Hi I'm Mark.

Age: 32
Location: Hampshire
Occupation: business analyst
PUA Experience: none currently reading the game.

I have an ok job and think I'm ok looking. However I've never had a girlfriend longer than a couple of weeks. I also don't think I've ever had the guts to approach a girl and ask her out. I have no game.

I really want to make a change in my life and I'd like to learn more and PUA.
I'm so anoyed today I spent the whole day playing on the PS3. I really need to force myself out the house to meet people.

Mark

Hi Mark!

Showing some solidarity for you mate. I'm 37 and have only had 1 steady gf. Have a ton of books on self help and dvds from some of the best out there - David Deangelo, Hypnotica, David X, Swingcat and Mystery - but it's a very difficult thing to tackle without a group of like minded individuals around your own level to back you up.

It really is just all about confidence and self belief and not giving yourself a hard time. I'd recommend the books "The Power of Now" and "What to say when you talk to yourself" as a simple place to start. They're easy to read, relatively short, and make good sense.

Thanks for the replies guys.

I do feel like I'm stuck in a rut with my current life. A lot of my friends are now married so don't go out much. My other friends would not be intrested in PUA.

Often at the weekend I find I get very restless and anxious. I'm this is my brains way of telling me "Mark get off your ass and go and live your life" however it's hard to know where to start sometimes.

I do try and look on the positive side of life, I don't want to feel sorry for myself as I know it's not constructive and also is not attractive.

I was at work today and I waked away from my desk and looked at an attractive girl at work and felt fear and It must have been on my face as I saw a suprised look on her face. I managed to break into a smile but it was forced.

I beleive that fear comes from previous experience with girl's I've found attractive. They have normally approached me. Therefore when they go I feel bad as I am not in control. I think this is what appeals to me about PUA, I want the control. I want to know if I talk to one attractive woman and she leaves there will be more when I want.

I do mountain biking and go to the gym but I do find it hard to make friends with people generally. I'm often trying too hard to be nice to people and it's just boring I guess.


I've waffled on long enough. Thanks for the replies anyhow !

Hi Mark,

Yep I can relate to your situation, I'm 30 fairly good looking and I have never had a relationship, I have been on hundreds of online dates the last 10 years or so (I am not bragging here they have just been 1 or 2 dates and led to nothing), speed dating events (going to one this Friday in London) spent so much money travelled the UK and am still going. I do get really depressed as I am very unhappy in my job, I am pretty new to day and night game, went to daygame.com seminar last Saturday which was good. I would strongly look at Anthony Robbins website (tonyrobbins.com) go to youtube and type in the secret first 20 minutes, Esther and Jerry Hicks - the law of attraction book. The one thing I know is that you can turn your life around, I guess the key is action really strongly suggest looking at the stuff I have recommended. I hope things will turn around for you

Ain't that the truth. A problem I battled sparodically throughout university. I suppose the best thing to do is keep it simple - do what you enjoy. I believe the best way to get the most out of your life is to enjoy it; after all, what else can you do? Trust me - I'm 22 and thus, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde, young enough to know everything.

Welcome to the forum anyway Mark. The best advice I can give is to make the best possible use out of the forum - it's free and (sort of) peer-reviewed where much of the PUA spiel out there is expensive and full of shit. Our dear friend Kezia Noble, for instance, paid us a visit a while ago and let's just say she didn't go down well.

Rather, read a load of our threads and discussions and make an effort to get out there with some guys and get chatting to people. You'll be having a great time before you know it.

If you're after some material to be getting on with, I'd recommend RSD's Blueprint Decoded audio book and Juggler's book (I forget the name). I personally would take Mystery, Style and DeAngelo with a pinch of salt - their "techniques" may help in the short-term, but if you want to progress in the long term you'll only end up dropping them anyway. This "journey" is more about unlearning things than learning them, for instance unlearning the bullshit that tells you it's not ok to be yourself and do whatever you feel you want to do.

Mate, there was a time when I was in your shoes, though you'd NEVER know it to talk to me know. There was a time I'd never initiate conversation with someone in a club for love nor money, let alone during the day in an office. As the guys who have been out with me will now tell you though, that's a distant memory these days. I'm constantly on game, chatting to people all day and night. It's just a matter of getting part your insecurities.

