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Default Sexually and Mentally frustrated. - 28-10-2015, 10:07 PM

Hello

I guess this isn't a first thread about these issues and won't be the last. Similarly to others in my position, I have never been with a woman, no relationships, no ONStands. Practically zero contact with women other than friendships (which are even more frustrating). At first I thought it is simply sexual tension that could be relieved by for example: masturbation(I guess it was until some point). However there wasn't much that helped. Masturbation helped for a couple of hours, stopping that awful feeling of pressure inside my head but then it came back. Now I don't even bother to fight it. I am constantly depressed, tired, frustrated and feeling like an useless piece of shit. The older I am getting, the more I think that I am some sort of a weirdo that will be alone till the rest of his life. It fucking hurts...

I don't have problems with approaching women (Doesn't work very well in clubs etc. where women will be approached for obvious reasons), I can talk to them, be funny yet never do anything to move forward in terms of sexuality. I've analysed my mistakes and it seems to me that women see the desperation that I have. I am needy, I have to admit that.

Lately I seemed to have a lot more luck than I've ever had in my life in terms of meeting women: http://www.puaforums.co.uk/beginners...ink-about.html
Yet the problem persists, I am needy, frustrated and mentally a wreck. I feel that I have a chance with this one yet I am lost. I don't know how to approach my problem, how to be more a man and less of a pussy.

Any advice would be welcome.
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Default 28-10-2015, 11:02 PM

You might find this hard to realise, but this level of frustration can be a very good thing. The people who are this level of pissed off about their situation with women are generally the ones with enough negative drive to get somewhere. Use it. It's the half arsers, armchair experts and 'I'll do something eventually' type people who are fucked.

It's contingent on a large amount of effort on your part though.

The main thing you need to do is go out and talk to girls. A fuckload. Probably what might even seem like an unreasonable amount to you. Accept the fact that you aren't good yet and that you might not be for a good while. Accept the fact that you don't know shit and can't properly assess the situation without actually experiencing it. Be humble about what you're doing. Other people might be better or more comfortable than you, but embrace the fact that you're the one who's putting work in.

Stop complaining. You can think it put don't indulge in saying it. Ask for advice but don't feel like you are owed help. Your situation is as it is and no form of god or karma is going to set it right. That's for you to do.

Make sure your shit is right in other parts of your life. Eat well. Read. Keep your mind straight. Work out.

It will probably take a few years to get to the point where all that frustration is totally behind you. Accept that too. But do all the above and stick to it, and it'll work out fine.

Now go get on with it.


Y'all think it's bougie, I'm like, it's fine
But I'm tryin' to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99
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Default 29-10-2015, 05:19 PM

I always was a very logical guy who wanted to have everything planned out. Today however i did something in a completely opposite way. I was walking back to a bus stop in the city centre. A thought popped into my head. "I always wanted an ear piercing". As i searched for a local piercing salon i spotted 3 girls walking in my direction. I remembered what you said: "talk to a shitload of girls". I stopped them and asked for an opinion. I gotta admit that my heart was pumping like crazy at that point. They said that i should do it, we had a laugh. After that i felt crazy confident! 10 minutes later i had my piercing done. In fact it was one of the weirdest yet exciting things i did. I dont know if its going to help me to get through my problems. It definitely showed me that i am in more control over my negative emotions (fear, anxiety and overpussyness". I gotta start somewhere right?
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Default 07-11-2015, 11:55 PM

That's such a good start man! I would strongly suggest not jerking off as it is just a way to trick yourself into thinking that everything is okay or that you don't need to approach women. My advice for you is watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPbxzKF5Fgs and start doing it bro! It will begin to feel natural in no time! I can relate to your problems as I have experienced them as well but you just have to man up, realise what you have to do and do it. Learn game cause there's plenty of videos out there and start putting it into practice. You can do it! Good luck bro! Keep us posted


