ye u already fucked her!

No, here's the thing, those issues - those horrors as I put them. In most instances they are not, I am using the internal language that governs that type of thinking and it may be clouding my point somewhat.

The things that shape people most tend to be rough events in their lives. Because of the emotional aspects of these events they're generally personally viewed as much worse than they actually are. For me personally, I've been somewhat open about several things, the changes that led me away from the dick I used to be being some of them. Others I would discuss but in a more private setting of trust as they're attached to other individuals lives and I'm not about to disclose other people's private lives all over the internet.

Events such as a rape incident can be something viewed as intensely person and of a nature that could completely put a person off. Now... In many cases that's not true, it's merely what they mistakenly believe due to their own neuroses and insecurities not to mention as you have - the inherent fear of looking bad that comes with deepening feelings for someone.

I should probably point out that I never said it made anyone a bad person, I merely said that people would talk about certain events people have been through that have affected them most, these events are usually deeply personal and negative as the bad in our lives tends to affect us far more than the good. The good doesn't leave scars.

k makes a fair point I think this is why marriages go wrong cos once peeps are married their true selves come out and everyone's fucked up............ especially women.

but seriously everyone's heard of the marriage where their partner became a cunt after they got married.

Oooh i like that kindof talk -- Special K, talk dirty to me baby!

Jay,

I just cant help but get the distinct impression, your 'bird' is either a bit of a geek to put up with you or......... has/is or wants somone rough around the edges to smash her all over the place.

like i sculpted this sentance myself

I know how much you guys love stats, one of my favourites is the one where people living together for several years then choosing to get married, I don't have the figure to hand but the percentage that fail on this basis is something like 70%.

The guy that wrote the book about it is a guest speaker on David DeAngelo - Advanced Series DVD, its very interesting stuff.

Moral if you're living together quite happily don't ruin in with a scap of paper and tax benefits.

Knave, im afraid now that you are off the market you are turning into Jay

I agree with Jay on this. As much as most men wish they could, you can't control a woman. If she knows you don't want her talking to men, she's going to get a thrill when she does talk to them. Everyone loves breaking rules?

What about in the workplace? There are men there. In the coffee shop. It doesn't have to be on a night out. You simply can't avoid your girl chatting to men. And you can't avoid the situation that your girl could get hit on ANYWHERE, which is why she needs to be a decent girl that would reject even the best of PUAs.

I agree with Phil that she most certainly shouldn't be going back to parties with groups of guys she's just met, and chatting to them all night. And yes she should reject him stating she has a boyfriend. And yes I think that mutually agreeing your boundaries (that yes, the man can lead and she will likely follow) and making her say it out loud would probably help.

But if I have a girl best friend, and then I get in a relationship, should I stop being her best friend? Fuck that. Why should I change my lifestyle (other than pulling women) when I get a LTR?

And as for what Phil said about there being men who would pluck your girl and make her cheat on you, I guess it's just a fact of life, and you have to make it clear that if she cheats on you, you'll never speak to her again. Make sure she knows the risk of losing you, and that (taken from Jay) if you're the best person in her life, then that's guna be a bad thing for her!

My post is all over the place and I can't remember exactly the entire thread without referring back, but I think it makes sense.

Are you serious man? Fuck in that case I need chop my own dick off.