To give some background, I had built up a visual movie of where we would go on holiday, and what we would get up to, once we were a proper couple and all that shit....Oh dear.

It's not the first time I've had this experience. That's why I got into PU. You can only have so many shattered dreams then you have to start changing yourself.

If she turns out like all the rest then it will only harden my resolve to fuck around. If this time it works out maybe she'll be my wife. I'm keeping an open mind.

We've known each other for almost a year and there's still something there I feel. Maybe that counts for something.

She waved and said hi to me recently as we passed each other in the corridor. Maybe I'm reading too much into things but a wave when you are 6 feet away from each other seems like quite a positive sign. I've been deliberately stopping myself from waving at her cause it seems too needy.

When we chat she makes a point of saying she was out with her 'girl' friends or guy who is 'just a friend'. It's like she doesn't want to turn me off her.

I need to get her alone and woo her somehow.

Ask her out for drinks. Or if your doing something like I don't know, going bowling or something just say "hey I fancy going bowling but it's last minute everyone's probably busy, fancy tagging along?".

Let her enter your world. Then you can also have a good chat without the co-workers eavesdropping, as I think that might be a reason why you are backing out of talking to her in the workplace.



Also dude, these no need to woo her. As I said above, just let her enter your world, into your reality. Look at what she can offer you, don't think about what you can offer her. Think FUN.

One problem is after we first met we used to talk on smoke breaks (even then sometimes other people were there but the odd time is was just the two of us). Now we have both quit that option disappeared.

But we have also been alone on a few work nights out as we were the only two who smoked. On one of those she mentioned a boyfriend. But I don't see that as a big deal these days.

She hasn't completely stopped smoking just cut down a lot , as I have. I'm thinking the best bet might be to make sure we get outside the bar for a smoke at the next night out (even if it ends up the Christmas piss up) and ask her out then

If she's not into it, it's cool, we can still be professional colleagues (good to think that way cause if we do go out and it doesn't work out we still need to work together) . The main thing I've been trying to change is that it isn't my only option.

There's a plentiful supply of women.

In fact Christmas would be the anniversary of our first meeting.

Of course if I actually mentioned that I'm sure she would run a mile.

Thanks.

I don't know why I don't feel that I am entitled to go for what I want and not feel embarrassed or ashamed about it.

This probably goes to the root of all my problems. I seem to wait for permission to do things.

Of course women see this as a serious weakness, which it is.

Just asking them out probably dispels any doubts they have that you might have this character flaw.

This is part of my mindset now. There are over 3 billion girls on the planet.



If talking to her face to face is a big deal for you around work colleagues then just think 'if we were dating would I still be under this restraint?'.

Your answer should be, no, of course not.


So, why worry. You want to date her so act like you're already dating her if it makes you that more confident in the workplace. Take what you want, don't wait for someone to give it to you. Act.

sometimes I've felt like we are boyfriend girlfriend. I think you can't help going into that if you have strong feelings for someone. And she has gone along with that up to a point.

Recently, I think she's noticed me changing and it's piqued her interest. Like we are always saying to newbies on this forum you can't create attraction. But you can enhance or reduce it depending on what you do.

When she was leading me by the nose her attraction for me reduced. And I noticed that. As I started getting more confident in my own reality and liking myself more, she started getting more interested in me.

It's very obvious. But If I start trying to play things on those terms it will kill it off.

You have to stay on your own path. When you start trying to please, it kills it off again.

I'm realising this now.

just please yourself. But that doesn't mean being selfish.