There's a girl I've known for a while. Used to go to uni with her. Lost contact with her when I left uni. We started talking again recently. THere was another set back when her mum passed away, but we've started talking and hanging out again.

I like her, and would love to go out with her (yes I want to sleep with her as well). For a while, I'm sure I was getting signals that she was interested. We went to a comedy night with a few friends, and I was told by my friend (who knows the game) that she barely stopped looking at me. And when I gave her a lift home, we passed a bar and she said "we should go for a drink there sometime" (a sure fire IOI?)

since then though, things have slowed down. We've met, went to a movie, food and drinks. Not really getting the same signals.

I'm thinking its because I've not been playing the game properly. I'm confident in myself when it comes to holding a conversation, humour etc, but I'm not physically attractive.

I don't really feel she is the type to lead me on (quite shy, very clever, and seems to like me enough)

Wondering if there's any tips to help escalation. We text fairly regularly, but mostly random stuff.


SIDE NOTE - i neg her a little about how she doesnt seem to hold a regular sleeping pattern. I thought about saying to her "i've found the best way to sort out your sleep pattern. Join a gym! I always sleep well after I've been for a session". Is this a good thing to say? Keeps up the playful teasing and also shows im trying to better myself, big myself up a little. Thoughts?

Thank you

I tend not to think as it interferes with my game.

You're doing fine. Gym text was fine. Romeo, how about texting her saying you two should meet up at that bar for a drink and a catch up. Or ring her and arrange something.

My observations you're trying too hard and thinking too much about this.

Forget about signals. What do you want? What are your intentions? Have you demonstrated them to her? It's up to you to do this.

It's nothing to do with you 'playing the game properly'. You've said she likes you but then you've said she's not attracted to you because of your looks.

I read this as 'I'm afraid to show my true intentions to this girl though fear of being rejected. One of my excuses for not demonstrating my intentions is because I've judged she doesn't find me attractive based on my own beliefs'

Also this whole post makes me feel you have a scarcity mindset, perhaps I'm wrong.

I would recommend reading 'models - attract women through honesty' (I'm not on commission although I should be the amount I've been pimping his book)

I had the same problem with a girl who sounds identical to yours (shy, clever and can't sleep properly.....freaky).

Mark & Barney are right. You need to ask her out, show your intentions and escalate.

You have this belief about your looks. You should question that. If she kept looking at you that's evidence contradicting your belief that you're not physically attractive. At least take a more flexible attitude. Consider that your belief could be wrong.


To me this doesn't sound like a neg. It sounds more like advice you would give to a friend. Nothing wrong with that but you don't want to be her friend you want her to see you as boyfriend material. So it's better not to give her the idea you are someone she can confide in about all her problems. You can listen sympathetically without trying to 'fix' her.

You might have left it too long without making a move, and she now sees you only as a friend in a non-sexual way.

Yes.

Now don't leave it any longer. Tell her you're taking her.

+1 on the too much thinking
Ask her to a cool bar. Somewhere new you want to try.
Go for it. If she says no then you move on quick.
Do it today if you haven`t already.