Was tired and buzzing at the same time from the previous night (Thursday).

headed for the crowds in the City. It was quite a nice day.

Unfortunately by the time I got there I could already feel the buzz draining away from me and being replaced by self doubting thoughts and tension in my guts.

I went to a quiet area of a coffee shop. I wasn't feeling in the mood for this at all. Considered going home then got annoyed with myself for giving up so easily so I went walking again.

I couldn't seem to find a suitable target to get started. Every situation just felt wrong somehow. Eventually I went for a beer and listened to tunes on the player at full volume. This did help a bit.

From where I was sitting I could see two women chatting at a table outside (I was inside on the other side of a large window). The one who was facing me did make eye contact. But I couldn't find the nerve to approach them. Every possible excuse not to approach came up.

Eventually left there and spotted a girl sitting on a park bench. I sat down, opened and we had a brief conversation.

If I had had more energy I think I could have picked up better on the hooks she was giving me and ran with them a bit.

Quite a few silences, it fizzled out and she left. Said she was meeting someone.

Later on I shared a table near at busy bar with a mid-age couple. I opened and we ended up having a really long and wide ranging conv (over 2 hours) and drinks.

It was kind of weird because when the guy was away for a bit she asked me to sit closer to her and pinched my nose. She was a bit tipsy by then.

I said my goodbyes and left soon after that (wise decision I think).

On the train home there was a real cutie standing in front with her back to me (train was quite crowded).

The train suddenly lurched and she fell back against me. She apologised and I just smiled. In that second it was my perfect opportunity to open. Three issues came up for me 1) I had my earphones in with music blaring so wasn't quite ready to talk 2) there would have been an audience to any interaction, 3) I couldn't think what to say.

All in all a bit a strange day. I never got in state.

But trying to take the positives that at least I didn't give up even though I had wanted to.

If you've read my night game reports you will see it's going much better than my daygame. My main problem is I don't see myself clubbing much anymore.

I am quite a good dancer and I've been complimented a few times on it by women I don't know but there comes a time when you have to bow out of the dancing scene.

That time has come but I still love the atmosphere of a club. The loud music, the excitement. But it is to day game I must turn my attention!

But it's as hard as fuck. It seems a bit unnatural...in the daylight when I've got a semi as I approach a gorgeous chic. Yes there are targets available in the day but the titanium shields are up/. The approach feels like jumping off a cliff.

I've not given up on cold day approaches but it's the toughest part of my game at the moment.

I think a good plan is having a paper map with you or a google map on the phone. Then when you ask directions they have to get quite close beside you to look at the map. That's the opportunity to get chatting.

Thanks K,

I have, or at least I've been looking for them and read a few. I've been trawling the site since I joined. There's a lot of good stuff that has helped.

Basically I'm getting on better when I'm half pissed but I'm still pretty rubbish sober when e.g. I pass a 9 or 10 in the street or the supermarket, I don't open them. I keep getting the feeling I'm being creepy. Which probably makes me come across as creepy.

I read the book 'Day Bang' which was quite good I thought. There's a lot on logistics which seems a key thing. The daytime seems the great unexplored wilderness. And it needs to be a big part for me as I don't go clubbing.

Can you direct me to any specific posts day game posts that you had in mind?

Daygame can be hard as fuck. I still struggle a lot of the time despite starting a daygame thread in November.

It helps to see it done. Find a wing on The Daygame Cafe - Index

If possible will you post a link to a free download of this ebook on Android.

I thought I'd got it twice from 2 different sources but after downloading I got "the system does not support this file"

I've downloaded ebooks before though, it's possible.

Thanks Dan,

I bought the book (I was so keen to learn about daygame). So I don't have a link or know where you could get one. Soz.

As you'd expect there's no magic formula.

But it's quite good in setting out possible ways how you can get from being, e.g. in a coffee shop or on a train to getting a date and eventually a 'bang' as suggested in the title.

The initial warning in the book is that during the day most women are not expecting to be engaged by a man they don't know, so their guard is down (good). But on the other hand that guard is instantly raised if they think someone is hitting on them (bad).

In the UK it's almost taboo to speak to strangers unless you have a very good reason. Like if I say to a woman in London, "excuse me" they immediately assume you are trying to sell them something and body swerve you.

It has to be quite natural. In other words you need a believable reason to be talking to them. The blow out rate seems very high. But with the shit awful AA I'm getting I can't even get to the point of testing that out.

The opener and logistics are crucial I think, much much more than in nightgame.

The best one I had so far was a girl outside an office building smoking and playing with her phone. I opened with, "is that a good phone, I'm thinking of getting one of those?" and we had quite a good conversation until she had to go back to work. Didn't close but that's the kind of example the book sets out.

I've noticed there are a lot of HB's outside office buildings smoking and playing with their phones any day in the week. I think it's just a matter of being more creative than in nightgame (and of course doing it sober).

Another one is you are planning to cook a meal (real or imaginary but real is better) and in the supermarket you find an HB, e.g. in the spice aisle and ask her advice. If she's receptive you progress onto talking about where she's going on holiday, yada yada yada.

I suppose anyone can make up their own technique and that's even better than a book because it's tailored for your circumstances and style of delivery.

But the book helps as a start.

Update 2/9/13

I had a look at the daygame café link.

A poster on there was saying he thought the opener was almost irrelevant in daygame because he reckoned the girls aren't expecting it so they don't take it in or if they do forget what it was 10 seconds later if a conv starts. It's merely a signal to get their attention. That seems to make sense, so 'hi' seems as good as anything else.

