My goal to 50 approaches - Page 4 - PUA Forums - The UK's Leading Pick-up Artist Forum

MikeH0ck · 29-07-2018, 04:43 PM

Sunday, no approaches.

Still went for a walk around town, saw a couple of maybes, but didn't approach due to apathy. As I said they were "maybes".

There weren't many people around due to wind and rain anyway.

I had a look in some supermarkets, nothing about really.

But I must keep the momentum going. I really need to work on my "spur of the moment" approaches.

These are where I will meet most women day to day, mainly in the supermarket.

But it is also when I am "out of state".

MikeH0ck · 29-07-2018, 09:05 PM

Interesting post, a lot of that is contrary to what I've seen in day gaming videos though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony77

Firstly dude let me say, good for you in going out and taking action. I understand only too well about anxiety and being in your head. Let me ask you something, before you approach, what is going on inside your head? Remember the girl is like your mirror so if you feel uncertain, nervous and scared she will just reflect this back.

If you're going to go direct, make sure you show some empathy "hey this might sound a bit forward/random" "i'm a bit nervous...." The reason women are walking away or blanking you is because you're putting too much pressure on them too soon to make a decision. Hence they're not comfortable. Your frame seems to be a bit submissive "please like me" Where is your masculine, dominant energy?

From what I understand, the best way to show dominant energy is to get right in front of them and stop them dead in their tracks. At least that's what all the day game videos say.

I am not needy at all.

A bad approach is better than no approach! The chick that blanked me was just rude. I even gave her another chance by reapproaching but she didn't want to know.

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Also when you approach, do you smile and give women space? because you do not want to invade their space. This is why women move away because they don't feel comfortable. You have to think you're just a stranger and they just aren't comfortable talking to you yet because you haven't put them at ease. This is the problem with direct, most guys think that going direct will magically make women's panties drop but if there is even a slight hint you're not confident I'm sorry to say they will feel creeped out. This does not mean to say you're a creep but something you have done, your non verbals have made her feel uneasy.

I find smiling weird, but I leave at least a metre of space. Often, I'll command them in a masculine way.

If that's not confident I don't know what is! I try to remain as dominating as possible.

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Look, in a shop I really don't recommend going direct. Lets take a supermarket for example. What is in a supermarket apart from people shopping? all kinds of produce, like fruit and veg, meat, crisps, chocolate, drinks etc! Anyone in there is carrying a basket or wheeling a trolley full of stuff, so it makes no sense to go direct! This is not a social environment. I'm not saying its impossible but just be smart here! You have an abundance of material to use in that environment if you open your eyes and use your observation skills!

From what I've seen on the videos and in the comment sections, the general wisdom is that going indirect is "hiding intent" and thus sets off a massive "creep alarm".

The reason I've approached her isn't to do with her shopping, I could care less about that, I've approached her because I am attracted to her on an instinctual level.

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Think up some funny lines too if purely for self amusement. Its said you can open with anything but try using some cheeky funny lines because it will really help the flow of the interaction especially in the beginning. Something I use in a museum/art gallery if a woman is looking at a painting is I'll say "hey you like my work? it took me ages to do that and that little kid/old man kept moving" 9 times out of 10 I guarantee she will laugh. Just make sure you don't come across as too serious. If however she is not looking at a painting but say an old building (n.b I work in a big old city, lots of Historic buildings) so I might say "do you like my house, I would let you in but I'm sure you're house trained"

One step ahead of you bud!

One of my favourite's is "I love you" or to gesture to her and say "Wow!". Or to blatantly say "I'm approaching you because I find you quite pretty".

It's the approach that counts, not the out come!

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Something else you can try on the street is ask for directions then go direct. So for example you can say "excuse me do you know where starbucks is?" so she starts to tell you then you can say "actually I have to confess I just thought you looked attractive and didn't know what else to say" then carry on talking.

What you're doing right now is too overwhelming for women. "hey you look incredible" what else do you want them to say? some may say "thanks" then the predictable walk away because they are not comfortable! Now if you had built some social comfort first, added some humour, maybe get to know them a little bit as well as sharing stuff about you then these girls might have actually atleast stayed for a bit.

