No, here's the thing, those issues - those horrors as I put them. In most instances they are not, I am using the internal language that governs that type of thinking and it may be clouding my point somewhat.

The things that shape people most tend to be rough events in their lives. Because of the emotional aspects of these events they're generally personally viewed as much worse than they actually are. For me personally, I've been somewhat open about several things, the changes that led me away from the dick I used to be being some of them. Others I would discuss but in a more private setting of trust as they're attached to other individuals lives and I'm not about to disclose other people's private lives all over the internet.

Events such as a rape incident can be something viewed as intensely person and of a nature that could completely put a person off. Now... In many cases that's not true, it's merely what they mistakenly believe due to their own neuroses and insecurities not to mention as you have - the inherent fear of looking bad that comes with deepening feelings for someone.

I should probably point out that I never said it made anyone a bad person, I merely said that people would talk about certain events people have been through that have affected them most, these events are usually deeply personal and negative as the bad in our lives tends to affect us far more than the good. The good doesn't leave scars.