Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovefish
Well with that regard i will tell her how im feeling, probably with a regard to ending it as soon as i am situated to move out (ie have my car back and borrowed some cash to pay deposit for somewhere to live).Im not attracted to her and pretty much never have been.I dont feel im being shallow with this regard if i was i wouldnt have stuck around and tried to make this work for 3yrs.I just think we want different things and sitting at home broke all the time ripping lumps out of each other is doing no good at all.Id rather finish this before it becomes really nasty.
Well i had a lot of family problems as a kid and from the age of 14 up until the last 4 -5 years i had been jointly suffering from alcohol and drug addictions.I am now recoving with that regard.So im certainly not saying i didnt have good times that would be a lie,there are many that ive had.But I feel ive missed out on a lot of learning and enjoyment that others havent.I mean who wants to date a drunken/drug addict right!! not me  (Im not trying to be overly negative here just saying it like it is)
Ok ill try and fill some of the blanks with that regard.I dont really see my friends much anymore and tbh most have moved away now (i dont blame em its pretty quiet round here lol).My gf is pretty overbearing and gets jelous, rings every half hour when im out,checks my txts and laptop (ive now put passwords on these) i have to sit in the shed so she cant listen in on my phone conversations.I dont see any girl m8s really apart from when i can sneak out and see this girl.I dont do anything man lol
Ive just landed a new job which is way better than my old one which was the job from hell,it took me 2 years to get out of there,so with that regard im on a high 
I love old skool vws (im currently involved in setting up various meets in the local area),Goth/emo chicks with tattoos and piercings,painting,reading,animals and wierd films to name but a few interests.
My best m8 lives in Brighton and is the natural i talked of above,although hes younger than me ive always wanted to be like him (musician,muscly,good looking,calm and centred).Weve been to hell and back together and id do anything for him and he for me.If theres anything further you wish to know then just ask man!! |
We don't care if you'e shallow or not..
I can relate to looking up to a friend, but it is not a competition. He may be awesome, but you can be too. Your mate will have his flaws. As daleinthedark said, he probably doesn't give a shit about being rejected. And neither should you.
Stop caring about your previous demons. About the drinking and drugs, just use that to fire your desire for self improvement.
Join a class of some sort, dancing, or just any class where you can meet new people. Be forward, open and honest. If you like someone, male or female, just say "hey, fancy a drink sometime?".
As for your paranoid and possessive girlfriend, well you can look at it two ways. Yes she may check up on up you etc etc, but you have been to see another woman behind her back?
Just be honest with her, this is not working, I am moving out, END.
I don't know your financial situation or commitments but save up some dollar and get out ASAP and start fixing this mess.
As daleinthedark states: this is a choice, and if you feel at rock bottom, the only way is up..