so i rarely go on dates and had the first one in probably over a year last night...

met up with this girl who had heard about me from her kickboxing gym, (im an mma fighter) so she added me on facebook and we started talking...i think its important to not however that i nearly completely fuked up everything whilst talking to her..she is gorgeous and i felt this stupid need to neg her....so we were flirting a way and i said "its a pity i only go for blondes.. :P" this was not good...

as it turns out her ex was very controlling and told her how she should be looking all the time and basically thought i was a full prick..

but turned it around anway and got her into me again and we met up on sat night. When i saw her in person she was even more stunning than in her pictures, amazing body too and straight away was so sociable and talkative. We went to a bar and talked for a while felt i made alot of good connections with her she talked about her family and looking after her baby sister and just alot of personal stuff i guess which was good. She also mentioned about how so many guys are always lusting at her in the gym and that she gets looked at alot, not trying to sound all stuck u or anything but just being honest about it. I did recognise how i seemed to be building alot of comfort but no real sexual tension...

we left and went to see a movie, she bought me popcorn i didnt really want it and said dont buy it unless u want some, i was asked salt or sweet and picked salted. I was a bit annoyed at myself the popcorn she got me i didnt even eat and she noticed this and also she only likes sweet popcorn so didnt want any..wasnt a great impression...fs. She loved the movie was really scared whole way through lol but a few things that i REALLY should have done..

1. there was a lot of people being loud screaming and laughing and being a bit annoying so i should of maybe said about going to get someone to chuck them out..

2. put my arm around her, she was scared ans kinda rested her head on my arm..instead of putting my arm round her i put my hand on her leg in a reassuring kinda way but really should of had my arm around her i think..


its unbelievable the ridiculous things i was coming up with as to why i didnt put my arm around her....listen to this shite... i thought well..if i put my arm around her its a bit cliched and it may be a bit childish? If i put my arm around her and its not comfy then im going to have to take my arm off her and may make her feel like im rejecting her for removing my arm...?

how fuking stupid does that sound..jesus i swear tho this shit was going through my head..


so still no real sexual escalation by the end of the movie...i told myself before i left for the date that its best to get a kiss before the very end of the date and now it was time to drive her home fs .. got her home had a bit of flirting going back and forth in the car..got to her house...i felt really nervous and didnt know the best way to get a kclose, so i said about getting something organised again cos tonight was fun..

her reply " oh sure i thought u only liked blondes :P"

didnt feel like she really wanted me to lean in for the kiss, she ended up leaning and giving me a peck on the cheek....

text me later to see if i got home ok tho so maybe i havent messed things up entirely.. problem was that she had actually talked alot about exs and that there was alot of guys after her.. she actualy said how she was out with a guy and he tried to kiss her in the cinema and she turned him down.. think that played in my head a bit..

so again it comes down to being able to sexually escalate...im not used to it and havent been on a date in so long, any thoughts?

I get all that shit that you where thinking in the cinema like... its the most awkward thing ever if you put your arm around someone and then have to move it if its not comfortable haha...

should have maybe just played back with her about rejecting the guys kiss and maybe twisted that into why she should kiss you, or why she wouldn't able to turn you down? I dunno I always go for the sort of bold/cocky comments...

to be honest if you ain't dated in a good while and she was really fit you can't expect to do too well. if anything I really think you need to sort firstly the way you sound like your putting her up on a pedestal and maybe should have called her on how sure about herself she was... and secondly don't sit around talking about ex's for too long... they can be good conversation for a short while but you don't wanna end up being the guy who she can talk to about things if you know what I mean.

just my thoughts

db x

thanks mate yea the i was determined not to put her on a pedestal but she was actually very good the way she turned me around, she was saying about how guys are always all over her and her exs are like 34 (im 21 shes 18) and they're also fighters, and that there was at least 3 or so guys competing to get her so it all made things quite intimating for me..as being a fighter, having a good body etc is one of my key attributes its something unique to me and knowing that all the guys after her and her exs had the same things makes it alot more difficult especially when im not used to dates, sexual escalation..

was thinking of txting her today saying basically i should of kissed u but was just a bit nervous and wasnt myself? wat u think.. she could of taken the not kissing her as a rejection or that i was just too scared to.. which are not good qualities..

do not send that text if you haven't sent it yet!

that's not a good idea. at least not putting it that way... maybe turn it around... ask her why she didn't kiss you? or maybe say something like I know you don't like kissing in the cinema from what you said about that other guy, but I was so tempted! so lets watch a film at mine? or is it the kissing while watching films you don't like?... I dunno but telling her you where nervous is suicide imo... even more if she is the type to go for fighters and things obv not a quality she looks for lol...

that's my very strong opinion. do not start talking about how nervous you where...

db x

Your over analysing everything. Really, don't think about "going in for the kiss" just be a bit touchy feely with her and I don't mean groping her arse or anything just little touches on the shoulder arm and waist as your walking or in mid conversation.

As for all that stuff about popcorn, I mean get a grip please, stand up for what you like and don't like.

Also stop competing in your mind with her ex's, I mean really STOP THAT SHIT NOW - shes with you and not them thats all that matters.

Her parting comment about the "blond" issue is saying that she wants you to tease her a little. Text her now and say "hey, we should go out again soon, but lets make it next week - that will give you time to dye your hair blond :-)".

put yourself in the mindset of a high value male who has an abundance of options and act accordingly. You are the prize, not her! (easier said than done, i know!)

I'm currently going through RSD Blueprint Decoded where this stuff is covered in real detail.

I think she's telling you about the other guys who are after her to build her value and also to test you to see if you're bothered or not. the FACT is she's out with you NOT them. Considering it's your first date in a year you did well. You'll naturally start to analyse less and just do once you get back into the swing of things!

Her teasing you about the blonde thing is great, but you seriously need to get your self image sorted out.

I think David De Angelo has put it best, take a pen, write S S U W on your forehead, then go to a mirror and slap yourself silly till it's all gone.

Don't over analyze everything, just act. oh and like DB x said, don't you send that text!!

-Loke