I have to agree with Stein here, wading through the depths of shite that is the daily mail in order to build a collection of possible connection points is compromising your own standards as a human being since you are pretending to be somebody you're not. And that there is what makes it a bit of a dick move I'm afraid. Whilst you're probably right in that you might be able to spark up more of a conversation from more common conversational topics, the quality of conversation you've got there is fairly lackluster. And to me, nothing is more of a turn off that talking to a girl that's clearly got nothing between the ears.

That being said, I respect the fact that you've posted an opinion on you're experience and taken the criticism with an intellectual argument, something which is oddly counter intuitive to your post (he he he).

I don't agree with what you said sir, but damn shall I fight to the death your right to say it.

How is it not? You said yourself So therefore why bring this up with some girl you like the look of? Not only is it a compromise of your own integrity but your judging the girl already on the assumption she's interested in gossip rags on no basis whatsoever.

Cool, do that then, at least its more authentic to who you are.

Why does it have to be so extreme. Have you thought about just bringing up the weather or something the girl is wearing that's sparked your interest. You don't have to talk about your favourite French film director straight away.

What a contradiction. By your own admission celeb gossip isn't a interest of yours so how would it even be common ground? Having polar opposite interests is perfectly acceptable, maybe your missing this point?

I would agree and would also say that when I've been in these situations never once was the common ground found in trivial celeb gossip.

So you compromised your own values on something you openly eschewed at the behest of garnering female attention. This makes you sound like a pussyhound.

Its neither of those things. It's nonsense.

How? It's a lie, you will get found out and you will look stupid.

Unfortunately there's a mountain of guys that will eat this shit up in an effort to get the glorious prize of the golden diamond encrusted vagina.

Thought so.

It's all about what u are willing to do to engage women. Personally I couldn't be assed reading about shit I like... Never mind for someone else's benefit.

Women like reality tv coz they are retarded

Wow, why do I feel like Ive just submitted the first draft of Mein Kampf? I wrote that article with a view to it being irreverent and fun, instead I'm challenging people integrity, talk about hitting wide of the mark. Listen, the title was the art of small talk, not 'Mastering the female mind' not 'A shit hot opener', and most certainly not 'The definitive guide to getting her out of those panties and into your bed'. The way some of you are reacting, its like I'm trying to hawk copies of 'Fuck Yourself Skinny: The Reality TV Diet - You'll be getting so much poon you wont have time to eat!'. For the record, Ive never seen an episode of Essex Chelsea ETC (And I should have given my brother has been a director on both of those shows), I'm merely saying that sometimes it can be helpful to align you interests (even if only for 30 seconds) with the very people your trying to succeed with, fancy that!

It seems some of you are just operating on blind confirmation bias principles. Ive trawled a few articles and the most popular ones seem to be offering the same advice that The Game was peddling ten years ago. The accepted collective wisdom of the forum seems to be:

Act Alpha.
Approach until exhausted and it becomes second nature
Look as good as you can.

Now I don't mean to offend, but Neil Strauss wrote TWO books that Cliffnotes could have summarised using those three sentences (Or there abouts, lets not forget the first one was also a hugely enjoyable read). Well, guess what, I already do all those things, and I'm pretty damn successful at what I do, but I'm by no means perfect. Why not try something new, break some fresh ground, there's no harm in trying and chalking it down to experience. If someone here is approaching and closing with a 100% record then shit son, Ill quit the day job and start selling his book door to door this very day. I'm not interested in remaining competent, I want perfection, which means being prepared for all manner of situations.

Ultimately, this has gone a little deeper than I first intended, but its a straight fight between exploratory thought and confirmatory thought. IT seems any ideas peddled that are new and a little alien to some of you are dismissed as they dont conform to the ideas you've all studied over the last decade on how to pick up women. Best case scenario you're creating a cookie cutter shaped impression of yourself that while has indeed bred some success is by no means fool proof. If you're all playing the same game, someone is going to lose. Explore and evolve, but more importantly keep an open mind, and always always stay fresh.

Did you know two thirds of all adult conversations are made up of gossip of some kind, and that furthermore its primary function is the building and maintenance of social relationships. Think about that next time you dismiss the trivial 'who's fucking who's' reported in the Mail as integrity damaging.

Not that anyone cares, but my only exposure to the cast of any of these reality shows is what I read about them, but admitting you know who someone is hardly makes you a loser, AND even if it does, hell, Ill play that loser card, Ive done it before. The difference is you do it on your own terms when you've already established yourself as being someone who is comfortable with who they are and doesn't give two flying fucks what people think. 'Matthew McConaughey Rom Com's are like crack rocks to me' is a line Ive used countless times, always gets a laugh. Id actively develop a willingness to not take yourself to seriously, being willing to laugh at yourself and to share embarrassing stories is an attractive quality that breeds the bonds of great chemistry. I'm not saying tell every girl who'll listen about your deepest insecurities, but at the same time don't be bashful about discussing something that maybe isn't all that cool. Its humanising and more importantly funny, people like to laugh, just make sure you pick the moments that they laugh with and more importantly AT you.


