constantly and i text her at least 15 times today with no reply.

she finally replied saying i need to leave her alone because ITS OVER!!! she wont budge.

i took action, i unfollowed her on twitter and deactivated my twitter and facebook and deleted my instagram account.

I just want her to text me telling me she loves me and wants to see me but i know its not going to happen!

I cant focus on work and cant get her out of my head atall. personal development seems like the last thing i want to do at the moment. Ive also found that my anxiety is through the roof and i actually feel scared to go to bed on my own so ive been sleeping on the sofa!

She used to live an hour away so when we last broke up it wasnt to bad but now she has friends that im close to and anything she says or does is going to come back to me. i know kowalski says just tell them i dont want to know but it will come back one way or another.

I completed my list from yesterday so today im going to -

1) go home and get changed without sitting down to relax
2) go to my mates and go straight to the gym
3) hour work out
4) not text the devil!

I cant express how much of a bad place i am in at the minute... im skint, i owe out money, shes finished me and wont talk to me, im out of shape and i cant concentrate on work. im in the lowest place ive ever been in and for some reason it feels like its only going to go down hill!!