If you don't go direct, what is your reason for approaching her!?

Again, all the material that I've read suggests that going indirect puts you on a hiding to nothing. You aren't learning to be up front with a chick at all by going indirect.

Asking for directions is the oldest trick in the book and chicks lose a lot of respect for guys that aren't masculine enough to go direct. It's the definition of creepy!

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Something else I see missing from your approaches is Qualifying! This is a massive piece in the pick up! You have to screen whether a woman meets your standards and if she is worth your time. For example "are you cool" "I hope you don't just got out and get wasted every night" It might be a good idea to write down a list of attributes you like in a woman and not just physical but personality qualities.

That's a waste of time because a lot of the women I approach seem to be married/engaged/in a relationship.

It hardly ever gets that far due to the above mentioned reasons.

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Out of interest dude where are you based?

South east.

MikeH0ck · 29-07-2018, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony77

Hey man, good stuff otherwise! I cannot justify going out, spending money on travel fare if i'm not going to approach. If I'm not in state, i will warm up by chatting to shop assistants, read some funny jokes online and just smiling. Smiling and laughter have a positive psychological effect and can work almost immediately.

I also find that if I'm horny and I see a hot girl I feel less hesitant. But in this moment when you are just work on your observation skills, make notes, write stuff down that you could use in the future.!

In the supermarket, as per my reply, please give situational a go, use some humour, get come conversation going then make a statement of intent. Not saying Direct won't work but many women suffer from social anxiety so direct could spook them. But if you do go direct make sure you show some empathy "I realise you're doing your shopping, and this may sound a little forward but I thought you looked really attractive and had to come and say hi" then follow up with some assumptions. "You look like you're really glad you've just finished work, probably had a lot of meetings and posting messages on facebook" lol

I didn't spend any money on travel fare as I approach in my local town.

Trust me, there weren't any targets around, it was winding and pissing with rain.

The way I see it, indirect/situational is just for people who are afraid of rejection. You actually NEED rejections to make you stronger.

Also, it's a complete myth that being horny makes you more likely to approach. Read my thread on my experience with that nofap load of bollocks.

Being horny just leads to neediness in the best case or rapey vibes in the worst case.

http://www.puaforums.co.uk/general-c...nce-nofap.html

Going direct shows confidence and as you said in your previous post non confident techniques like not going direct will set off their creep alarm.

dan300 · 30-07-2018, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeH0ck

It's the approach that counts, not the out come!

Haha so why you doing it again?

kowalski · 30-07-2018, 09:14 AM

Guys, stop derailing the thread -
https://www.strangerdimensions.com/2...er-dimensions/

Peace,

kowalski

MikeH0ck · 30-07-2018, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony77

Look it's not about hiding your intent! I've got laid from indirect and direct! If you're getting responses like "leave me alone" or they say they have a boyfriend then you're doing something wrong. That's not to say the girl in question is lying because she might well have a boyfriend.

What videos have you seen where the guy doesn't show empathy? if it's working for them it's probably because they're advanced and confident.

I'm just trying to get the balance right. To approach in the street if you don't go in guns blazing then you just get ignored.

So I really don't know what to do.

I'm not sure about showing empathy, I know you are not supposed to react too much to the woman's response otherwise it seems unmanly.

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Women don't really have a preference on if they should be approached indirect or direct. They just want a confident guy to approach them and not freak them out. They want the approach to seem as normal as possible. Whatever method you use rejection is inevitable but if it's happening a lot then you really have to look at how you're approaching because something obviously isn't working.

Well it's hard not to freak them out and at the same time get their attention. Otherwise you get too much in your head and overthink things, then try to go in a say a million things at once and start talking too fast.

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saying "Wow" to a girl to indicate she is hot just seems a bit supplicating to me. It's quite low value and doesn't demonstrate any masculine qualities. Although this can depend on your vibe and tonality.

