I wonder to myself sometimes, how i can be as i am with girls & then there are guys who are having such issues.

theres got to be a reason.

a, Experience and how you grew up

b, Instinct & nature, could it be genetic?

c, Perception... How you perceive.

I have always been able to talk to people, since i was a baby ive been inquisitive & outgoing.

however.... i as a kid was the one palmed off with ugly girls... so what changed

well.... i can list the things that i personally remember having HUGE effect on me... maybe u can replicate

I was with my Girlfriend who used to be HORRIBLE, this i feel had a huge impact on my need to be impressive.

She hated on me for how i dress, my weight... told me how i should dress, fuck and was pretty much a cunt.

She will never realise but she helped me so much. I began after we finished t become these things so i could rub it in... i became her ideal guy primarily to show her i was moving on.

what i noticed with this was it wasnt just her who liked nice clothes, clean shoes... but all girls.

then was my personality. i was easy going... and always a laff & could always pull, but i had friends after we split who wer CHAVY AS FUCK... just wearing tracksuits going to all the VILE BARS... id watch them just grab girls & say, cum here... take them home... walk them to the bedroom & say ... right come on BED.

i was disgusted by it and wondered how that even works.... what i knew from what women told me is they wanna be respected, yet they do SO WELL doing this.

a big change for me was one girl who was my friends GF's Sister. i was texting her being my nice self when i found out she was texting this other mate who was a goon... and i thought she was a proper nice girl... yet she loved this BAD LAD WHO SPOKE TO HER LIKE HE WAS BETTER.

EYE OPENER... women are drawn to the hard route. i started to act like these guys, yet with somewhat more decorum.... a little more class.

and even doing it in ways they never.... *** WITH A MUCH HIGHE CALIBER OF GIRL...

it works the same!!!!

so i now have this understanding of appearance & how to dress...

i now learned this alpha attitude combined with mine....

it then took me a major heartbreak to realise u dont need to be a prick to women to be alpha... u dont need to be cold.

u just need to be in charge & protective... and u can still be good to them..

just mean every so often, keep them on their toes.

and now im here.... fuck PUA, i fell into learning about appearance throo SPITE

i learned how to take charge throo CHAVS

and i learned how to be me throo heartbreak.

and i am fuckin SHIT HOT at getting the girls i want...

book are shit... look at what works around you.... if you think its VILE, break it down and take the fundamentals.... then re brand ...

make urself what you want to be from what works around u

!!! and fuck everyone else.

peace

x

I can relate to some of this..

One of my exs was a complete dick to me, and it made me change who I was into someone a lot more confident and like you said, the guy she wanted and now can't have.. Epic feeling when you know she still wants you

Why did the heartbreak make you realise
"u dont need to be a prick to women to be alpha... u dont need to be cold.
u just need to be in charge & protective... and u can still be good to them..
just mean every so often, keep them on their toes." ??

Opposed to making yourself into something you want to be. Stop seeing it as changing the self, instead simply start doing the things that you want to do without the fears that hold you back from doing them.

In essence, if it's something you want to do, then do it. That is in fact being yourself. Fears create a dishonest actions, or at least actions that aren't entirely what you want to do.

Simply being and doing the things we want to do is being honest and being ourselves. Fears are the things that create dishonest social personas based on a fear of judgement of just being yourself.

Remember that confidence isn't really a tangible thing, it is merely the absence of fear. When you have no fear you just do stuff and you do it honestly, or at least to the extent of what your true persona is.

I think that, in essence, the advice "Be yourself" has been lost, or at least the strength of it above has been.

I don't pretend to be my true self 100% of the time, I don't think anyone can be, (though K might disagree with me in regards to himself here). I think that striving for this is not only beneficial in terms of the results it gets but it is the healthiest mental goal as well.

I say this not at all in argument of your post Phil, it's an addition and slight rewording of your change/rebrand advice. I don't think it's so much a case of needing to rebrand, people aren't showing off their brand in the first place.

