No, don't start acting like Phil, but if someone was to take inspiration from what he said without taking it too literally and just copying word for word

and man the fuck up is inspiring?

Not that Phil said that as I find a lot of Phil's advice more indepth

i think he is saying, dont use the words i used, but think the thoughts i thought.

changing your actions against your thoughts is faking it

changing your thoughts will allow your actions to follow.

its all about mindset baby

That's a better way of putting it.

It annoys me when people say when you try to change yourself it's faking it. If you change your beliefs, your actions will follow in a genuine manner.

In the transition period you might not get it right, or you might try too hard and end up fucking up. It's all experimenting until you become the person you want to be.

Learn what MTFU means to you. Don't think it means acting like Phil. What works for him, might not work for you. Calibrate and fine tune yourself.

K & Phil. Yes and Yes, I understand and concur what you both say.

I have learned from experience, here and other sources to change my ways and the things I do, however I found it wasn't the man up's that did it, but the thought-out advice and shared experiences.

And I do not deny that the OP has been a little wet in this situation and ignoring advice etc.

But I dislike the way that once a unanimous opinion has been expressed, it opens the thread up to berrating the OP with harsh renditions of the same advice. Yes somebody needs to say it, but everybody? and would they say this faced with the person?

As much as you need a thick skin, so much negativity doesn't overly help with the first steps of self-esteem and confidence building, needed to not care...

Admittedly I have generalized and there is some great advice, but there are times (not whole threads) where somebody like yourself or Phil will weigh in with great advice or a great take on a situation, cutting to the point and then other members will join the bandwagon. but yes I have focused on those 2 words because I showed some empathy to the OP and was told to man the fuck up.

Looking back at the thread as a whole my perception has been slightly jaded by my latter exchanges with Saphire and Chillem.
I didn't advise him to meet her, but it's clear he's going to. We might as well give him a helmet for the car crash he's going in, even it's so that he can get a little closure and move on.
I am sorry though for tarring the thread with getting on my high-horse

I don't think it's quite as black and white as that K, When I suffered with depression, it was easy and helpful to find people who had been in very similar situations and how they dealt with it. But there weer also points where I had to step up and do things for myself.
But I wouldn't deal with the situation the way that the OP did, but I'm sure 90% of us here have been heart-broken and irrational at some point or another and although it might be seen as too cuddly, I personally think encouragement works better than derision

Eh?? Thought we were more or less on the same page

Excellent.

You need to realise why everyone uses this forum. Primarily to learn, and secondary to share their experience with others to help them learn from your mistakes. (well, in theory anyway - there's still plenty of BS)

So if someone is hell bent on doing something that's obviously wrong, and everyone can see this, then of course everyone will be saying so. You don't just stand at the side and watch the car crash happen.

Someone in that frail state of mind needs a bloody hard slap around the chops. As none of us can do that in real life (and believe me, if one of my friends was acting like that and needed it, it would be done) it tends to come across as being quite aggressive.

I'm not advocating blindly accepting other peoples advice as the fact, everyone can be wrong. But ultimately others have learnt through experience, so why not take that on board yourself and perhaps save yourself the shit they've already gone through along the way?

Aaahhh! maybe it's my time of the month.

Right I'll put my tampon in, shut up and Man the Fuck Up!!