Phil would you speak to women on a night out?

if i had a bird, then i wouldnt be goin to bars and PULL places, id be out with my mates for a laff... so no, id have no reason to be speakin to birds... i wouldnt be ignorant, but i certainly wouldnt be havin a drink with them and doin that whole thing.

if a lad is chattin my bird up, i expect her not to to be lovin the attention & just say, look im not interested End of, same as i do when i have a GF

Even if she's playing by the strict rules you'd implement?

so yeah it should be,

dont get urself in compromising situations... if you do, u call me... i pay for ur taxi home

thats the rule!

no thats the point, if a woman has an agreement with her BF to not get into compromising situations, if they have mutual respect, she wont let u in that position.

its a psychology thing, people tend to uphold rules of honour! this can of course be killed of by an emotional rush, but if you set it so your girl has her guard WAY before u get this chance.... her chances of bein swoon is minimal.

if however ur comfortable with ur girl goin back to a party.... with a load of lads.... there is A MUCH HIGHER chance of somethin happein here

Sure, this could be a recipe for someone to try and to make a move on her. I don't feel the need to lay down any verbal rules as such though, least of all if I'm out at a bar with her. It's a no-brainer to her, and if it isn't then what's the point of the relationship.

yea but thats the thing, this is a MASSSIVE psychology thing... its like the plegde of allegiance... it isnt there just to say it, its coz it re enforces belief.

as much as it would be lovely to think SHE WOULDNT DO THAT TO ME, sometimes things happen, so wouldnt you just for the sake of it, rather have it said out loud, so you both know where the lay lies...

look i know this probably doesnt need sayin but.

as wer together, i promise to protect & be loyal you and in return you stay loyal and respectfull to me.. do we have a deal.

if you make this deal, it would be MUCH harder for her to contemplate cheating as she would be going against her own words that she said out loud.

nobody has to listen, but id prefer to re iterate it and have a bond than just hope for the best.

This is not the same rule as your previously stated "Don't talk to men", worded in a scarily controlling manner.

They are very very different.

This in fact comes from a communication and trust again, you've talked about the problem of outside interference and trust each other not to get into those kinds of problems, mutually. This comes from respect, not the domineering and controlling thing you stated previously. In the event that any such problem should arise again simply talking about it and working against it is all that's necessary to get around it. That is a relationship, "do what I say <end of>" is not, one is a command while the other is an agreement.

What is the point at all Phil? Everything is based upon trust, if you don't have trust what is the point in the relationship?

Allow me to reiterate, creating rules motivated by fear of loss with the threat of breaking up with a person makes no sense whatsoever. Agreeing that certain things cause insecurities and simply respecting the relationship by not causing such problems (without ever having made any commands or rule) is the natural way in which this is usually dealt with. As K said, he does not put himself in potentially compromising situations because of the relationship - attempting to enforce this upon a woman is just trying to turn her into something she is not. If she's going to do that kind of thing just find someone that's better suited to you, don't attempt to dominate and control her instead.

Most people do run from this, I'm hypothesising but I think the correlation probably comes from authenticity viewpoint. People consider this period to be the bit where a relationship goes from just fun into something serious and committed. It would make sense that people want to be absolutely sure their partner loves them, (even the negative parts of them) before things get properly serious.

In that sense it's not necessarily born out of dishonesty, it's born out of not wanting to go forwards without full disclosure. Would it not be more dishonest to instead never tell a person? Do you fully disclose any of the things that make you fucked up before you even get into a relationship with someone? - I know a few somewhat insecure people who fall in love rather easily who do this, it tends not to work out very well for them.

There's a time and a place for the serious stuff to come out, it's when the relationship starts to become a serious thing. The early stages are all fun, play and light.

There's layers to people and those deepest layers are the last to come out, they are usually the things that have affected us most in life. Shaped us. Even if you've gotten over your horrors they are still there, they still make you who you are.

yawn, cant be assed readin ur thread. i know me, and i know that u allow ur bird that freedom, given the opportunity, i can get her to cheat on u

its the same with everythin

BE A MAN, TAKE CONTROL! why does it differ in a relationship? u dont have to be controlling, but if you let ur girl run wild, she wont respect u

there are some rules a man should take charge of

END OF!!

You're welcome to try all you want. Seems a bit like that other disagreement though, never did send me any seductresses did you?