Hello

Just to start from the right position. I am a total newbie in dating not even mentioning PUA.
As a University student I have a lot of time to seduce women yet being constrained me from that.
Until 2 weeks ago...

As usual before clubbing, I went with my friends to one of my mates flat to have some pre-drinks.
We had a few and went outside heading to the club. On our way one of my friends met his other friend with a group of girls. One of the girls (girl x) from that group is the subject of this thread and my questions.

In the club, I had some really good time, not really focusing on girls, just dancing, drinking and de-stressing.
At some point girls in our circle started putting on some lipstick and generally adjusting their make-up. As I had no intentions of picking anyone that night, just for fun I told one of them to put some on my lips too. After couple of seconds the girl x, looked into my eyes and simply kissed me out of nowhere.
That night we were kissing a lot and generally escalating a lot of sexual touching.
Next day she texted me asking how my night was. After couple of texts I had another Saturday set up with her for some more clubbing.

This time however she invited me to her friend's house where I didn't know anyone. Again, we had some pre-drinks and went to the club. Straight away, we started to make out. This night it was all even more intense and sexual(biting, touching her boobs, ass). At some point she asked me If I want to have sex with her. I said, "yeah sure". I was almost 100% sure that it is going to happen on that night, yet she had to take care of her totally wasted friend and we simply went back to our homes.

Next day, we messaged a lot, simple funny stuff. She told me that she is going abroad this week and that she wants to meet me for a coffee.
I replied that I would like to take her out for bowling.
She agreed and after that she didn't message me at all. Some time after that I asked her if she still wants to go out for that coffee she mentioned. She said that she has a busy day and will definitely text me with an answer later. She didn't...

Few days later, I texted her just to confirm the time I want to take her out for bowling. She replied that she has a lot of work to do before her trip abroad and she will let me know. (At that point I thought that she might not be interested in meeting me at all which also didn't make much sense since we had a really good time in the club.) I simply told her that there is no point in meeting her since she has so much work and wished her a safe trip. She replied that she is sorry and that we can go some other time.

My question is: Should I bother with her and continue and try to arrange a date when she comes back or simply let it go? Has she lost interest? Please point out the mistakes I make so I could learn on them and possibly do it the right way in the future.

Well, I guess I did. It depends on how she understood it. Conversation:

Me: "Hey, about that Bowling on Wednesday. Is 7 good for you?"
Her:"Hey, I will have to let you know as I have so much work to do before Friday when I leave."
Me:"Yeah. Then there's no point of it then. Have fun there."
Her: "We can go some other time, sorry "
Me: "Yeah alright."

I have to admit that at that point I was really pissed off and I might have misjudged the situation. Any ideas on how to make it work?

PS: There is also one other thing. In clubs she was so into me she almost ripped my shirt off me out there, yet when we text, there is almost no sexual tension in the conversation. I've tried jokes with sexual context, simple funny stuff. She always replies "haha" or other annoying conversation filler like this and never really follows the flow. I don't have a clue why she is like this.

You haven't text her again before she's left yet have you? As Kowalski says leave it until she's back. When you do text her don't jump straight into asking her out again.

I think your overthinking this way too much.

The fact is that I never really been in a relationship before. I was kind of an outsider without many friends. I'm working on this right now and so having such a big interest from a very good looking girl boosted my confidence a lot. Now when she refuses to meet with me and coming up with excuses makes me angry because I don't know why she does that. I would really like to change my mindset on this, stop thinking about it yet my stupid brain does what it does.

I do believe that she goes on a holiday. What i had in mind is the fact that she cannot find time to go out for a coffee with me that she suggested herself or simply informing me about the fact that she is too busy to do that at a given time. She simply ignored it. I know that people have a life and im totally fine with this. I just never dealt with women on that level and so this sort of behaviour seems just odd to me.

Ok, have a look at this timeline of events.
Week1:
-Saturday: Day I met her, first kiss at the club)
-Sunday: She writes to me asking how my night was. I replied that it was amazing and I would like to meet her next Saturday as well)
Week2:
-Mon-Fri: Light, funny messages now and then. A little bit of sexual context in them)
-Saturday: We go out, pre-drinks then clubs. Lots of kissing and sexual escalation, biting etc. She takes care of a drunk friend that was staying at her place. We both go homes with a goodnight kiss)
-Sunday: She messages me around noon saying that she will be going abroad next week (this week) and that we should meet for a coffee. I reply: "How about bowling on Wednesday? She agrees. More funny texts etc.
Week3:
-Monday: No conversation
-Tuesday: I write to her: Hey, you still up for that coffee? She replies: "Sure I will be free at around 4. I'll message you closer to that time." She didn't... Later I wrote to her to confirm time for bowling. She replies: "Hey, I've got a lot of work that I need to finish before I go abroad." I said that there is no reason to meet then and wished her a safe trip. She replied: "We can meet some other time, sorry "
Wednesday(Today): No conversation
Thursday(Tomorrow):
Friday: She goes abroad.

So your last good contact with her was on Sunday. She's away on holiday end of this week and is probably busy or not overly in the mood for doing anything given that she's going away soon.

Again. i think your reading into this way much - stop overthinking it.

She's away to go on holiday - she doesn't have time to see you just now, no biggie. Leave her be. Text her a few days after you know she's back from her holidays and pick it up again.

Ok. Thanks a lot guys. It does seem more clear now what I do(think) wrong. Anyway, I'll keep updating this thread once we'll meet again (if we will).

Cheers

Hey, she's back from holiday. Straight away she proposed a meeting. It was supposed to happen today. Yet again she cancelled it. It is now becoming really frustrating. I don't want to be a guy that will be ok with everything she does or doesn't do. I wrote to her:
"Hey, you are not obliged with anything. We haven't promised anything to eachother so stop creating excuses and tell me if you want to meet or not. Not a big deal". She started saying sorry and putting it on a large number of activities that she needs to be at. (Then why the hell is she proposing those meetings if she knows that she won't be available???) I said to her that we should meet on a weekend, (there will be an all-you-can-eat deal in one of the nicer restaurants on campus and there is a less chance that "something" comes up to distract her on a weekend). Now, my question is: What should i do to make sure that she won't behave like this anymore? I know that one of the options is just to find a next girl. Yet I would like to continue meeting her and getting closer. Any ideas guys?

She's just back from holidays and said to meet - Clearly she wants to meet you


She listed all the different activities she's got to do - I do it all the time... say to meet someone then realise I've got a fucking load of stuff to do and would rather get that out of the way so I can spend time with the person later on




Look like you actually have shit to do too, people to see, things to do. You look like a bore if you're doing nothing and that comes off while talking to people.


Tell her that it's no problem that you both can't meet yet, you'll go with your friends the bar instead. Or do some random activity. For example, I'm doing skydiving tests now for a charity jump and there was a girl I was going to meet yesterday but she cancelled and I just said



Show her that you have a life outside of seeing her.

There is a lot of truth to what you are saying. I have a lot of problems with myself at the moment. I am frustrated, both sexually and psychologically. She is the first person that showed me this kind of interest. However I have to disagree with the statement that I am needy and boring (not that I am offended by the fact that you pointed it out). I too have a life and a lot of activities. When she sets up a meeting I plan my things so I can meet her. I put effort into this. From my point of view it is extremely frustrating. More and more it just seems that she is playing with me and trying to find out if I will do whatever she wants. It might not be true yet this is how I feel. I need help, both with this case and my inner game.