Ive been hanging with this chick in town these past few weeks and got on well,so last saturday took the plunge got her number and snogged her face off.Would have took her home but she was getting a lift back to her town 8miles away in 15mins so couldnt do.She has txted me everyday,ive answered a bit but no to often either.This chick has invited me to a gig where the Smilies




tickets are £40 quid,which shocked me.She works silly hours (one day off a week!!) but id managed to get her to say she would come stay next saturday coming,however last night she was like ill come over and stay.I was like cool.Bearing in mind this means getting a bus from the dodgiest bus stop ever at 10pm i was pretty surprised.So i meet her of the bus,tbh fair my convo wasnt at its best as it had been a long day but i felt i was doing ok.Whilst at mine i was being manly id say come sit her,kiss me etc tho again push pull was a lil ropey (both emotional spikes and push pull are areas that need work) but not terrible either.Ioi`s all over the place.So im like im going bed im tired,shes like ok ill put my pj`s on,I go to bed expecting her to come in and get changed,instead she goes to the bathroom and does it??which confuses me???
Anyways im like fuck this im going for it,so i kiss her good, then massage good, then go to take off her top she puts her hands over her tits which takes me a back.So i decide ill leave the room come back and ignore her roll away sorta thing.So i do that and shes like what are you doing come here,so i turn over and she lets me take her top off So i carry on for a bit and try to get into her bottoms boom first time my hand is knocked away second try she crosses her legs,so frustratedly i turn over again.For 5mins ish i lie there and she doesnt say shit.In that time my brains gone into chode mode and before i know it ive said "Did i do anything wrong" SILENTLY SCREAM IN MY HEAD!!!
Shes like im still getting over my ex he was a dickhead or something.Then she makes me pinky promise im not mad and its all cool.Which i do even tho i am very pissed off as i if i made a big fuss itd fuck my chances up worse!!
1. she has little spare time but comes to see me
2. She waits at a dodgy bus stop that id be concerned about waiting at to get there
3. Offers me gig tickets
4. Texts me all the time
5. gives me here number and snogs me
plus loads more
She obviously likes me a lot!! Yet when i get to the bedroom LMR!!
I know your not supposed to be "outcome dependant"! But fuck it i should have layed her last night.I didnt sleep thinking about it,ive had a face like a slapped arse all day and been like a bear with a sore head trying to figure out what went wrong,this is the third/four occassion where ive got in a chicks bedroom or one in mine and its gone tits up.I can accept it in a club or a flake,but when you get that far its fucking soul destroying
All that peace of mind i had last week has completely disapeared now and i feel angry and frustrated again.This shit is tough man:S
Shes coming back over to stay on saturday,how do i avert last nights disaster?? im also concerned that the time limit of leaving it 2 long to lay a girl is nearly up and if i cant lay her i dont want to be her fucking friend ill just kick her to the curb

u tried, ur mindset was... im gonna try fuckin her here.

the convo will have been geared away from sex all night. she isnt comfortable with u like that yet!

so why bother tryin to fuck her?? so u can say YESSS I DID IT, then come and brag on here?

u need to think, im not assed when we fuck, id rather it be fun than rushed & u need to ACTUALLY think that, and let her know u think that

thats the only way u can fuck girls without LMR,

just do it when ur both ready, and not rushing it so u can GET IT OUT THE WAY..

sex is for fun, not the end goal!

so chill the fuck out, and say to her

"look things seemed akward with us in bed, which is fair, coz i dont wanna do it untill it feels ok for both of us, id prefer it enjoyable than rushed, an im ok with it! so lets just say this weekend we wont do it, and wer not rushin it into it just for the sake of it.

then plan on not doin it untill meeting 3

coz unless u have a mindset of

"it will happen at some point "

rather than

"its gotta happen now"

it never will happen...


so sort it out. ur not 12

Yeh i got ya Phil right as always i need to chill the fuck out!!
Ive just been concerned all day that id totally fucked it all.I spose i was just trying to get the lay done and out the way as well as being concerned if i didnt i might not lay her at all.Thinking about it now,its is a pretty chode way to think
Ill deffo say what youve suggested to her
Hey i wouldnt brag on here!! I dont need to,this forum for me aint about that! Its about self improvement and getting better with women

keep it in mind, stop rushing...

well done on the new u

Well the new me went up my arse and disapeared today haha
Ill just take it easy this saturday and have a laugh with this chick,give her the time she needs

remember, sex is boring so why care if you get it or not? Phil is such a knowledgable chap, he's really the only person on here who i would listen to mate.

AJay

You need to sit down and think what your end goals are in this situation, and your overarching goals.

Are you just looking to get laid as often as possible? Are you trying to 'prove' your worth by getting just about any girl? Are you trying to rack up as many girls as possible? Or are you trying to get good stories to tell all your other friends/pua's/etc.?

All of those are pretty unhealthy goals to have, because you're setting your mental state up to fail sooner or later, and have a breakdown exactly like this. Even if you can support one of these goals for a period of time, sooner or later you'll get something that comes along and doesn't fit in with your 'plan', or worse you'll get a string of events in a row that don't meet your expectations. Now you're second guessing yourself and basically feel like shit, much like you do not.

So, as phil said, don't have an agenda. Best thing you can do IMO is put yourself into a mindset to allow things to happen, and to lead them if they feel right and see where they go from there; but don't try to 'push' things if they don't seem right. I'm a firm believer in quality over quantity, and I'd rather go home alone than set myself up with something that might backfire on me down the road... likewise I don't try to push too hard with any one girl.


Also... don't forget about morning sex. Not everything has to happen RIGHT away

Food for thought... she may have been on her period.

Hope this helps?

Dont try too hard. Dont be too desperate. Dont give a flying fuck if you sleep with her or not. She will pick up on this and she will want you more.