Evening Gents,

I feel I just took twenty steps back after taking so many forward. I internalised the game, I eventually went out and started sarging, I've been really improving on my game, I thought I'd cured one-itis once and for all.

So in the three years I've been working on my game, this is the lowest point I have experienced to date. I know this is the most gay thing anyone can admit in a forum such as this, but I've just read something that really hurt. I think I may have just lost a girl I was planning on hitting on the next time I see her. Even though I've dated two others in the last week, and I wrote a post last week on another girls altogether, I never realised how much I like this one girl until I just saw that she has blatantly lost interest in me.

She is HB9, she is very young and she is my student... She's 18-19. I repeat before I continue that I am PERMITTED to socialise with students.

I met her in january of this year, I've dated numerous others in that time and not had any interest in anything more with any of them.

In our first lesson together, it was in a class of about 18 students so it was a big one... I called her name as I did the register... she was giggling... playing with her necklace,smiling with her head tilted to one side. She was beyond obvious. She had a crush on the teacher there and then. We played a game where the class had to write a mystery message to every other student in the class... about half the class wrote one for me also. They were anonymoud, but her's said to me (knew her writing immediately) "do you want to go out with me tonight? "

I told her at the end of the lesson that I knew it was her and she said, that she's young and she has a boyfriend, I reminded her that I wouldn't date a student (lie) and basically it's been flirting games since then (with a 3 month period in spain). I didn't move on her because her boyfriend was a student also (common sense, and courtesy), but I know they broke up in about June.

Got back to Italy in September, continued as before. Yesterday she was in the other classroom with the new teacher and I was in another class next to it (there's a glass wall so you can see everything that happens in each others' rooms. She seemed into him. Admittedly he's pretty good looking, although I wouldn't say he's better looking than me (speaking objectively here). I suppose he's the new boy in town. She seemed to like him.

I go on facebook later that evening and she's written a message to another girls student that I know quite well (translated into English):

"you HAVE TO see the new english teacher"
"is he hot?"
"mamma mia! (yes she really said it), he's from new york, classic american. handsome handsome"
"oh damn why wasn't I there... we'll share him!"

etc etc etc

My throat tightened. I feel humiliated. I fell like I've just lost a huge chunk of territory. It really hurt. This is the weird part. Because nothing has bothered me for a long time now, except my ex. She looked at me like she adored me every time I walked into the room. Now I'm old news

I'd never tell her, but she'll never know how much that hurt. For the first time since I left club AFC in 2008, I feel like a chump, like one of those times when you leave a school disco after witnessing one of the dudes putting his tongue down the throat of your school crush.

Damn.

unfortunatelt it's probably the best way. I'm feeling a bit more logical now. I wrote the post about 10 minutes after I found out. I'm still a bit hurt but at least I'm thinking a bit more logically this morning

who gives a fuck what she writes on facebook, if u want her escalate, if u dont then dont. also dont internalise The Game, it is a terrible book.

You need to go out more dude. Push yourself into tougher situations, this shouldn't be your worst moment. Going out more will make you immune to this kind of shit and better equipped to handle it
Bear in mind that girls aren't ever attracted to just one guy. They're like us. If you see a hot girl and you're attracted does that necessarily mean you don't like the student girl any more? No. There's always a chance she'll reject you but don't reject yourself dude.
As far as this goes just pull the trigger. Do something or don't. Personally in your position I'd just forget it go out and find someone better, but if you like her the total chance of something happening unless you escalate = zero. Do this ASAP or don't bother, the longer you wait the outcome attached and in your own head you'll get. It sounds to me like you're a long way down that road anyway but hey...

Oh yeah, and fuck The Game, the stuff in there's manipulative and mega creepy.

Meh, i just pissed myself laughing at this post!! Really mate wtf????

THANK YOU!

AJay

Just find some other girls who aren't your students!

Meeting more girls is the solution most of the time.....if anything, it will probably make your students more interested if you dis-engage with trying to flirt with them/ask them out on dates

You are the TEACHER, you should have the bloody power - not the student!

Seriously man, you may read this post in a couple of months and think 'why was I being such a douche'

okay where to start.

First of all excuse the delay please. I had to work a lot this week and I also wanted to
take my attention away from women, pick up and basically just have a mental holiday.

The second thing I'd like to clarify if I may is that, when I quoted the word "game", I was referring to my game, not the book by our friend Mr. Strauss. I'm also aware that "Style" and the "mystery method" are often frowned upon somewhat amongst UK puas, as many here prefer La Ruina's more natural approach. But just to clarify, I take my ideas from a variety of sources and I am still learning.

