Its been a while since I've posted something constructive so I'm gonna summarise everything I've learnt in November

Honesty
This is often mentioned but I'll eleborate on what I mean. Being truely honest is one of the best qualities you can have when attracting women. Now I'm not talking about being honest as in not lying, I'm talking about not hiding yourself. If a women is moaning about her life when you've just met and her and you're not interested - tell her. If you like or dislike something about a woman - tell her. Now this isn't to say go being really blunt, but its to say express your feelings and go for what you want. Naturally there is a fine line between being an asshole and being honest so you gotta use common sense.

Woman: "Do you think this dress suits me?"
Douche: "You look great in it"

Woman: "Do you think this dress suits me?"
Dude Mc.Cool: "Not really lol, it makes you look like a disney character, buuuut, I think you'd look real hot in this one"

Approaching isn't creepy
For a long time I've had this fear that women find it creepy when I approach them without being provoked(What does this guy want ?) however I realised something the other day. Me and my mate were walking back from sainsburys when a hot woman walked past, I didn't notice her but my mate oogled her really obviously. Pretty interesting story? Well, I realised that any attractive woman KNOWS guys are attracted to them and so by looking and not acting all you're saying to her is "I'm interested but I'm too much of a pussy to act" wheras if you made a move you'd be saying the same except that you got big hairy man balls - of steel.

Don't fear your sexuality - Unleash it!
This is another one of my hang-ups; I've always tried to hide my sexual intentions with women because I thought that was the 'gentlemen' way. After all women are always like "men are only after one thing". However being an asexual wetter leads to two things; either she believes you and you party on down to friendship zone or she suspects you and thinks you're a creep.. you're a wierdo..

Also, what's to hide? You're a human, you're a man, you're a beast! Your primary functions as a lifeform are to surive and replicate. Sex is as natural and essential as eating and sleeping yet you're not afraid or shy about those things. A woman will not think less of you for having sexual desire but she will if she thinks your manipulating her(being indirect) or if she doesn't think you're worthy and fortunately its you who makes her decide if you are or not. Anyway, you might think women like a chase, and they most definately do, but you can still do that too. She knows you're attracted to her (unless its her thats approached you) but thats only half the battle; she knows her looks are good enough but there are many prettier women than her and she still has to win your affection. Its the same with guys really - You'd soon get sick of women only being with you for your looks then leaving you(though it'd be ace while it lasted )


Now apologies if you've read stuff to this effect before, I'm just putting it into my own words to describe the way I realised it. Now to conclude, this has to be taken in context; I'm not suggesting you go around insulting women and telling them you'd like to knock boots - its push/pull, you gotta be artful, but most importantly you just gotta go for it!

Excellent post Flake. Love the sexuality section in particular. This is a real taboo subject and an area I'm working on myself. Men, even though they seem open with each other chatting about hot girls somehow have this feeling of shame when it comes to getting down to it. It is for this reason they want to somehow hide these urges.

Like you say, women will not think less of you for having these sexual desires... more to the point, they will find you more attractive for being honest about these desires. An unashamed man, is an attractive man.

Thanks guys!

What I meant was people generally feel they're honest because they're not lying but I think a lot of people hide certain feelings because they're afraid of a negative reaction. I dunno if that's really made it any clearer :P

Well put man!

How true this is! And how much it says about our culture and how it's developed? One of the greatest pleasures of life has managed to become something that is frowned upon. For example, where did the phrase 'being naughty come from' (used in a sexual context). It almost suggests that your'e doing something you shouldn't. Or when a girl tells you 'your'e being bad', as if your'e going against some kind of rules or something. I actually love it when a girl says this to me, but it does kind of make me think that there's this subconscious belief, particularly among women, that sex is actually quite dirty, and taboo even.

Very strange how different cultures view sex. Cultures that are more reserved and timid on the outside tend to be more freaky when it comes down to it, like the english.

Other cultures that are more open and extroverted tend to be actually less so. Anyone who has ever dated a Jamaican girl will vouch for this, one girl I dated was forever complaining about white guys freaky needs...

My half Persian roots view sex as a deep spiritual connection and places the woman on a pedal stool and sex revolves around the womans needs to climax. Maybe thats where I get it from.

I blame religion and it's controlling nature when it comes to sex. I have a mate who got married just to have sex as it 'wrong' to have sex before marriage. If anything it is deemed wrong full stop to be engaging in anything of a sexual nature in his reality. Talking about it makes him go red!!

It's so engrained that even though I am not religious I am still having to shake off the shackles of sexual repression that has been enforced by modern day British/American culture as well as my folks. Now with the help of what I've learnt about myself and what I want I am going to enjoy it, and like you say Summer Junky, enjoy being called naughty (a footnote to that, I think girls like to call us naughty so they aren't seen as sluts).

Yeah that's exactly my point. The superego (Freud's term for the unconscious part of the mind which passes judgement onto our actions) seems to be fucking with their heads and making them feel bad or guilty for wanting to have sex with a guy they've just met, which is ludacris if you think about it cos it's a natural instinct for people to feel this way. I'm not saying that everyone should have sex with each other just because they get the urge, but there really shouldn't be so much tension surrounding it. We should be able to express our interests freely without being labelled a slut, or a player or whatever.

Interesting. I agree that sexuality should be expressed freely, and that it's somehow unfair on girls being branded sluts, but I do think all the tension adds to the whole excitment of 'the chase' and the uncertainty.

Its nepalese for Pedestal, keep up...

I suppose it has to be when you look like you do.

I have just vomitted out a large post on this http://www.puaforum.co.uk/seduction-...html#post11543