Quote:
Originally Posted by GenePoole
Never met a girl who actually asked me that. Are you friends with exes?
You could take reflexes line and play it back against them, say you have an ex coming over for dinner one night but that's just as likely to piss them off as well.
The issue is that in your head it's not really fine for her to go off and meet exes, that's your line (it's my line too) but you don't want to say yes go for it and then dump her because you like her.
If there's one thing you should have learned from PUA or this site, it is to flip things round so you have to ask yourself the same questions, imagine how you would respond if she was asking you the same questions.
It's a very close line in my book and is closely intertwined with whether you develop emotions or just want to fuck them.
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Well I would NOT be okay with my girl meeting exs...
As for talking to exs, I have to judge it.. example - if a girl has a kid with another dude... shit gets different
As for talking to dudes, fuck knows. It bothers me, yet I know it shouldn't. Most likely because of shitty past experiences.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil
i defo dont have this nailed! infact i laffed readin it coz i know it well.
one thing i would do! is remember yourself now... how you act in certain situations & hopefully keep urself in that person.
if you feel urself losin it... take some time out!
while your wer u are now, think of diff situations where u acted how u wish you wouldnt & work out why ask yourself questions.
then when u work out why it should help.
but honestly! i think the reason is u are convinced a gir will cheat on u
but... if you can just think
"why the fuck would she cheat on me, im amazin" if you can remain the person u are she never will
its just insecurity. if ur cool tho, she isnt gonna cheat is she... why would she, she picked you to 4 keeps.
hopefully my next i will be better at.
and reflex it was down to the fact i felt i didnt wanna lose my youth. ive done most shit now.
but no im certainly not the best for relationship advice POST emotion, dont have much experience.
just try and remember who u are! that is all.
ALSO know that no matter what happens, it will all end up ok !
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I think you're right Phil. I am convinced I will get cheated on. Every girl I've ever been with has fucked me over in some way, not feeling sorry for myself just stating a fact, so this is fucking with my head.
A girl becomes completely devoted to me, and it is so clear, yet I am in denial and refuse to accept she will be faithful. I realise it is destructive and shit.
I'm probably also scared because I've been there and done the cheating myself. I know exactly how easy it is to do it and get away with it without even letting on at all that it's happening, so my mind is always suspicious of women's actions. A stupid example - girl takes her phone in the kitchen, my thoughts: shit, whys she took it in there? has she got a message from someone? When the fact is she was just on facebook or some shit.
All I ever find myself doing is analysing women, their actions, to see if they are being deceitful in any way shape or form. If she is slightly off with me, I don't assume she is cheating but I do feel mega uncomfortable and start wondering if her problem is with me or not. If she then tells me the problem is her own issue, I feel completely better instantly.
I seem to seek value from women. I need them to be happy with me, I need to be impressing them, I can't bare the thought of things being shitty in a relationship cos I'm scared she'll go off and cheat, so any awkward or crappy moments/arguments make me paranoid or panic.
All this shit is draining me, and also fucking with my head when I've got this degree to do..
I'm seeing a girl now, a couple months in now, she seems amazing LTR potential, so I don't wana fuck this up. Problem is, she already knows about my fucking insecurities after all the deep talks we've had. And she knows I dislike her chatting to dudes (though I don't stop her doing it, but she feels guilty doing it).. she knows I have trust issues because of my exs..
I feel quite vulnerable because she knows about all this shit because I told her in the long deep conversations..