It's like door to door sales. When you first start you might need to knock on 200 doors in order to get 5 people excited about what you're selling, but as you do it more and more, you get more natural at promoting the product (in this case yourself). People will throw you negative as to why they don't want your product, and you hear the same things so many times that before you know it your turnaround for that point will be rolling off your tongue. Same thing applies. You need to start talking to people in order to realise that they don't all want you. That's just a fact. No man is wanted by ALL women, but what you're trying to do is sift out the ones that do from the ones that don't.

As you're just beginning your journey of change though, I'll tell you something that I've found works really well in offices.

Regularly (like once a day) go onto a site like www.gorillamask.net. It basically highlights most of the best viral things (videos, pictures, websites etc) that are circulating that day. Watch which links you click though as some are very NSFW (they're well marked as such though).

Find a couple of things that have been going on that day that are interesting / funny / cute (women love things like a cat doing something or that kinda stuff) and just remember them.
Then, if you get a moment when you're talking with a mate and your target is in earshot, mention to your friend (the person you're comfortable talking to) about that thing so that she can over-hear.
Hopefully (as is usually the case), neither of them will have seen it yet, so you can then bring her into the conversation...

It could go a little something like this

You: Did you see that video of the blah blah doing the blah blah. It's so funny.
Friend: No.
You [to girl]: Hey, what about you, did you see it?
Her: No.
You: God, you're missing out. It's hilarious. I'll send you both the link. [then directly to her] Sorry, I don't have your email address. What is it and I'll drop you the link over.

POW. You've probably ended up breaking the ice with her in a completely non-threatening way, and you have her email address in your pocket. Go back to your desk and drop her the email - if she's half decent she'll reply with something along the lines of "hahah, that's funny", or something like that. Even if she doesn't reply, then next times you see her by herself, you already have your opener - "hey blah (assuming her email includes her name), did you get to have a look at the blah blah?" As you've already broken the ice, talking to her a second time should be much easier.
But, if she does reply to your distributed link, then try and casually continue conversation. Be light at first, workplace hook-ups can be volatile (I once hooked up with a girl from work, told her I didn't want anything else, then hooked up with someone else, and the first one went to my desk at night and smashed my monitor - turns out she was crazy though)

All in all, to begin with all you really want to learn is that no everyone is going to be negatively responsive to you - which is probably what you have in your head right now. Speak to enough people, and you'll see that for yourself.

Let us know how your tentative toe-dipping into the wonderful world of PUA goes

Hey Mark,

Welcome dude!
As Tony77 says, you have already made huge progress by making this first step - by admitting that there is something in your life that you are unhappy with, and that you have the desire to change, you are miles beyond many people in this world.
I was saying the same thing on Saturday night - you only have to look at the number of people who have signed up to this forum but never even posted an intro: they have admitted to themselves that they have a problem in thier game/lives, but they haven't made that step to do something about it. You have.

BTW are you the guy I sat next next to at the Daygame seminar on Saturday? (We also chatted outside Sainsbury's at the break?)

Keep an eye on the Wingman section - there's always a bunch of us out in London, and as a beginner myself, I can tell you - it's a great bunch of guys in the London crowd.

Much love,

Craigus

Weird, I would hav thought Kezia would go down very well.

Wow this really feels like a friendly and supportive forum, thanks for making me feel welcome and all the great advice.
Craigus I wasn't at that seminar; I've never been to one as yet. I really like the idea of meeting up with some of you guys In London.

Mark, as u posted elsewhere about small town, it'd be easier for you to move to London, London jobs pay better too, rent a flat as near to the centre as u can afford, and be in a four or five person houseshare via moveflat.com which is the leading London-focussed flatshare site.

That will force u into a social vibe daily at home, and u also have London to explore.
Eg Meetup.com covers all big UK cities.


On a less helpful note, I *must* make this joke reference to my new sexual slang which I leant off a Phil post and the Sky Sports Richard Keys controversy...

Hey BCB... did you smash it?????