Just be real.

signing off with peace, you have become kowalski

coz i spent over a year being cold and distant with someone i cared for ALOT just coz i felt if i didnt she wud fuck off...

in the end it was that which drove her off.... but i still beleive part of the reason she loved me was that..

so i think keeping an element of it is important, but had i been less of a prick... things probably worked out better.

not that i regret the break up i learned alot from it. but its a lesson for my next one.

"If there is something you want, hiding from it isnt going to help"

no you are

ill be honest i found that post hard to read.


what i do believe is BE REAL, BE YOURSELF all that basis is the reason people cant change..

you have to be someone else first before it becomes you.

thats called learning... so if pretending your a cool ass mo fo, until you realise u are a cool ass mo fo without trying anymore

means u had to pretend to be to get to be.

if it means being somone your not, to get to be who you want... then FUCK MORALS & GENERAL IDEAS!!!

if your doing it, it is the real u... coz ur doin it.

In reality you are to other people their perception of you

In your reality you are how you perceive yourself.

get real... image is everythin

I guess that is where the saying about
"if you don't love yourself, how can anyone else love you"
comes from..

cos you got to look after your image.. once you start wearing bad clothes, not shaving, put weight on, no body shape from the gym, it all goes downhill personality and female wise

your right, your personality changes with your image.

you dont keep yourself looking good... your treated different

effects confidence...

effects life

You've misunderstood. I'll give an example.

Holding back something because of social circumstance is in fact not being the real you. It is holding back the real you. This is what everyone does. It is the opposite of being real.

At home, alone, when there are no dumb social influences acting upon your nature, you are being 100% yourself. When you're listening to x song alone you really like but would never admit to others you like it, you are being yourself, when you're pretending not to like it for the sake of image, you are not being. Please don't nitpick the example, the example is unimportant, I'm just using it as an illustration of the point.

I agree with you, what you do is what you are. In essence. It is however not what you are entirely.

Let's say this. A guy is being himself when he sits and has a drink in the pub, in this instance he is him, yes. But underneath that, let's look at another layer. He might want to go and dance but is influenced otherwise due to fear (based on any number of social influences that's unnecessary to go into). In this he is still being him, but he is omitting. The entire him isn't acting, by being genuine and real you do not omit, the entire you is always being honest. Omission of this real self is social dishonesty perpetrated on a grand scale, caused by social fear.

I say that, the fictional guy you're writing this for, that guy that needs to change, he doesn't need to change at all, not who he is anyway. What he needs to do is let go of all the fears, anxieties, issues and whatever else is holding him back from simply being who he wants to be. He is already that guy, he is simply holding back from doing these things due to all those fears.

Most here can relate in some way to the phrase "You're the only one that really knows me", or "I can just be myself with you" or any other variation of this. The complete honesty that comes with such a level of comfort and trust with another person. (which for the record, still isn't the entirely true person, in my opinion). People here that can relate to the complete, total, utter feeling of comfort, relaxedness and just general peace that comes with simply being able to do, say or be whatever around someone without all of the millions upon thousands of fears influencing all actions.

This I believe is still what you suggest people should be. It is in essence, being whatever they want to be. If there is something you want to do, just do it, but do it without influence and without those fears. Striving to just be real, all the time. To ditch all the different personas put on based upon the type of people we're around, to just be the one true person 100% of the time.

When we examine what the "real" person exudes and demonstrates it's a no brainer from a utility perspective. People see him(or her) as confident, he is completely at peace with who he is, he shows immense (to the point of total) personal strength. He's showing that he doesn't care whether people like him or not. He's showing all of the abundance theories and principles because he's demonstrating no personal fear whatsoever. On top of all of these things, simply being this self will attract EXACTLY the kind of person he wants. He is being all shades of strong, valuable, whatever ideas you want to place upon personally attractive worth while at the same time being unfearful of pursuing the people he wants. At the same time, he is totally cool with whether they are attracted to him or not, because he hasn't got personal fears of being rejected. This in turn means that the girls he does get with are exactly what he wants and they are attracted to him for being his entirely true self, most likely meaning they're extremely compatible.

The entire thing is just a bit of a no brainer.

Apologies for the poor and jumbled writing, tired.