That is all

Actually, that's not all.

Looks may well play a part in whether or not YOU get approached (in the same way that you go up to girls you find attractive), but if you're approaching people, what matters is more what comes out of your mouth in those first few seconds. I've seen guys who look like Brad fucking Pitt fail miserably with girls because they have no substance behind their looks, but guys who look like Screech (yes, that's a saved by the bell reference) score with some serious hotties because they ooze confidence, style and flair

hows this then! my mate used to do shit hot with women!!! now he is overweight!!!

gets none! not throo lack of tryin, he still thinks he looks the same as he did!!!

explain tha

Could it be that the loss of his looks has affected his self-esteem and his confidence, which comes across when he goes on the pull.

There's a million different ways of looking at this. I can think of examples that both support and contradict either point of view.

I watched that Mystery tv show, the dating thing, a while back. I remember he took some students out to a bar. One was overweight and worried about it. Mystery pointed out another guy there, a plump Asian, talking to a couple of pretty girls. He was fairly snazzily dressed, had a cool hat. He looked good - comfortable in his own skin, you might say; quietly confident. People respond to this. His looks didn't matter, but how he acted did.

On the other hand, there was another show on here in the UK a few years back, a one-off I suspect was a pilot for a series that never got made: it featured a couple of fairly laid-back PUA's who took some desperately single guys out and tried to help them get the confidence to talk to girls. Don't even ask me what the show was called, there's no chance I'd remember. In that, it was the men who were generally the most attractive who did best, no doubt. And, now that I come to think of it, it's generally the better-looking guys, it seemed to me, who succeeded on Mystery's show as well. However, this may be more a reflection of their already existing 'inner game'. If a lack of response did nothing but confirm the student's low self-esteem, and if they were particularly disadvantaged (one poor bastard had had polio as a baby and was barely five feet tall), then they were clearly faced with a much more uphill struggle.

An example from my own social circle. A friend of a friend (let's call him FOAF) is a very good looking chap. When they were in their twenties, he and my mate would (I'm informed) go to clubs, and girls would come up and ask if they could sit with them. That's the advantage of looks.

But in every instance I'd met him, FOAF was clearly cripplingly shy. I recall clearly my own experience of going to a bar with him and my mate and watching as FOAF - despite having stated he wanted to meet women - headed straight for a table about as far away from any available or single women as you could possibly get and essentially hiding there the rest of the night. If he was going to meet any girls, it was only because he hoped they might make the first move.

I similarly witnessed FOAF sitting next to a very pretty girl of my acquaintance who was interested in him, but he didn't say a damn thing to her for over an hour. He just sat there looking frozen, until she gave up waiting and went away. His loss.

He had the looks, but he very often didn't get the women unless they approached him first. Why didn't he ever make the move? I was told that during his teens, FOAF looked nerdy and unattractive, so his 'life script', as it were, was set in stone at this time.

It's our jobs, if we can, to break the programming and rewrite that life-script. That's certainly my goal: to edit that script. I have a solid and fulfilling life in many ways, but it lacks the right kind of women. I've never yet quite overcome the terror of approaching women in the street - I've done it, but rarely - but to gain the confidence to do that would, I know, improve my life in other areas as well.

I still hold that a guy who has something interesting to say - and who can 'demonstrate value', as they say - is going to win a good deal more than a guy who's just good looking.

I saw an interesting example of this the other day, in a film called Relentless that's just out. Early on, the protagonist has taken a pill that makes him super-intelligent. He runs into his landlord's Asian wife, who's angry at his non-payment of rent, and he sweet-talks her by telling her how to pass an exam for her legal studies. He talks knowledgeably and with confidence, and before you know it her knickers are off.

Now this is just a fictional scenario, but I find it reflected in real life. I know a guy in his fifties, portly, white-haired, who's permanently surrounded by women in their twenties because he's widely-read, he's led an interesting life, and speaks confidently on all manner of subjects (even ones he doesn't really know anything about). A mate's father is in his mid-sixties, but spends his retirement traveling the world climbing mountains that get other people killed. When he talks about his life, it's full of captivating stories - ie, he demonstrates value. This is almost certainly why despite being a bit of an old duffer, he's had every one of the half dozen barmaids in his local pub.

Recall the point Style himself once made - to demonstrate true value to the opposite sex, you must find that of value within yourself and make as much of yourself in your life as you can. Be, as Bill and Ted might say, excellent: not only to others, but also to yourself. When you're genuinely the most interesting guy in the room, you have higher value than those who are better looking than you. If I have one advantage, it's that I'm proud and confident of what I've achieved in terms of my working life. I'm far from rich, but I'm extremely fulfilled.

There is, after all, a reason why so many college professors get seduced by their female students.

LOADS of factors that influence attraction.

Looks Helps
Physique Helps

Ultimately its what comes out of your mouth that matters most/confidence etc

There are girls out there who wont be seen dead with an ugly guy, there are girls out there that dont give toss

I think you can sell yourself to the widest audience by being as complete a package as you can be.
but...
ultimately if you are comfortable with yourself and being inside your own skin then who cares.

no , my mate said he seen him out, an he never seen anythin like it!! he must have spoke to every woman in there!! i think he acts pathetic if im honest but he used to get laid! no hes just the smae personality but older & fatter

Its not what comes out of your mouth, its really not. Niether is it looks. Its emotional power and survival strength all the way.

Maximillian: what is it you mean when you say 'emotional power and survival strength'? How would they be expressed? Sounds intriguing.

Just because he's speaking to every girl in a place doesn't mean the right words are coming out of his mouth. Personally, I don't ever really need to open any more than say three sets in a place in order to find someone fun for the evening.

so its not confidence now, its what you say??

so now attraction is either,

confidence

or what you say

... but there is defo NO CHANCE whatsoever, that looks play a part....

ye fair enuf ur probly right,


women are not that much different than men! do looks matter to you????


yes

end

please refer to kowalskis post! k please do a link