You've misunderstood. I'll give an example.

Holding back something because of social circumstance is in fact not being the real you. It is holding back the real you. This is what everyone does. It is the opposite of being real.

At home, alone, when there are no dumb social influences acting upon your nature, you are being 100% yourself. When you're listening to x song alone you really like but would never admit to others you like it, you are being yourself, when you're pretending not to like it for the sake of image, you are not being. Please don't nitpick the example, the example is unimportant, I'm just using it as an illustration of the point.

I agree with you, what you do is what you are. In essence. It is however not what you are entirely.

Let's say this. A guy is being himself when he sits and has a drink in the pub, in this instance he is him, yes. But underneath that, let's look at another layer. He might want to go and dance but is influenced otherwise due to fear (based on any number of social influences that's unnecessary to go into). In this he is still being him, but he is omitting. The entire him isn't acting, by being genuine and real you do not omit, the entire you is always being honest. Omission of this real self is social dishonesty perpetrated on a grand scale, caused by social fear.

I say that, the fictional guy you're writing this for, that guy that needs to change, he doesn't need to change at all, not who he is anyway. What he needs to do is let go of all the fears, anxieties, issues and whatever else is holding him back from simply being who he wants to be. He is already that guy, he is simply holding back from doing these things due to all those fears.

Most here can relate in some way to the phrase "You're the only one that really knows me", or "I can just be myself with you" or any other variation of this. The complete honesty that comes with such a level of comfort and trust with another person. (which for the record, still isn't the entirely true person, in my opinion). People here that can relate to the complete, total, utter feeling of comfort, relaxedness and just general peace that comes with simply being able to do, say or be whatever around someone without all of the millions upon thousands of fears influencing all actions.

This I believe is still what you suggest people should be. It is in essence, being whatever they want to be. If there is something you want to do, just do it, but do it without influence and without those fears. Striving to just be real, all the time. To ditch all the different personas put on based upon the type of people we're around, to just be the one true person 100% of the time.

When we examine what the "real" person exudes and demonstrates it's a no brainer from a utility perspective. People see him(or her) as confident, he is completely at peace with who he is, he shows immense (to the point of total) personal strength. He's showing that he doesn't care whether people like him or not. He's showing all of the abundance theories and principles because he's demonstrating no personal fear whatsoever. On top of all of these things, simply being this self will attract EXACTLY the kind of person he wants. He is being all shades of strong, valuable, whatever ideas you want to place upon personally attractive worth while at the same time being unfearful of pursuing the people he wants. At the same time, he is totally cool with whether they are attracted to him or not, because he hasn't got personal fears of being rejected. This in turn means that the girls he does get with are exactly what he wants and they are attracted to him for being his entirely true self, most likely meaning they're extremely compatible.

The entire thing is just a bit of a no brainer.

Apologies for the poor and jumbled writing, tired.