Yeah I know, but I struggle to get the approach done if I overthink it too much.

I try to say it in a sort of jokey way, I might not always pull it off.

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The thing about smiling is that it's non threatening. It really depends on how you smile. I think it's weird if you don't smile when you don't approach. I have a natural friend who does pretty well and he always smiles when he approaches.

If the weather is bad I usually go into shops, museums or a shopping centre.

Smiling might be non threatening but surely it's also low value to smile at the chick?

Like you want her to like you if you smile.

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I really recommend watching Bradicus and Evolution Daily youtube infield videos. Both of these guys teach indirect daygame.

[/quote]

Yes I watch both of them and they are the guys who I base my "vibe" on.

I've learnt a lot from their videos.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dan300

Haha so why you doing it again?

Getting laid from it seems like such a pipe dream at the moment so right now my focus is on doing it like a game.

Self amusement as they call it.

MikeH0ck · 30-07-2018, 07:51 PM

Anyway I did a couple today.

One young girl at the train station who worked at a bar until midnight (so at least I knew she was legal).

I hesitated around a fair bit until I finally approached her. I walked near her, then back away, then pretended to look at the information display, before finally approaching.

The conversation was so one sided it was beyond belief, but for some reason I kept it going until she got a phone call which I think she was relieved to get.

I opened indirect asking her which train she was getting, didn't even give her a compliment because the conversation wasn't going anywhere.

I was asking all the questions and she just wasn't interested at all, I should have made a move to get outta that one.

Then the train came and she got on.

Approach 2

An older Polish lady actually on the train (quite ballsy for me but it was quite a quiet train for a change)

This one felt much more natural, I asked her which way she was going, talked about what we each did for work, exchanged names etc, kept it going until she got off at her stop and it felt quite good and natural.

I did say Polish ladies were the prettiest, so quite a weak general compliment there, but expressed interest none the less.

This just felt like a normal and natural conversation, much better than the young girl at the train station.

Approach 3 (aborted)

Saw a younger chick in Sainsbury's when I got back to my local town, first saw her talking to one of her colleagues (she was off duty but worked there)

I did a couple walk bys but from her face she looked 16, although her body which a nice figure, so I didn't approach her.

From the brief glimpses I got of her face she looked really young, I couldn't really tell, so I didn't approach.

Maybe I should have just approached, but say what? How can I go low pressure, but direct?

Anyway, I'm really not sure whether or not I should have approached her, from behind she looked early-mid 20s, but from her face she looked young, this seems to be my biggest anxiety is age related.

It feels kinda awkward if I've just complimented a 16 or 17 year old girl on her figure, ya know?

kowalski · 30-07-2018, 08:26 PM

Going out to everyone who loves improv comedy - Everything is Alive

Peace,

kowalski

kowalski · 31-07-2018, 09:34 AM

Tom Torrero! Tony is so full of shit. If you don't think Torrero is creepy, you have 0 social skills and are a virgin. Don't even know or care who the others are.

Peace,

kowalski

MikeH0ck · 31-07-2018, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony77

Please never approach any girl who looks young. Its not worth it! 16/17 is way too fucking young even if you're in your 20s. I was at the checkout in the queue and there was this young girl on the check out. This old guy, probably in his 50s tried chatting her up "I've not seen you here before" Cringey and creepy! Don't ever do this. I could see the discomfort in her face and poor girl obviously couldn't escape.

It might be a good idea to get some coaching. You got guys like Street Attraction, James Tusk and even Tom Torrero.

I'm not really impressed by your tone here.

Who made you the moral police?

It's not illegal to talk to an underaged girl (even though 16+ is legal).

I've approached a 15 year old girl before and that was in front of a load of people waiting at the bus stop!

It's just a bit of fun and nothing wrong with approaching.

There is no point in having age anxiety.

Read Dan300's day game diary where he worries about approaching based on age and then realises there's nothing to worry about.

And DON'T forget, it's impossible to exactly guess a woman's age.

If you pussy out of approaching chicks who look too young that pretty much means you are limiting yourself to chicks 35+.