Well with that regard i will tell her how im feeling, probably with a regard to ending it as soon as i am situated to move out (ie have my car back and borrowed some cash to pay deposit for somewhere to live).Im not attracted to her and pretty much never have been.I dont feel im being shallow with this regard if i was i wouldnt have stuck around and tried to make this work for 3yrs.I just think we want different things and sitting at home broke all the time ripping lumps out of each other is doing no good at all.Id rather finish this before it becomes really nasty.
Well i had a lot of family problems as a kid and from the age of 14 up until the last 4 -5 years i had been jointly suffering from alcohol and drug addictions.I am now recoving with that regard.So im certainly not saying i didnt have good times that would be a lie,there are many that ive had.But I feel ive missed out on a lot of learning and enjoyment that others havent.I mean who wants to date a drunken/drug addict right!! not me
Ok ill try and fill some of the blanks with that regard.I dont really see my friends much anymore and tbh most have moved away now (i dont blame em its pretty quiet round here lol).My gf is pretty overbearing and gets jelous, rings every half hour when im out,checks my txts and laptop (ive now put passwords on these) i have to sit in the shed so she cant listen in on my phone conversations.I dont see any girl m8s really apart from when i can sneak out and see this girl.I dont do anything man lol
Ive just landed a new job which is way better than my old one which was the job from hell,it took me 2 years to get out of there,so with that regard im on a high
I love old skool vws (im currently involved in setting up various meets in the local area),Goth/emo chicks with tattoos and piercings,painting,reading,animals and wierd films to name but a few interests.
My best m8 lives in Brighton and is the natural i talked of above,although hes younger than me ive always wanted to be like him (musician,muscly,good looking,calm and centred).Weve been to hell and back together and id do anything for him and he for me.If theres anything further you wish to know then just ask man!!

I've been reading some of your posts and Phil and Al_phaD have made some salient points that you'd do well to follow. As for me I'm going to wade in on the happiness front.

Happiness is a choice

As much as the clothes you wear, your mood is a choice - so choose to be happy. Seriously when somebody says something you don't like ignore it or put yourself in their boots, just think nobody died, it's amazing where greeting things with a smile will get you. Don't get pissed off with things you essentially can't control and those that you can control do it positively. Yeah sometimes stuff happens that will hurt offend but its how you deal with it, choose to examine what happened/is happening and how you can make it positive. Lets examine your situations:

Your current girlfriend - She seems like a nice girl who's not for you. So tell her that "Honey, I love you but I'm not in love with you. We've been together this long and we're only working as friends". She'll be pissed but hey you'll never see her again or she'll be ok after a month. Then move out to your own place or a houseshare and don't run straight into a relationship, take some time to discover yourself without her influence.

This girl you fancy - As Phil said don't worry about her. The more you go out and attract women in the world, the more you'll understand that you can have a choice of girls and that there are far more fun and attractive girls that you yes you should be going out with and devoting yourself to one girl will stop you being the kick-ass social dude you need to be. You however may find that she'll come back round if it's meant to be.

As Phil aptly said - don't be outcome dependent i.e. dont give a shit. that's the difference between your friend the natural and yourself. He doesnt care if the girls like him or whether he gets their number, hence he does well because he wont be upset if he's turned down, so get out there, approach girls, find that they turn you down and you dont die! then carry on not dying and approaching girls. The only point I would disagree on Phil with is about being a cunt for a bit. Phil does know his stuff and it does work a beast but i would advocate an approach that is aligned with the guy you want to be.

As for PU material, I found the mystery method worked really well for opening and starting conversations when i got into PU and then I watched RSD blueprint decoded which blew me out of the water. These worked for me, but you might find you prefer a different style such as NLP etc.

That's just what i would do in your position - have fun...

if u read mate, i say dont become a cunt, just be a cunt for a short period.


learn how to be a cunt. but dont become one. the intention is not to be a cunt permanently but to eventually have that attitude of not caring.

We don't care if you'e shallow or not..
I can relate to looking up to a friend, but it is not a competition. He may be awesome, but you can be too. Your mate will have his flaws. As daleinthedark said, he probably doesn't give a shit about being rejected. And neither should you.
Stop caring about your previous demons. About the drinking and drugs, just use that to fire your desire for self improvement.
Join a class of some sort, dancing, or just any class where you can meet new people. Be forward, open and honest. If you like someone, male or female, just say "hey, fancy a drink sometime?".

As for your paranoid and possessive girlfriend, well you can look at it two ways. Yes she may check up on up you etc etc, but you have been to see another woman behind her back?
Just be honest with her, this is not working, I am moving out, END.
I don't know your financial situation or commitments but save up some dollar and get out ASAP and start fixing this mess.

As daleinthedark states: this is a choice, and if you feel at rock bottom, the only way is up..

I get where you're coming from (and edited my post because you didn't say that) and one of my best mates is really successful with girls that way that's why i wouldn't say don't do it.

For me I couldn't do it because I don't need to and think it's the opposite direction to where I want to be.

im a cunt with girls when i meet them, but i do it with a smile on my face so its not malicious, its palyfull... but i will say things u should really but i get away with it, i do this continuously...but as long as you are str8 in what u expect from them, & u dnt head fuck them... ur not bein a cunt. a cunt isnt really based on what u say, its ur intentions and actions.

but alas we all have our own direction

Forget about your age 30 is nothing, I'm 32 and it doesn't matter.
When I joined this forum I honestly thought Phil was an idiot just because of his style of writing. It was pretty shallow of me but now I've read a lot of his posts I know he is very clued up and has great advice.

I need to take that advice and try being a cunt to women for a few weeks I'm still too nice and not progressing as much as I should be...

Going down the gym is great advice too, don't be a fatty.

Wow guy this advice is great and deffo what ive been hoping for
I will do everything suggested above to the best of my ability,like you say Al_phaD when your lying in the gutter the only way is up!!
Well i may sound just a little bit daft now but im struggling with is how do i not give a fuck??How do you be arrogant?? i want to be but im not sure how.Is there some exercises i can do to flex my cuntish muscles??Is it simply a case of walking up to a girl and telling her her clothes are shit with a smile on my face??Is that pretty much what ur getting at Phil??
Daleinthedark ill check out your pua suggestions.
I had a sit down with a pen and paper today and just jotted stuff down about where i am and stuff going on.From what i can gather currently im pretty much afraid of everything,which sounds bad but actually i dont think it is,as ive never really realized this till now.
Im starting to figure its like my other illnesses until you hit rock bottom,you cant seem another way.Now at least i can see and accept i need to make changes in my life.Facing them is gona be scary but im starting to see its going to be better than spending the next 20years married to someone whos not for me,living a life i dont want!!

Just stop giving a fuck what everybody thinks about you.
In most cases, the majority don't actually care anyways.
People have their own lives to lead.

Start with your looks. This is the easiest for you to change. Join a gym. Start looking good. Buy nicer clothes. Style yourself so that you look in a mirror and think, Yea I'd fuck that!

At the same time, talk to your girl. But answer this question for us, DO YOU WANT TO STAY WITH HER?

If you do, cut out all the PUA stuff and fix the relationship.

Your posts reminds me myself when I started. I've got a long way to go but some things I know I have to do.

Push myself out my comfort zone, everyday if possible (not just PUA stuff).
Take action don't delay.