Progress will be slow. But just keep on pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. You need to feel a little (a lot) of pain to grow. Just like in the gym, no pain no gain.

But good on you for trying to expand yourself.

I don't post much on here lately, my history went like this:
1. Shit with girls (all my 20's)
2. Read The Game
3. Tried nightgame, but never really did it properly, had little success
4. Read lots of stuff on RSD about being natural and relied on this for 2/3 years and got nothing.
5. Got into day game and followed some some of structure (met countless women and got laid).

Now:
Trepidation, this is what I am feeling and have been for a couple of weeks.

Previously:
I'm recently back from a 5 week trip to Norway (Oslo) and Poland (Warsaw).
My main focus was to meet girls. Yes to meet girls, not to 'be social' or 'chill', to meet girls and try and pick them up.

It felt important. I needed some focus. It was easier to be focussed on meeting girls when you don't have a job or just regular shit to deal with.
I did meet girls and I learnt a lot. Even in a bar (I put this down to the confidence I developed sober in day game).

In Warsaw I also went to a couple of social events, it felt reinvigorating. I met some cool guys too.
I also was trying to learn some Polish every day (I don't know any other languages apart from English), but this felt fun.
More challenging than my well paid job in England.

Now I'm back in London, I'm feeling back to where I was before my trip.
All the pressures are back:
Being a property owner in London (expensive, time consuming)
Owning a car (expensive)
Working in a profession which I've grown to loath and only thing keeping me there is the comfort the money brings.
Being in an overcrowded city with a lot of unattractive and lazy people. (maybe a bit strong but whatever).

I've told myself, if for 5 consecutive days I feel the same I'm going to sell my house, quit my work contract, sell all my processions (maybe keep my mountain bike!)
& move to Poland.

This ticks some boxes for me.
A) Yes I'll be able to meet the sort of girls I find attractive (slim and feminine).
B) I've always wanted to live in another country
C) Warsaw feels less crowded than London, I think that suits me.
D) I can meet other new people (not just girls)
E) I would like to practice my mountain biking so that I can jump table tops.
F) Try and learn Polish
G) Look to generate an income (not in IT).


Am I nuts ? (I feel quite scared I'm even contemplating this).

I'm posting this here because I know a lot of the regulars have made some big life changes and I'd welcome their thoughts.

(I suppose one of the biggest issues is the house, maybe if I keep it and rent it, it'll go up by X amount in a year but it all seems like a ball ache, why do I have to invest my money in a house? Why is that the sensible thing to do, is it because everyone else does it?)...

Do it Mark!

You have tons of options for your house, renting, selling, turning it into a house share. Same with your stuff.

As for your work, you can do some permeation of it wherever you are in the World!

I regret not travelling more and not moving abroad sooner! It has improved me in so many ways as a person and learning a second language has improved my communication in ways I could never imagine (verbally and non verbally)

It's not or everyone and from K's posts too you will have really tough times but with dark there's light and I've had more awesome times than I could have had back home

I've decided I'm going to work until the end of my current contract (mid December) then move.

I think this is the best option as I can save a little money to live off in 2017 without working and keep the house (I'll rent it out). It also buys me a little time to get organised and sell shit.

Maybe I'm being over cautious but this feels like a good compromise as if it all goes to shit at least I'll have something to come back to in London.

This week has been really tough at work but I'm sure I can stick it out for a little bit longer.

I do like reading yours and K's posts you both lay it completely on the table, I feel an affinity to that!

Funny how life can change.
My contract was terminated early (September and it's taken my until now to get a new contract, starting in January).
So I'm back to little savings but I can work this contract (6 months and see where I am).

Overall I must admit to feeling pretty crap (maybe the time of year).

I've focused so hard on going out trying to pickup girls I've probably become a little weird and lost track of myself a bit.
I did travel but I didn't do much mountian biking or focus on runining as much as I could have.


This year I had two lays in January and one of the girls again in March but since then no sex.
I've made progress but this morning I was feeling it's a bit like this.

If a golfer wants to improve his swing sometimes his current game becomes shit as he's having to re-learn everything. However at some point he stops learning and with his new skill he gets better results.
However if he keeps trying to improve his swing he's never going to get consistent results.

Maybe this is like me going out and trying daygame this year to the determinate of maybe everything else.

I have had some good experiences with girls I met from cold approach (expexially when travelling). In Norway (July) I went to a bar solo I found it nerve wracking but had two sexy Norweigians hitting on me (fucked that up), after that I told myself to go to bars more solo but didn't (I'm not sure why
In London I met some cool girls through courch surfing with very little effort. One girl I particualy hit it off with (czech 22).

