This is pretty embarrassing to admit but when I was out last night I finally found the reason for not having closed in a loong time. Basically I was out sarging with 2 mates and was feeling great about myself and the night and the atmosphere was perfect for some pulling. Then I noticed countless times where a girl would give me IOIs all over the place and I'd suddenly find myself scared to the point where I literally wanted to get out of there. The worst was when an absolute stunner danced right up next to me and I just desperately tried to strike up a conversation with my mate next to me, anything to get out of the situation (despite having tried so hard to get to this point!). Then when she thought I wasn't interested and went off instead of feeling gutted of a missed opportunity I just felt relieved! I literally have a phobia of women and it's ridiculous. I'm 25 and see myself as a pretty outgoing guy who can pretty much have fun and talk to anyone (although I used to be well shy in my teen years) but when it comes to a girl who I find attractive I'll be terrified to talk to her in any kind of flirty way. Anyone had similar problems? Is there any hope for a chump like me?!! I'm sure I've got a lot of potential but I keep avoiding the countless opportunities placed in front of me!

Okay for a start you are not a chump, you are on this site, you are posting and you are out doing it.

Your phobia is not with women, its with approaching them, unless there is something in your subcious that is a little more serious, maybe an event in your past but lets assume you are the same as every other guy who is afraid of the approach.

I think you'll find a number of guys on here with similar issues.

So lets break it down a phobia is an irrational fear at present you can't overide the initial panic that sets in, but there are number of ways to combat it.

What you fear is not approaching women but some other aspect of it mostly its a fear of rejection, I was pretty confident to start with my fear was approaching groups it somehow seemed wrong to interupt a group.

It has no rational you are happy to approach men for a chat, but as soon as its a pretty girl you decide in your head 'I can't do this'

There are many cures, some work better for others and combinations of ideas methods work best.

In your case its probabbly lionked with your initial shyness.

I would start there, work on your shyness, which means working on your confidence levels.

In no particular order (with my personal comments)

Use one of the various confidence products out there paul mckenna is supposed to be good but don't quote me

Tyler 'twat' durden's Blue print. some find this useful I find it 19 1/2 hours too long but maybe it works for you.

Some of the David Deangelo videos are quick fix stuff you can use this weekend but is just surface fixing.

NLP is good but requires study, understanding and belief

drink 10 pints short term fix, false confidence

smoke 10 joints even more stupid fix

Neil Strauss stylelife challenge is interesting because although the product is shite the concept is sound. You don't need to buy the book to do this, but its a 30 day plan that slowly builds you up from chattting to strangers, to building yourself up and beliefs up to chatting to girls and running off, to eventually holding conversation. The formula of a step program is common because it works.

Finally stop giving a fuck what girls think, girls get just as nervous 'oh fuck there's a guy talking to me, what do I say, what if he doesn't like me, etc'

Is it just very attractive woman you have this with?

Knave has given some great advice, although what you need is a step by step plan, your already aware you need to stop caring about what people think, however unfortunately we are inherently obliged to succumb to our emotions .

Here is a way you can increase your confidence with woman.

Its called AJays step up programme..... Firstly, speak to woman who you don’t find overwhelmingly attractive (fatties if you must, but be careful as a lot of them smell), you will feel more confident and much more worthy and will not care about fucking up..... slowly increase the attractiveness of the woman and in time you will be able to eradicate your phobia with these progressive steps.

You need to change the neuronal responses your brain has when dealing with attractive woman, its not easy and the only way in my opinion is to take small steps......If you have the ability to ACT then you may be able to covey to others your not feeling these emotions, but ultimately they will still be there. Its always better to eradicate them from the start. However its more likely that they will just be suppressed (but suppressed is good).

Allot of Phobias are dealt with in similar ways, I think this is no different.

AJay

u need to try being arrogant with these women for a bit.......

once u realise being a prick to them isnt so bad...

then u will take them off the pedestal

try telling the next fit girl u see she needs to go the gym! (smile whilst u say it, be cheeky)

Great advice, but if he has a genuine phobia it will be difficult for him to do this.

AJay

Thanks for your responses guys. To answer your quesiton AJay it is mainly very attractive women I have this problem with but its more women that I want to get with and I know want to get with me. It's the pressure of feeling this interest and the expectation that as a confident male I'm supposed to act on it. Although self confidence used to be an issue in my daily life I'm now a very confident guy in all areas of life besides pulling women, and I think that in trying to show interest or return a girls interest I'm terrified that my lack of confidence in this area will become apparrent to everybody and I'll look and feel inferior like I used to. I'm pleased to say I'm very happy in all aspects of myself now and know that I could interest a lot of fit women if I could only stop being afraid of looking unconfident again. I don't want to look shy/vulnerable when I should be confident in this area by now. But AJay I think you're probably right in saying that by trying my best to ACT confident, I might be able to suppress these feelings.

Do what Phil said. Be arrogant to them for a while. Then you will stop worshiping them.