But what about the follow up, direct, open question or comment?. How about 'why do you think I think you are so hot?'. Or should I just not think at all what I'm going to say?

1) EC but a non-approach due to moving vehicle - early this morning, walking to the train station, this woman rubbernecked to look at me as she was driving past in the opposite direction. I thought maybe she thought I was somebody she knows. Kicking myself for not waving or something. If I had only had a spike strip I could have stopped the car and then done the approach.

2) Hot woman walking with two kids riding their scooters. I said something funny about the kids and she laughed. Said she needed a scooter for herself. Great response but I expected she was married. Still I could have chatted a bit. Fuck why didn't I.

3) The only other opportunity was in the supermarket this evening where there was a pretty good looking blonde stacking the shelves. As she came around the corner I caught her eye but for some reason I moved behind the biscuit rack instead of saying hi. Shit, why did I do that.


Need to be more spontaneous and stop thinking and follow up!

You are complicating things. Just say: 'Hi, I just saw you walk past and think you are hot/cute...' any combination of what you are thinking of her in that moment.

It's fail-safe because it's completely genuine. Fuck thinking up cool smooth things to follow up with, it'll only hold you back and put you right up in your head where you don't wanna be. You wanna be there present, in front of the girl giving her your 100% attention.

Got it.

3/9/13

Not much to report on. Felt rubbish today. Probably cause I'm trying to quit smoking.

At the gym tonight walked past a woman who smiled at me as I went past, I gave a sort of half smile back. I'd just come off the xtrainer so my head was a bit scrambled.

It's only after we were passed each other I remembered I had said hi to a woman in the car park last week. I think it was her, but I didn't recognise her in her gym kit and red-faced from her workout.

Hopefully will see her there again and introduce myself this time.

4/9/13 - Wednesday

I've tried lunch break gaming a few times before but AA usually got the better of me and would end up just walking around looking then go back...feeling rotten. Since I got up this morning I was feeling chipper and weather was great so I went out lunch break to give it another go.

While walking along I got barged from behind by a bloody jogger. It made me angry, not a good state for approaching I thought, but with hindsight I think it actually helped release some of the tension.

I chickened out on a few then noticed this slender cute girl in a summer dress walking beside me about 6 feet away. We were walking about the same speed (a light stroll) and I could see she wasn't rushing like the workers, so she must be a tourist, American I thought for some reason.

When I got close enough and slightly in front of her I lifted my sunglasses and said "excuse me". She turned her head to look and lifted her sunglasses as well, then I said "I saw you walking along there and just wanted to tell you I think you are really cute"

We were still walking side by side at this time but a bit slower.

She said in a cute American accent "Oh that's nice, thank you". It sounded warm and genuine. I said "no problem". Then she put her sunglasses back down, speeded up her walking slightly and walked on.

A short while later I passed a hot babe with great legs sitting on a bench flicking through a magazine. I walked passed, bottled it, then 50 yards on I thought, fuck it, I'm going back. I went back and sat down next to her and said hi. She said hi back. It was a lot of work trying to get a conversation going. The silences seemed like minutes but were probably 4 or 5 seconds. But she seemed to be enjoying it. I didn't get the impression she had any intention of moving away and she responded well to everything I said. She just didn't give me much to go on.

There was some small talk and it progressed a bit. She wasn't a tourist, she worked in the city but lived outside (same as me). There was some common ground.

I was running out of steam, so I tried for the number, saying I had to get back to work and was late. She said she was 'with someone'. I take it she meant she had a bf. So I said it was nice meeting her anyway and left.

There were a few possible 'bench approaches' after that on the way back but I was still thinking about the previous one so didn't bother.

On the whole I felt quite positive. I got the feeling that these were still quite nervy first steps but I learned a lot from them. I can feel my brain slowly rewiring itself to the belief there is nothing to fear from being bold.

I reminded myself as well that I'm not looking for any outcomes at this stage only looking to be completely present and curious about how the process works in practice (I've read all the books).

I know it wouldn't be good for me to overanalyse these approaches at the moment.

I'm sure that as I relax a bit more at each one it'll get better and the outcomes will sort themselves out.

I've challenged myself to double it to four approaches tomorrow.

I think you need to learn not to be in your head all the time. Such instances where you say you "ran out of things to say" "over-analysing" (I was/am guilty of). I've seen in some of your posts that you almost come up with excuses for a) not approaching b) not going out. Whilst some reasons are fair i.e. illness, just remember that you need to stop yourself from giving in to those excuses or else it will become a pattern, break the trend, go out when your ill, meeting someone and having a good time would probably make you feel better anyway.

Your post today about the girl on the bench, if I was in your position when she said "I'm with someone" I wouldn't have stopped the conversation (she was opening up to you a little) and exited because I assumed she had a boyfriend, she was showing you resistance to see how you'd respond. And even if she has a boyfriend, can a girl not make new friends? - Don't exit immediately when confronted with slight resistance.

The silence between comments is your friend. I remember 1 of the first dates I went on after hearing that silences between talking is fine. I basically took this girl on a walk and a drink after. During the walk we'd be talking, random stuff, thinking about it I think she was a dedicated animal/environmental lover so god knows what we were talking about. Anyway, I decided that I would pause and count 5 seconds in my head, then initiate conversation again, increasing the seconds and also decreasing. It added more tension and suspense to the conversation, gave her mind a little time to wander.

Other's might think differently but for the way I approach things, my personality etc... the silence is great.


Like your challenging progression, also try to counteract slight resistance, what's the worst that can happen?