From 2017 I'm a little apprehensive. My chilled out flat mate James is moving out. This means I'll have to get airbnb guests back or just take the hit financially and keep getting courch surfers in.
I'm thinking that might be the best option.

I'm off snowboarding In January before I start my new contract so that'll be a nice change. Maybe It'll give me some time to think and drink beer.

Mark

So yesterday I spoke to a girl from Brazil. Was pretty indirect but then showed a little more intent. She wanted to go to Tate Modern and I'd just been so suggested we meet later for a beer.

She messaged me this morning and apologised for not contacting me as she had no wifi and was meeting a friend.

After a little chat I realised she was staying at another dudes place (couch / cock surfing) and she wanted to leave. Me being the gent suggested she can stay at mine. I told her we won't have sex. (I read that from Todd RSD - trying to remove the objections before they bring them up and at the same time getting her thinking about sex a bit like saying to someone, don't think about blue elephants - then they immediately do.). Anyway when we first met I hugged her for longer than necessary. The vibe has been quite flirty and I am excited (probably not good). She's gone off to Candem town for a bit but I said we'll meet up later.

I shall try and make more moves on her later. She has a fantastic little ass in yoga pants but she is 23. When we hugged for the second time she asked if it was usual for English people to hug, I said no only cute girls and mentioned her nice bum again.

Will try and go for a hand hold later, if she runs out screaming I guess it's better than me not trying. :O

Well I gave it my best shot but no cigar.

I did escalate a lot but she never really bought into it. Maybe she was giving me an amber light and I wasn't comfortable pushing through her resistance as I felt bad she might not have anywhere to stay. I did slap her ass in the morning and tried to kiss her so I felt I did everything I could.

She's gone now but have some Slovak twins then South Korean girls staying soon so can try again

Yes I definitely sent out mixed messages and probably manipulated the situation a little to make her feel comfortable to stay at mine. I think there was a good chance she would have seen me anyway but it's water under the bridge now.

There was a moment when we were sitting on my sofa and I had my hand on her thigh quite close to her pussy and when we were talking she was getting breathless. That was the moment to try and kiss her and I didn't. She brushed my hand away later.

I'm going to try filtering more on Couch-surfing and flirting a little before they arrive also. I'm sure I can nail this.

Thanks for the feedback K it's always appreciated.

Mark

Better luck next time. When I first heard about all the guys on various forums apparently getting laid on couchsurfing and stuff, it sounded so easy, but I introduced friends too the idea, and they've all had no luck.

I guess you only really hear about the 'success stories' and so it sounds easier than it is!

My friend has tried now with like 10 hot girls. Each time he took them out, tried to be fun, tried to escalate etc, but was always 'shot down' as soon as he escalated to the point where 'this is not how 'friends' touch each other!'.

I guess they just didn't fancy him from a 'looks' perspective? I mean, i'm not a 'game denier', but I have serious doubts as to whether you can charm a girl into sleeping with you if she doesn't think one is at all hot (especially in such a small amount of time)

Anyway, bad luck. Thanks for the honest update (you NEVER read about failure on most pickup forums) and good luck for the next attempt!

PS - i'm jealous that you even have this opportunity! I can barely afford a shoebox near Gatwick airport, never mind a pad in London where hot tourists come to visit!

K - I did try and get her into a bar but she was tired for doing all her touristy stuff. Your observations all make perfect logical sense.
Sometimes this seems so simple when someone explains it but in the moment with a girl the emotions seem to cloud my judgement.

In the last 3 months I've been on a few dates where I think I could have esculated faster and kissed sooner.
Like you said kissing when they're on their way home is too late, I've been guilty of that, then to never see them again.


Lexcorp - I've always been pretty honest, to a fault sometimes - normally why my work contracts don't get renewed beyond a couple of times

I've only actually made a move on two couch-surfing girls. The first one I tried to kiss her on the way home and she refused (should have done it sooner).
However I saw her when I was (ill) in Warsaw recently and I had a really cool time with her.

Like K said I don't think looks play a massive part in what girls are attracted too. I've gained a lot of my confidence with girls from cold approach.
I think that's the best way to learn if you're shit with girls as there is very little come back. However it's probably one of the worst ways to pull girls as there is no social context for the girl.


PS the Brazilian couch-surfing girl is in the UK until Sunday I think (peak district) and we're still chatting so not all is lost however I think the chance of anything happening are slim.