Sorry if Ive offended anyone, shit Im a visitor here and didnt really intend to waltz in guns blazing, after all, he who shouts loudest doesn't have the biggest dick. I was simply putting something out there I found amusing/interesting with the intention of killing a few minutes of your day. Agree or disagree, that's fine, just dont be a dick about it. Call it a gut reaction to being dismissed without what I feel is any degree of fairness. Sure I can take 'fair enough , not for me dude' but to flat out say its damaging to your integrity is a little much to take. I'm at ease with who I am integrity intact, and jesus when a girl has nothing between her ears it is indeed a real turn off Ill agree, but I still want to create some rapport with said person, even if it amounts to little more than an illusion. Surely you can all understand that different people operate in different ways, self improvement is a long and complicated process that involves being open minded and trying things you might otherwise dismiss and find uncomfortable doing. You're a fool if you think you can make the entire world beat to the sound of your own drum, we all make compromises, but that doesn't for a second mean you are not being true to yourself. If by putting myself out there and trying to offer some amusing advice ive somehow become a bad person then fuck, guilty right here, at least I can feel safe in the knowledge that I havent poured over the words of someone who's opinions I dont agree with and dissected each sentence they've volunteered to further my counter argument.

Just for the record in case this has all been misinterpreted. I'm not saying all women watch shit TV and are hounds for gossip so verse yourself in it as best you can. I was simply volunteering that having a basic knowledge of it can be useful if you find yourself in a situation wherein its being discussed or brought up. Simple as. You're right, you could just say 'Fuck no I dont watch that shit' thats fine, you can lampoon them for doing so instead, thats good to. I'm just saying scratching the surface of something that you know a large portion of the population is interested in can have some positive outcomes further down the line. More importantly Im not saying YOU MUST DO THIS TO SUCCEED. I honestly dont know what drives each and every one of you, and I dont know what your motivation was for first signing up to this forum. I only know that I came here to learn, offer some pearls Ive found useful along the way, and to try and understand a few like minded souls outlooks on the world of social dynamics. I certainly didnt sign up with the intention of offending anyone or for that matter being dismssed for having an opinion. Sheeeit. Im sure you're all nice deep down.

Faust Out

This is a good laugh. Thats about it.

I actually don't mind things like the voice and x factor, I think it's the fact I have a self created opinion on the acts that I'm no bitch boy. If you go out your way to find out about things you don't enjoy just to please others, unless you're genuinely curious, you are compromising your identity.

I won't bother watching or creating a a decent opinion on TOWIE and something like celebrity juice because in my eyes they are all cretins of the earth. And guess what I cant tell people that.

First off chill out. We aren't having a go at you specifically. We're having a go at your advice. We aren't dismissing you for having an opinion, we're just explaining the problem with the opinion itself. This here is also not having a go at you, it's just explaining what's wrong with the butthurt rant you just went on.

So your defensive response is that we're being closed minded. Do you realise how simple and obvious your advice was? Try to talk about something the other persons interested in? You seriously think that on a forum where people have been going out picking up girls for years, no one has tried relating to stuff girls might be interested in or going out of their own way to talk to girls on their level? Of course we have dude. We're giving advice from experience that the other way is better for pickup and better for yourself in general.


I actually think you'll struggle to find a forum that fits less into the conventional Neil Strauss pickup model than this one. I'm baffled why you think that. I have no interest in acting alpha. I fucking am alpha. That happened by going out and figuring stuff out for myself, not just simply 'approaching until exhausted', although that's definitely a part of the process. That also doesn't mean I'm trying to act hard or cool all the time. It also doesn't mean that I 'play the loser card'. It means I act like myself. I might bond with people or relate to them, but it's not something I'm going out of my way to try to do.

There's a difference between making a compromise and spending your time reading up on inane bullshit because you think it will make people like you. Regardless of how minor you think that is it's still a diversion from your own personal integrity, and it will implicitly subcommunicate that you don't think that you're good enough to be liked just for you. Stop thinking on the surface level, think about the lower layer.

No one has a 100% success rate, that's a stupid and kind of undesirable idea when you stop and think about it. That's a childish and unrealistic thing to expect, regardless of how hard you try. I do however see it as hugely important to be congruent with my own values and honest about myself with people, regardless of whether they like me or not. Aside from anything else I don't want everyone to like me. I'd rather filter through the fakeness and bullshit and have the truly worthwhile people like me. With this kind of honesty more people tend to like you in general anyway, because they can tell you aren't bullshitting them.

I do however get laid with a level of ease that makes the whole pickup thing about as challenging as making a sandwich these days, and I know exactly how I do that. it's the same with some of the other more experienced guys on here. So yes. We know what works best from personal experience. When I read your idea my reaction wasn't 'Ugh, a new idea, SHUN!', it was 'Oh, I remember that kind of idea. So you're at that stage huh?'

Again, it wasn't about you, it was about your idea. We've seen it all before and we know what's wrong with it. People who get defensive and take it personally rarely last on here. So chill out and take our advice. It just might be good for you.

I disagree with Stein. This guy is a twat.

Stein you just saved me picking apart this guys last post.

Nailed it!

As Stein pointed out very well, it's not the poster that's the problem. It's the way he is seeing the world. Everything that's been said in this thread in response to the OP is only aimed at breaking down that reality that he has developed and that is going to slow down his self-development and growth in terms of picking up.

I've been there myself so I can see the signs and so can most guys on this forum. We could be all pussy and just not mention the elephant in the room. But That's not the way we do things on this forum.