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(#1)
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FR: Online dating -
26-01-2011, 07:30 PM
Just went on a date with someone I went online. First thing, that I'm sure everyone is aware of (and if you're not then listen up), women save up their best pictures so they invariably look at least slightly different in person.
So prepared by listening to some good music and getting in state. I had arranged to meet at a coffee shop just down the street from me. I've done the coffee shop date a couple of times now and I've found it completely kills my state. It's too quiet and if you're waiting then generally you read the paper or something. I may try this once more and take my ipod before I completely right it off. Conversation was pleasant but I wasn't my usual cocky, funny self (probably down to not being in state). I did absolutely no kino apart from when she left when I gave her a hug. I am gonna have to force myself to do kino even when not in state. Think I will have to practice some day game to get over that awkwardness. Secondly it was my day off today so I'd just chilled and had no social interactions. Will try going out and at least talking to a few random people if this happens again. Let me know what you think guys. I'd appreciate the input. Rock n roll.     
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(#2)
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26-01-2011, 11:23 PM
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For a week listen to some good music and imagine yourself getting into state. as you start to feel more confident link this emotion with a physical gesture such as rubbing the palm of your right hand with your left index finger. repeat this process for 10 minutes over 7 days. these two processes will then become linked in your subconscious - think pavlov's dog. if you ever need a boost in state you can then use this gesture to give you the boost you require. I just made that up. sounds like your using this being 'in state' thing as excuse.
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(#3)
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27-01-2011, 07:11 AM
Hey at least you are aware that this coffee shop thing isn't working, so switch it up a bit. I like to wait until I have to go somewhere and then just take them with me e.g. food/clothes shopping, a film I want to see, or a pub i like to go etc etc
You are coming from a completely different headspace when you're doing what you would do anyway, takes the pressure off you & her. There is in complete contrast to meeting a new person for coffee, it just makes it unnecessarily awkward IMO. Another thing ill say about meeting up is just to ASSUME and treat her like you have known her for ages, this will allow your natural self to come out easier and you wont feel like you have to be cocky/funny coz it will happen anyway. Hope that helps :-)
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(#4)
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27-01-2011, 01:29 PM
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If you noticed i posted an Online field report but mine went the total opposite to yours, Ive had loads go like yours though. Ive also found establishing Kino difficult with these dates. I think the Venue and lack of Kino, plus interrogation style questioning have been problems i have had in the past. My thoughts are - Venue -- do somthing wacky and random where you can get touchy feely. Ice Skating for example - kino/emotional arousal all acompany being out of her comfort zone - plus she sees the fun side of you. If you feel More confident-- hit a fashionable Bar and dance with her--let her see your confidence (if you dance like a muppet avoid) Both sat in a quiet coffee shop engaging the logical sides of her brain is an uphill struggle. and in my opinion gets you hit with the 'there was no spark' response
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(#5)
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27-01-2011, 01:45 PM
First off it's a no-brainer that the girl is going to look dissapointing in real life compared to her best profile snap.
Secondly, take a girl to a place you want to go. If you like bars then do that, art galleries then do that, etc. Third. You shouldn't be thinking about getting into state for a date. Sure get yourself fired up, but thinking that 'state' is holding back your kino is not the point. It is you who is holding yourself back from escalating for fear of rejection.
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(#6)
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27-01-2011, 03:43 PM
I would only online date if I wanted a shag becaus its almost like a blind date and what ur probably getting is someone who cant pull normally (at work, out and about, friend introductions, bars and clubs etc) so physical and psychological issues alarms would be ringing in my head. Would much rather have the free choice and abundance of cold approach pickup. I'd be worried about settling for someone if u start going down the online dating route. Why compromise when you can just have what you want. Sarge!
 The Fuckest Uppest
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(#7)
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27-01-2011, 05:39 PM
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Kowalski, totally agree. But she doesn't drink so no chance. I'd tried that suggestion first. Nova, again agree. I know it's me that is holding me back. I just find kino easier when I'm firing on all cylinders. Maxemillion. I do sarge just wanted to mix things up a little. Don't agree about them all being damaged goods though. I've met some pretty cool people that I would say are definitely normal (whatever that means). Thanks for your comments guys. As usual really useful. Rock n roll
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(#8)
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28-01-2011, 03:37 PM
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Also another note, don't let it be a suggestion, let it be a decission - 'We're going here'.
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(#9)
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28-01-2011, 04:39 PM
Drinking is fun.
People who never drink creep me out. Join me, fellow alcohol lovers. United we stand against "oooh I'll just have a glass of tap water... oooh with ice and lemon" and skinny mockachino double lattes. Mines a double. Vodka. PS this drinking thing doesn't have to be done to the excess of becoming steaming. Enjoyable and sociable without that extreme every time.
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