Hakuna Matata
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Default 08-11-2015, 01:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by badum View Post
I always was a very logical guy who wanted to have everything planned out. Today however i did something in a completely opposite way. I was walking back to a bus stop in the city centre. A thought popped into my head. "I always wanted an ear piercing". As i searched for a local piercing salon i spotted 3 girls walking in my direction. I remembered what you said: "talk to a shitload of girls". I stopped them and asked for an opinion. I gotta admit that my heart was pumping like crazy at that point. They said that i should do it, we had a laugh. After that i felt crazy confident! 10 minutes later i had my piercing done. In fact it was one of the weirdest yet exciting things i did. I dont know if its going to help me to get through my problems. It definitely showed me that i am in more control over my negative emotions (fear, anxiety and overpussyness". I gotta start somewhere right?
Yes you have to start somewhere. You've realised you can't plan human interactions. You've realised you need to overcome fear and take action. You've realised there are rewards from doing this. You've realised problems in the past can't stop you taking action in the present and changing things.

It's a good start definitely.


Can't live with them, can't live with them
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Default 08-11-2015, 03:13 PM

Hey, another update:

1#

At the start of the university I've signed up to a couple of societies. Up until now I didn't have time (and will) to take part in them. One of the society members was organizing a house party to which I decided to go.

For the most of the night it was a sausage party as there was only one girl with her boyfriend. Later on, 3 girls came in and I decided to talk to them and introduce myself. One of them instantly caught my eye. She turned out to be a French teacher and seemed like a really interesting person. We had a lot of laugh, talked about languages and the way the accents make us sound differently. I also escalated a bit of touch, i.e: I touched her legs, put my arm around her.

I have a beard which naturally makes me look at least 2-3 years older than I actually am(18). Up until the point when she asked me for my age she seemed really interested. She clearly didn't want to get any further as I was too young for her.

I am totally fine with that, it is understandable and didn't really bother me. As I was leaving the party I asked her to come with me as I want to speak to her. I asked for her number yet she refused. I said that its fine and that its always worth trying.

2#

Me and my best friend and sort of a wing man went to the clubs on one of the weekends. We found a club and as they allowed free entry and some really cheap alcohol, we decided to give it a go. It was generally empty as only few people were standing in groups talking. We started dancing and generally having fun, not really thinking about picking up any girls. Couple of minutes after that 2 girls came in and started looking at us, I invited them to dance with us to which they both agreed. We were now the only 4 people in the club. My friend started working on the older one and I decided to have some fun with the younger girl. We danced, laughed and generally had a lot of fun. As I started to escalate a bit of touch on the younger one (to which she was really responsive) the older one instantly came up to me and told me that I should let it go as it is her sister and she will kill me if I do anything to her.

I assured her that I am here to have fun and not hurt people. She went somewhere and in couple of minutes she came back and told me that she is thinking more and more about letting me have a go with her sister (weird). After that, me and my friend went to the bar to have some drinks. Girls were still dancing, and as we came back I saw that the older one is more into me than my friend. I went to the very center of the club and started dancing by myself. She started orbiting me and generally wanting to get closer. We danced for a bit then as she started to get more excited I gently pushed her away. She was really blown away by that, she clearly didn't expect that to happen yet it made her even more interested. Few minutes after that we were dancing quite closely, touching each other. I went for a kiss, she backed off and told me" Hey you will have a lot of sex but not with me, I have a boyfriend". I tried couple more times with some intervals for more kino and dancing + push and pull yet the same thing happened. I think she might have really been into her boyfriend and just wanted to have fun.

In both of these situations I had more close contact with women than ever before. Even though I didn't have a kiss close I generally feel more confident.
One thing that I noticed is that after I have couple of beers I start to naturally approach a lot of people, have a really good time and generally be a a lot more sociable. I know this is the alcohol that Is allowing me to do that. My question is, how can I make the same thing happen without the use of booze? I can't be constantly drinking just to meet new people.
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