A few people mentioned that I would look back and see a lame post in a few weeks or months. I looked at it and thought that the next day to be honest. However, that said, even if it sounds strange I'm still glad I wrote it. I felt a strange pang of frustration and I'll admit, jealousy. Kowalski made some good points on that. I mean no disrespect to kowalski in any way, in fact he's probably one of my favourite posters here actually; but everything he said I practically already knew was coming. I knew what to expect as a reply even before it was written. I think more than anything else, due to my somewhat mediterranean character I just needed to release my emotions, and I do believe it's better to look like a sissy here than in front of women. I think that's not such bad thing, as in person I did and am still holding a strong frame. I did have contact with the girl in question this week and I feel that I handled the situation very well. Another student even made a joke about her asking the other teacher out, which i ackowledged but did not react to non verbally. I maintained my posture and body langauge and did not make any facial reactions (more on that later).

smiley k, your thoughts on power are spot on and the thought had occured to me also. Thank you. That was one of the best responses. Also your thoughts on hitting on non students were pretty spot on also, which goes hand in hand with amit1207's point that the attention can become somewhat addictive. There are two things to consider here:

I speak objectively, not in arrogance but as I'm reasonably good looking and also quite young considering I'm a teacher, whenever I walk into a class full of teenage spanish girls/ young women the flirtacious commments, whispering etc starts immediately. In Italy they are slightly more discreet, I suppose half way between Spanish and northern european girls culturally speaking, but it's more or less the same. It is very addictive I admit and whilst I would contest that I HAVE become better at picking up in the last year so, I may have neglected my inner game somewhat, as my ego was still being fuelled by this attention. Hence, when I go through a dry spell of less admirers, or if one of my little favourite is taken away from me, I feel a bit of a shock. Perhaps this is actually a bigger problem than my game (you know what I mean) as such. I can still sarge reasonably well when I'm in the right frame of mind and I get women interested in me relatively easily, either in or out of work. However, I am sometimes struggling to maintain attraction. So, there is certainly work to be done. Furthermore, another lesson here is that looks essentially count for fuck all. The other guy in this school is reasonably good looking also and already the girls that were making a fuss over him last week are already writing messages on each others walls on facebook saying "actually, I dont think he's that great". It seems the sheep are going to come back to the old shepherd anyway.

The second point with regards these comments is that when teaching, I am already in a position of power, which under the (sorry) mystery method would mean that A1 and A2 are pretty much done for me already without any need to find a hook point... no need for false time constraints, not too many negs (although they can still be useful in small doses sometimes). One could therefore argue that I am not maximising my potential to practise my game as probably about 80% of the women I hit on, I already have a position of authority over them. So again, you're spot on. I need to go out into the clubs more often and practise on non students and also hit on my students friends instead of my actual students. Good looking out boys, thank you (smiley and amit).

Ajay, I deserved what I got. But see above. None the less thank you too... for telling it like it is.

Stein, your post was certainly one of the most helpful and accurate. Thank you also. As mentioned above, I think the key is to get out of the comfort zone a bit more.

Kamarda, your post was indeed the most felt. You seem to know exactly how I felt and I'm sure you've been where I was. It was direct, but it was needed. Thanks.

In closing, I repeat: I admit unconditionally that the post was lame, but I'm still glad I wrote it. I feel this is the right place to come. When I'm in a sound frame of mind I can write some pretty good posts I feel I am psychology/ sociology grad after all. But this is like driving, you can have all the theory in the world but it doesn't necessarily guarantee that you can coherently drive a car. I almost crashed, which means I need to be more careful and pay a bit more attention to what I'm doing, put the theory into practice.

However, all the feedback here was very useful and I am grateful chaps. Even the most negative posts were good advice, there was no bad advice here. Thankyou

I can only imagine the amount of time you spent processing all the responses and replying to everything. I have respect for you now from reading above, which I didn’t have before. You must really care about yourself to invest this much time in exploring yourself and trying to better yourself, this is a huge bonus in PUA.

However my advice from my own personal experiences would be to STOP GIVING A SHIT! The moment you stop thinking about PUA and just get lost in your own egotistical fantasy the sooner PUA will start working for you. Too many guys here want to learn how to attract woman, when really they should be learning how to find the best ones and repel the bad ones.

AJay

I agree with Ajay, the amount of thought you put into this is admirable. Speaking from experience though, I feel like one of your problem here is that you're in too much of a 'logical problem solving' mindset about pickup. The stuff you write is well thought out and informative, but it reads like a piece of academic work. It makes me think you're approaching pickup in the same way a bit.
I'm aware this sounds weird, but look at naturals. Guys like the situation from jersey shore, your standard coke dealing promoter or street pimp etc. are morons. But they pick up, and don't have any emotional hangups about it. Getting with girls is an EMOTIONAL thing, not a logical problem you can rationalise into oblivion.
Simplify. This is the problem with mystery method. The stuff I do contradicts all that stuff HARD, but it works! Anything can work, provided your mindset is right. That shit is designed to stay in your head and manipulate to take value from people, where as what you need to do is not care about the outcome, view picking up girls as a win win situation for you and them and be authentic instead of manipulative.
So my two big bits of advice are:
1) Go out and do cold approach. I was in a similar situation last year, Im at a london uni. But now I would rarely even bother picking up there. I dont need it. Thats how you get that 'abundance frame'. Once you have that problems like yours take care of themselves.
2) Simplify. This shit isn't magic, it's not a big deal and it's normal. My rules when I go out are be completely congruent and honest about myself, assume they are attracted (instead of worrying about it), and always move things forward. That's it. People can like you for you. People can also not like you and it's okay. You should always be playing to WIN, not playing to 'not lose'. Complicated game is mainly based on making people seem attracted to you when they aren't so you don't have to face rejection. Play a different game, and after a while you'll look back at stuff like this and be unable to believe it was you.

Good luck dude.