My experience with relationships is when you find somone you truly love and who loves you in return - its a fantastic feeling

Having just read the entirety of this post, I have to say I agree mostly with Jay. The major issue Phil had about the original post seems to show that he wouldn't trust the person he's in a relationship with, and ultimately demonstrates his own insecurties of not being good enough. All of that was explained in Jay's post.

I am now in a committed relationship with my girl, and the other day she mentioned she would be going out with a girl-friend of hers that is single. She said to me that her friend always manages to get guys to buy them both drinks, but then they just walk away. I teased her on it by saying that she can't do that - its in the social contract that if she gets someone to buy her a drink, she has to spend at least 10 minutes speaking to them. To that, she was quite shocked that I didn't have a problem with her talking to other guys - in her previous relationships, her bf's have always acted very jealous and mistrustful of her around other guys, which in her words have contributed to them breaking up. I just said that I have nothing to fear, and that I trust her not to do anything more than talk. After I said that, she then became incredibly affectionate with me, and she couldn't stop telling me that she loved me and how different and better I am than her previous bf's.

The way I see it, if I can't trust a person I'm in a commited relationship with, then its not a commited relationtionship.

Good post Jay - I'll do well to remember much of it.

Much love,

Craigus

If your girlfriend and her friend do that, it implies they dont value other peoples feelings or respect others.
that is a fundamental issue and would immediateely put somone on my 'keep an eye on them' list
because there is no reason why they cannot apply that mindset to YOU

Girls tend to be attracted to the same guys over and over again, they say oh my ex was a bastard etc etc-so you are the total opposite and eventually you get the 'we are just friends speech' because it is within her upbringing/nurture to be attracted to the first kind of guys.

My spidey sense for you Craigus is to watch out.

Reflex makes a good point here although many people do a lot of things without actually thinking first, it's quite possible that she's merely being led and because of the separation between the act - it being her friend doing it - she thinks it's ok.

Ignorance doesn't absolve a person from blame for things like this but it does act as a mitigating circumstance.

Thanks for your concern Refl3x, you have given me some invaluable advice while I have been seeing this girl, which I do truely believe has helped me get to the point where we have now entered a committed relationship - in fact, SHE asked ME out in the end!

Of course it is early days, so I do still have my reservations about giving her my complete trust or falling too deeply. However, I do think that demonstrating mistrust by telling her not to talk to guys when she is out with her single friend would be both unattractive, and detrimental to the relationship.

Its actually going really well with her btw - met the main entirety of her extended family at the weekend, in the official capacity of BF! They really liked me too, which again, went down well with her!!

Much love,

Craigus

no, not saying that -- im just saying keep your eyes open
in a relationship its down to both of you to use your own judgement to draw a line when you are in opposite sex situations.
- if somone thinks its acceptable to string guys along to buy them drinks i would say their judgment as to whats acceptable is skewed -- just HOW far its skewed and what situations they can end up in is for you to find out, possibly the hard way.

Ah, in that case, agreed.

I have to say, this girl is one of the sweetest, kindest and warmest people I have ever met, so she is not the type to be intentionally mean or whatever to anyone. In fact, her major downfallin the past is that she has paid too much attention to other peoples feelings while getting screwed over by them at the same time.

But I understand your concern, as an outsider. That said, there is always a risk when entering and giving youself to a relationship that you could come out of it hurt. But I guess you just have weigh up whether its a risk worth taking...

Much love,

Craigus

do not be fooled, EVERYONE falls foul of the same human qualites in the right situation.

infact my downfall has been viewing girls in this way only to find that THIS ACT they have is an act....

this girl is the same as the rest, thats how onitis starts DONT BOTHER

Phil. I have no idea how you can live with such a pessimistic view of everyone around you. I'd be borderline suicidal living in your world. It's really depressing.

mate u dont know a thing about me, im happy all of the time... (apart from this weekend ive been on a major cumdown) and im always positive because i take control.

unlike you, i dont need to rely on the actions of others, and i odnt expect them to make me feel good. people can act however the fuck they want, makes no diff to me... im happy with me.

its a natural human trait do be selfish... and since u love facts so much

experiments have been done to make fact that EVERYTHING people do is for a positive self gain.

whehter that is to look good, or feel good... its always about YOU!

people are only nice so long as its in benefit of their own self or feelings.....

if it didnt change anything for the positive, you wouldnt do it... im a realist mate, movies have jaded the view of alot of people. humans r cunts THE END